Blogging:A way of life

Blog,one Internet medium i never expected to change ma world upside down.It has been two year since i have started blogging and it has helped me to express ma feeling in a different way.I wasn't comfortable pouring out ma life for others to sympathise about.Ma anger ,frustration,happiness,sorrows were confined to the pages of ma dairy.It was hard for people to actually understand what i was going through and never did anyone gave a thought about it.Since the day i started blogging there were visible changes in ma fight against ma emotions.The gap of miscommunication actually reduced to a point that i never have to explain ma actions, so as to make ma friends understand.Blogging has strengthened some of ma relations which i never considered important.It actually showed me how important I'm to people's life.As long as the emotions are alive so does the blog:MIRROR.

Surviving through tough times.....

Okay so the blaming game have started.So ,anyone interested in blaming me for the bad things that happened in your life?.Interested people please, contact ma friends.
Well i think i have matured enough in the past few weeks to take such criticisms in right sense.Not always though.At some point the blame circles back hitting me hard.I don't think i can explain ma position to anyone as I'm not sure if anyone can help me out or not.Whatever it is,i will survive.

Disappeared into thin AIR!!!

I'm finding it so difficult to find answers to the questions I'm being put through.The more desperate I'm ,the more confused i get.Meetings ,partings,crushes and heartbreaks i have seen it all and i don't consider ma self worthy enough for all the attention.I have lived through ma life for the past 20 years without much complications and one fine day when i wake up to find the names of relations changed, its way long annoying.I think i need to do some soul searching to find out what went wrong and how.May be its ma inability to understand human behaviour.Its just impossible to pretend as if a person does not exist but ,i will have to do it for ma own sake.I have never asked anyone to bring in the stars for me nor will i ask for,i know there are boundaries.Love should never cross the line ,to a point where it turns into obsession.I tried ma very best in making the curved lines straight but,i think it won't help at all.All i can do is to move on with ma life pretending the world is short of a person ,a person i knew and cared for.That person never exists for me from this point of time .

Expectations Hurt!!!

Sometimes we expect too much from people that,when our expectations are met with dead end,we are left out to wonder ,Why we even bothered to expect in the first place.Expectations are always a source for disappointments and the intensity gets stronger with the fact that the person we are expecting so much, is our greatest strenght.I know i made a fool out of ma self by refusing to hold back ma tears.At that point ma emotions were over powering ma courage to hang on.More than ma id being taken away for being late,more than the botheration about missing the lecture to attend,it was incidents and people that were making the situation hard for me to handle.I'm pretty sure that it had nothing to do with ma punctuality as i had no other option.I have had people say"some days don't just belongs to you" and i have perfect reasons to believe so.The whole sequence of events didn't go the way i wanted it to be.I don't know whether I'm right in ma actions and reactions but,at that instant i just felt so and for the expectation part"I DON'T HAVE ANY"

A World Without Women

I'm angry and frustrated at sankar(ma bro) at this point for, he takes for granted whatever me and ma mom does.He never bothers to even put his dishes for cleaning.Either me or mom has to clean up the mess he creates.He wants all his stuff to be done by both of us right from ,keeping his things inorder to even picking up his used clothes.Most of the time there is no arguing with him as he flaunts his"YOU SHOUT I DON'T BOTHER" attitude.Some times it leaves me thinking.This unfair stuff being mended out to me because im the fairer sex.Try doin the same stuff as he does,then im dead meat.It calls for justice in real sense ,no one bothers to bring him under control,No one tries to give him a dose of his own medicine.Im angry and frustrated at the injustice.Why are guys like this?.Always behaving like irresponsible jerks thinking that, God created woman to work as their slaves refusing to help out,refusing to clean up,refusing to listen.They should be living in a world without women then they will understand
"THE REAL VALUE OF A WOMEN"

For your LOVE!!!

What will you do to get back something you love?.Well ask me ,and i know what ma answer is NOTHING!!.Surprised?,well most of the people are at ma answer for, i believe that if you love something let it free.Never hold to ones you love if they don't wish to be.I may seem like a selfish and arrogant person at ma answer but,imagine you want to see the person you love the most be sad throughout his/her life?.If they are happier without your company just let them be ,let them seek new paths.What i have learned is to give your loved ones enough space so that she/he may never feel that their private space is being invaded.Respect is essential in any relation and do follow the GIVE AND TAKE rule.But all this doesn't mean you don't have any right over the other person's life after they move out, let your loved one feel that you are always there supporting at right times.Well ,if you still think I'm selfish and arrogant i have nothing else to say.

IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING LET IT FREE
IF IT COMES BACK,ITS YOURS
IF IT DOESN'T ,IT NEVER WAS

Amazing Race Asia 2

Well what a surprise.The final leg of the race of The Amazing Race Asia was on air ,today and after a long while i was able to catch up to ma favorite show.Marc and Rovilson who almost dominated the race,coming first in all the legs had to be satisfied with a third spot.I think they just ran out of luck,one road block and it cheated them of the coverted title.I think Collin and Adrian got an unfair advantage as the final pit stop was -Singapore , their home country.Rovilson and Marc led by a huge margin even untill the last task,but Rovilson took whole lot of time to arrange the flag of nations they visited in order.I think he just got cracked under pressure.Collin and Adrian,who were always behind the Philipino guys were confident with the fact that they knew their weakness and strong points.The girls,Pamela and Vanessa came in the second spot beating the favorites.I think they deserve a standing ovation.All the eliminated teams were there to chear the final 3 teams.What a race it was ,a race across 13 nations,a race against time and luck.Waiting to see AMAZING RACE ASIA 3.

Parenting it right..........

Mom is refusing to go by ma theory. Parents can be so stubborn at times sticking to what they think is right refusing to what we got to say. Mom just refuses to buy ma story for, she thinks her 21 years better experience has got her sixth sense. Her sixth sense do work at times but most of the times it will land me in trouble. Well gotta make her understand i can be correct too. I love mom to a point where i can't just say it on her face that she is wrong. Well i will have to device new plans to go about.

Valentines day and beyond

What a day?.It was like any other day pale and dull. No roses, no gifts, no teddy bears just lectures AnD gossiping. What can you expect when you have nothing in life ?.I don't feel bad for ma self for I'm happy with ma life ,the way it is.Its that hard to explain to people who have fallen in love at least once and all they got to say is"how can you know"?. Well frankly i don't know and i don't feel i will enjoy the feeling upright.Life is so unpredictable dear........we will wait and see..........

PAIN-ANTINES DAY

What if a single person tries to change the world?.The world and the people will laugh at you for you are questioning something that has been the way of life for ages.I tried to break an ice and right now I'm the talk of the college.Humiliaion,booing i have suffered it all.Phantom you have done enough damage and what i am left with is ma self dignity. Valentines day is such a gross affair and i had more than enough fun.Now i need some peace of mind before i burst off.I know there are people supporting me upright and I'm only making this more tough for them by hurting them more.I am really confused right now and not in a position to trust anyone.

Love being single

I'm 20 and i don't have a love life.I don't care and so do i expect other people not to bother.Please someone just let know that i don't want to be in a position where i will have to think about the other person before i make ma decisions.I really need some peace of mind and im not ready to compromise on ma principles.People may find it silly but,this is what i live for.

Another day..........

Its just another boring day ,i wished just breeze past.Im without a job,sitting typing away ma woes on the net listening to kelly's behind these hazel eyes.The song has being in ma head replaying itself since yesterday.I can't relate to this song in any way but,it kind of makes me feel the pain of people going through rough times.Does it serve any porpose?.People probably will read this entry and laugh about it over their teas "how stupid the gal can get?".Well i dont complain nor do i wish too.Its just another day and it will pass too.

5 things i hate about myself

5.I STAY IN A CHICKEN FARM
Well im not known for keeping ma room neat.Most of the time you can see ma room in a mess.Its only when i have ma relatives or friends over i start cleaning up ma room.Ma mom always compares ma room with a chicken farm.The only thing ,chicken farm will be much more cleaner place than ma room.So on the 5th spot of 5 thing i hate about ma self:ma room
4.HABIT OF TALKING TO MYSELF
Pretty annoying to people around,yo can see me talking to ma self and all the animated characterrs around.I think i developed this habit while i was small,mostly because i dinn have anyone to play around with.I have spent most of ma time shuttling between real and imaginary world.So,the 4th spot goes to this annoying behaviour.
3.TEMPER AND SLEEP
I really get mad when someone disturbs me during ma beauty sleep.This habit has landed me in trouble often .Now,im trying hard to keep ma nerves while sleeping.
2.HAIR HAIR
Iv this habit of tying ma hair every 5 minutes.No matter how perfect it is, i tend to loosen up and retie it.Its not something so serious for i have this habit only when i donn have anything else to do.But,it is certainly annoying so, the 2nd spot goes to hair hair.
1.TISSUES PLEASE
The most annoying habit:ma tear glands just refuse to stop pouring.Most of the time i end up with the tissue rather than the film im watching.No matter what the journa of film is there will be atleast a scene which would start making me cry.Owing to this unique problem i never go out for films with ma pals.
ns-:the only film that dinn make me cry:HOUSE OF WAX...........I think i did cry at the end for saving me from 3 hours of misery.

Please flow by........

Life seems so still refusing to move.I got big things coming up ma way next week but, i can't feel the excitement,nor the flavour.Sometimes its so hard to explain what is going on for ,you don't have a clue and right now i am in such a position.Stand up make some noise and MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!.I CaN't bear this torture of curling up in ma shell and trying to act as if im Lazy.May be i am but, i don't want the movement to stop.

Waiting for ma virus slayer........

