NO-N-SENSE

Blogger, How would I have survived without you?. My heart is for the moment brimming with sadness and it feels good to believe that on opposite side of this screen sits an invisible man, with a warm hand assuring me that everything is going to be just fine. I stand with no regrets what so ever. I live in a world with rules created by me, for  my convenience.Today I sit slouching on the chair, unaware of the damage my heated conversation has done . I have no one to speak to, to shout at, to laugh with and the words are trailing off. I don't approve of presenting myself in  a vulnerable spot in front of a mass audience  still, as I find myself in a difficult spot I can do nothing but turn on my system and type away. May be the words are an added burden, not something you would want to read. Why would anyone waste their time reading something confusing and depressing still if you do, please pray for me, my dreams, my life. Things are rapidly spinning out of control and what I wished is not my present.It's stupid to wish for things far stretched but, what I wished was not rocket science but, a simple life with 0 complications.

I hate you (Like I love you)

My relationship with rain can be better summed up by the song from Delhi Belli. Just few days before You saw me marveling the beauty of rain from the INDOORS here, but today I am singing all together a different song. Its been raining continuously for 6 months now and I have this AAAW (Term coined by G's mates in B-school) feeling whenever I see sun shining through the clouds.

On a holiday, watching rain through the window with a mug of tea in your hand. Well, that's love.

On a working day, when you find your formal wear damp n wet .Well, that's hate.

On a hot summery day, as you take out the tissue to wipe off excess sweat wishing if it rained.Well, that's love.

On a rainy day, when your brother refuses to leave you to office .Well,that's hate.

On a suppose to be dull day, you get drenched in rain and watch the nature  in the after rain glow. Well, that's love.

On a damp day,when your co-passengers scream at you for not properly holding your umbrella .Well, that's hate.

I have million reasons to Love-Hate RAIN. 

On a completely random note, I can't see past the word cute. Anything cute steals my heart be it kids, pretty hairbands or cheeky romantic films. I have been constantly telling myself (Or rather societal pressure) to grow up, to accept the fact that I am no more 16-17. I know there is no connection what so ever between my likeness for cute things and my general attitude towards life. But people expect me to act my age, take up things that suits my age, dress up like a 23 year old. I doubt, I mean why do I have to grow up, fill my heart with age serum, let my body think I am old. I am not and I simply refuse to believes so. I am from the temple of belief that once you let you heart grow old, the body will automatically follow and then there is no stopping the grey hairs and growing stress lines. Let me celebrate the child in me, live my life stress free, enjoy every second what GOD has gifted. Random thoughts, random musings, random ideas.

Must be wondering about the source of inspiration right?. Presenting to you one of my latest buys.I am not denying the fact that they are CUTE.

Fighting for Dreams

I knew my brother was home, he usually drops in when his laundry bags are full and has no more strength to hold his stinky clothes. He stays at a home away from home a.k.a HOSTEL. I rang him up and 'requested' him to pick me up from office. Its easy to manipulate him, especially when bike and long drives are involved. The only downfall to this arrangement is the occasional pitstops he would make at his favorite eateries. He agreed(Good for me) and in 20 minutes we were off on the bike. The guy looked upset and I instantly matched his uneasiness to the robotics competition he participated early morning that day. This time, it was not just his laundry that forced him to come home but, a robo wars competition in a near by college. If there is anything that my lousy brother and his alpha male gang is passionate about that's gotta be ROBOTICS. I know the kind of efforts they had put in, the late night chats is a testimonial to the statement.He rings me up at odd hours cause he had soldering to finish and he wants to distract his mind from the drowziness that was trying to take control of his eyes. We would have long pointless talks and after 1 hours or so, he would warn me that I shouldn't be keeping awake late and off he goes to his own world. Mom and dad never understood his obsession and his frequent dipping attendance.For them anything outside academics had to be dealt with after college hours. I knew what he was upto .During all those missed class hours, he would be out there fighting for his dreams, battling for supremacy with his robos in robowars competitions. The guys would miss their lunch so that they can save their pocket money for the best component available. And being his sister it was quite an obvious question to ask"How was the competition,?"I tried to shout it out loud, the wind wouldn't allow my voice to reach his distracted ears."Well, we reached until semis, couldn't beat the other guys cause they had Bosch motors.Our motors didn't even stand a chance to begin with" he replied. "Why didn't you buy Bosch motor then" I asked."We don't have cash!!!" aah a hard hit on my back."MONEY!!!"it's easier for an employed person like me to think of money as just another element in my life but, for a student like him with limited resources...money was indeed precious, especially when you have to give penny-wise account of parent's money ( pocket money) spent."We are not competing again, we are short of cash"he added with a slight hint of despair in his voice. Sacrificed meals, extra efforts in terms of taking tutions, travelling by local class tickets these guy did whatever they could, for their dream to shape into reality . I could say nothing, just think of my good old times when learning was limited to the exam syllabus, funds were never short of only ideas lacked punch(I studied in a posh self financing college, whereas my brother is a student of a prestigious Govt college). Life was easy for us, teachers always used to spoon feed us, train us to fetch ranks, there was no freedom of speech, there were no free periods. The college boasted of 100 % placements in the paper to attract prospective students. I am not against my alma matter but, the point I want to make is:Things were easy, perfect infact too perfect for us but, for these highly talented engineers of tomorrow everyday is a struggle:strikes,no classes,no teachers, no funds still majority comes back fighting bagging core jobs earning 13-14 lakhs per year in the initial phase of their life. What makes me respect them is their vigor to learn and to apply the same . I promised my brother funds for making their dream come true, some small help that I can extend from within my limits. The money I waste on shopping is more than enough to makes these kids happy.These kids are the future of tomorrow and their dreams should not die a premature death cause of shortage of cash. You and me wouldn't be sitting and blogging if not for the trust Mr. Andy Bechtolsheim, co-founder of Sun Microsystems had on Larry Page and Sergey Brin, developers of GOOGLE .