Its now a habit to run around with a running nose.I think the cold virus loves me like hell,comes back every one month.The kind of torture I'm going through just to keep ma head up is so much.The only thing that can help me with the stupid cold is antibiotics but, ya i hate it.I have ma friends advising me on various remedies.Ya these things may work out but,who is gonna do all these things.Not me!!!.The cold has brought along with him some of his old friends this time fever,throat pain.I'm gonna spoil their party.Don't under estimate me iv got a fighter within me .Cold ya no cold one thing i hate about the whole process is having to stay on the bed.Someone please save me from the cold .Where is the virus slayer?.Can't you see you princess trapped in the dungeons of cold?Save me..............ooh!!!prince(antibodies)save me!!!!!!!!

Larger Love

Travelling everyday by the boat,I'm in larger love with the sea.I can't stop comparing myself with her.
She is so placid at times
so am i
And so disturbed at other
so am i
She is crystal clear
so am i with ma ambitions
so turbulent at others
so am i with ma emotions
She is vast
so is ma heart
She follows
so am i with good leaders
She reacts creating ripples
so am i to changes
She refuses to be still
so am i
She lets everything float by
so am i with ma attitude
She moves up and down creating high n low tides
so am i with ma life
well here ends the similarities.She is all that's not me and i am all that's not her.

Dad and the kitchen Hob..............

She was meant to help out ma mom but, dad fell in love with her. There goes the tag line for the latest romantic chart buster, one of a kind modern day love story. Dad’s never good at fixing things, the fact he refuses to accept. Well for the past one week all dad kept raving about was “HER” .Her style ,her sheen, her beauty .Well , all of us were so bitten that we wanted to meet her. We knew dad was in “LOVE”. Well you had to see mama’s pale white face. Its funny for” SHE” was at receiving end of mom’s anger. What all can a little jealousy do right?
Tatada…..She arrived today .Gotta accept the fact that she is a beauty. Black body with glass cover and golden lids .Brand new BENC kitchen hob. From the point she arrived dad was sitting next to her with the manual in his hand .As far as I remember dad had never sat next to me for so long even during ma exams. Dad was going on speaking to himself and ya off course HER. Want to know what happened after 4 hours?
Dad couldn’t fix her ,for she was far too complicated for him. Not ready to accept defeat before a lady, he went on cursing the manual .Finally dad gave up and I could hear him mumbling.
“Ladies……..what strange creatures”
Wait until ma mom hears that.

A princess finds her unicorn

Four years is too short of a time to forget someone who was apart of your life for more than 13 years.The joy of getting back something that i lost is still hovering around me.When i was informed that ma best friend for so many years have landed in town i didn't think twice...........all that came to ma head at that point was her face and the faded group pic that we took in 5th..........i could see from distance her anxious face ,as always.She has changed a lot but,she recognised me at once though i have changed a lot myself,these four years,her smile was the proof.FOr about 30 minutes we couldn't speak.When we did start, there were no holding back.These four years what kept her alive in ma memory is her occasional phone calls.When we parted ways today, i could the see her expression the same one she had on the day she left the school.I'm never being understood and felt supported as she did.People always commented on our odd pairing,as we were like opposite poles finding solace in each other.I have never felt that i have lost a friend for she was always there with me and will be.

Reason to live on

Your life becomes worthwhile when you start living for someone else.I know that i have a meaning in ma life,which is defined by living for ma parents and brother.Whenever i feel life is unfair ,the thing that helps me to spring back to life is ma parents.The love within helps me to be a better human being.Everyday i wake up hoping to see ma parent's face and i feel lucky enough to be under their arms.Sometimes i feel quite lost,loosing all ma will to live on but,the fear of missing the ones i love, ones i hold so dear pulls me back.To be honest, ma life is bonded and i don't want anything that will disturb the balance within.I know that I'm living for the right reasons and for the right people.Its a long road ahead and i may find yet another reason to live on.......

Elusive Love

I really liked the quote from Nobel prize winning poet, sir Rabindhranath Tagore’s work.
A poet falls deeply in love with an average looking girl. The girl fears that being so ordinary; he may have to repent after his marriage with her .She tells the poet that he should get married to another girl, a friend of hers, who is also deeply in love with him. In his way, she will continue to be his elusive dream.” An unfulfilled dream is the spring of poetic imagination”.
Does one afford to be so sacrificing when it comes to love? I’m not so sure. What if I am average looking? .The only thing that matters is ma heart. The maximum that can happen is that the other person may reject me but, it won’t be end of life right?. At least I will be happy that I got rejected after letting the person know about ma feelings and if he still rejects that’s his lose not mine. And he doesn’t deserve ma love. The real love is beyond appearances and boundaries but, most of us are so conscious that we refuse to come out and accept the unacceptable. Our life is dictated by various factors and looks is one of them .I have had heated debates on this particular topic many times. Ma idea and concept of beauty is something different from others not, all agree to ma point that all of us are different so, are our choices. Most important, its not outer beauty that matters but, the light within.