MIRROR, MIRROR on the wall

I spend my boring weekends reading and spending a considerable amount of time surfing the net. I am an avid blogger since 2006, the year when I decided to get away with the habit of putting my thoughts on a dairy cause it presented an array of complications from, my brother sneaking into my personal life via my diaries to finding a new diary every year. My transition from paper to e-pages was quite smooth. I never felt the urge to publish my real name cause, I like the aura of mysterious charm and the privacy that blogosphere provides me. The news of my personal blog was shared with a few as it provided me the perfect platform to let know the other person what I am thinking at the moment, it eased out lot of conflicts within and gave me a perspective to start afresh each day. I wrote cause I wanted to, I am no wizard when it comes to words, just that I can manage my words and have my adjustable grip over em. As time passed my style evolved too and slowly but, steadily this blog became a part of my life. Even today, some of the old memories bring out smile on my lips. 5 years have passed and this blog has been always my pillar of support.

Over time my tastes have changed rapidly from teenage blog following-family blog following-fashion blog following, I amuse myself during each milestone periods of my life. My current favourite? Well, fashion blogs and I have quite a few bookmarked. May be age is catching up with me, or is it the desire to look good and the happiness that reflects when you see someone wear something that you don’t have the guts to wear?. What is that I like about fashion blogging ?the colours, stories, trend alerts, mix ‘n’ match and whole lot more to be precise.

I am not much of a dresser myself, I can easily camouflage myself into the regular looking crowd and you will never spot me J. I look like your regular neighborhood not so stylish 23 year old .I am faced by so many constrains that holds me back from experimenting with my looks

1. Socio-environmental constrains: In my place sleeveless/shorts/peep toes/attention seeking colors are a definite NO-N). You can give the above a miss if you have a chauffeur to drop you from the place you want to go to your home, but if you have parents like mine who insist that you be part of a larger environmental movement by traveling in public transport then the above constrain is definitely applicable to you.
2. Even the climate (hot/humid/rains) doesn’t allow me to wear my heart out.
3. Budget constraints are non-existent because I have a job that pays me well.
4. Absence of any major retail giants in your city can be yet another constrain.

Sandwiched in between all these constrains if I don’t manage to impress you how can you blame me huh?. No one expects me to give em a piece of advice on fashion so, it’s all fair.

After going through the all the blogs I did realise something about myself, that I do have an enviable collection of earrings and after numerous number of thinking-analyzing-rethinking I decided that I would start a new blog showcasing my earring collection and thus, A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING came into existence. This particular blog is not like my personal blog where, nothing what I write doesn’t has to be understood by the reader. They may not make any sense most of the time, not if you don’t know the REAL me. I wish ki the other blog (, A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING) get a small fan/critic base and people read/reject/throw stones/reject my so called obsession with earrings. For that matter of fact MIRROR will always be my first love, the thing I cherish for being PERSONAL. This might clear some airs about posts from A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING getting published on my facebook wall quite frequently.

I do follow some blogs religiously, some which I can relate to, some which I like from a distance, some which I admire well, most of the places I may/may not leave a comment based on what catches my fancy. Most of the times I just read and make a quite exit as I don’t want the reader to be pressurized into replying to my comment or as a return of favor visit my blog. This blog (MIRROR) has given me so much freedom, so much courage to write on/about things I care and it will continue to remain so.

And it rains

Moments that takes my breath away

Moments where I feel blessed to be alive

Moments that inspires me

Moments that takes me to the wonderland with em

Moments ....

Before the rains

The municipality appointed grass cutters were irking not just my dog's sensitive ears but, mine too.

The sun was hiding behind the clouds.

My neighbor has set afire all the left over coconut branches; with the smoke slowly drifting towards my window the sight was not pretty.

I ran to close the window shut, and it rains....

After the rains

Can't seem to complain about smell of fresh cut grass

The gorgeous golden sun beams peaking through the silver clouds...magical

Smoke overpowered by the small drops of rain, the view priceless

I keep my window open taking in a large puff of air before the smell of grass subdues, I catch a ray of golden gleam before the sun says GOODBYE...

Mesmerized I stand near my window grill, savoring the beauty of nature at its best. Definitely, one of the best days of my life.

PS- Not the best of the writing but, just wanted to capture a frame of the visual I saw today, the overwhelmed feeling that I sensed.

Shopping for life

This story happened few months before and there is a reason why I am bringing it up today. On one of my visits home, as I was unpacking, I saw my brand new Levis curve id sitting untouched underneath all that piles of clothes. I took it up, wore them and went straight to my mom .As usual she was busy with her paper works and it took me more than 10 minutes to get her attention. After walking up and down the stairs for quite some time she gave that weird look from behind her glasses and asked me” I see, you have been walking up and down for quite some time. Shoot it!!”. With my enthusiasm running high I settle in a chair next to her “Amma you didn’t notice I bought a new Jeans”. She sheepily gazed at my jeans and nodded.”Well, I bought it from Levis” I continued with my conversation. And for people who know my mom the next question is quite obvious “How much ?”. I knew this awkward moment would come, but I seriously don’t like hiding anything from mom so, I tried to keep down my voice as much as I can and muttered ”3K +”. She nearly dropped her pen and looked at me with her brow crouched at a weird angle. She picked up the conversation minutes later and stared tapping her fingers in a rhythmic fashion on the table “don’t you think it’s little costly for a pair of saggy jeans”. There is no point arguing with her so, I nodded my head and sat through the whole lecture of how money is precious. Whole of the incident happened AFTER I was placed and earning. One week after, we went to a Saree boutique while I slouched on the chair waiting for my mom to finish her shopping. She picked up a saree and trusted the bill on to my hands. As I had a look at the bills my heart skipped a beat, 6K? And that too for a silly Saree one would wear to maximum 3-4 occasions per year? What happened to the whole cash is precious thing?. My jeans would definitely have a better lifespan that the saree. On our way back I bought up the conversation and this was my mom’s answer” Well Levis is costly but for a saree the money that I spent is clearly visible, anyone having a first glance at this would know it’s worth 5k but, your baggy jeans does it look like it cost you a bomb?. I was so angry that I kept my mouth shut and in yet another week’s time forgot all about it until last day when I went in to buy a shawl. I love my FabIndia shawls and after spending 1.9 k over a purple one I found that the shawl doesn’t exactly match with the shade of my top L. I was vaining and complaining the same to my fiancé and in between all the drama he put up the formidable question “Anyways how much did it cost you?. Max 300-400!! forget it”. I had this lump down my throat when I corrected his amount as 300*6. I could hear nothing but, silence from the other end and then a sudden explosion ”WHAT THE HELL!!!You spending so much over a silly shawl”. I couldn’t hold back my tears and burst off ”I am earning, and it I can’t enjoy a part of it then why should I even bother to work?”. Well, that gave Mr. MBA some management gyaan in HR.

I seriously don’t know why my parents hate branded stuff and still don’t mind spending double or triple for a local boutique stuff. Do we wear clothes to impress others or to feel good about ourselves?

Image courtesy:ZARA

I was always made to believe that love was blind. For me the theorem had a loophole somewhere and never had my money vouched for, I still had a doubt about my apprehensions ”What if it’s not true for the majority?”. There existed people around me who still believed in the age old wise talk. Some engagement pictures of a friend of mine proved that my doubting genes were all in place and working fine .Love isn’t blind, it has all the senses intact well, as a matter of fact it can see things most of us can’t, feel, hear and even smell better than a person who is not in love. Love as an entity is like a human, with presumably better senses .If not how can you explain the phenomenon of Love-Breakup-Just Friends? . After college the surprises kept on pouring, Facebook showed me changing facets of relationship as “status”. XXX engaged to ZZZ and I hold back my bewildered face for a moment and think then what about YYY? .The same YYY who refused to be away from XXX whole through the college life?. Everyone talked about how a perfect couple they were, even professors would agree on the same. They used to be inseparable with XXX keeping aside all her works so that YYY could submit his lab records, XXX constant visit to the classrooms to make sure YYY was properly eating!!!!. After college you see XXX’es status as engaged to ZZZ (Obviously a millionaire NRI hunk). Now I start wondering “what about good old love stories with happy endings?” .Few love stories have stood test of time and luckily mine falls in that rare category. 3 years and counting until WEDLOCK-DEADLOCK J. I couldn’t imagine myself loving someone and spending my whole life with someone else, for me my love was more about dreams that I weaved and for me to break a nest to build a castle was not acceptable. I wanted to share my aspirations, dreams and life with a single person so, I settled in for a guy whom my family would approve of. The guy turns out to be everything my family wants, everything I want and how lucky can I get?. My LOVE is going strong and the reason for it is “MY LOVE WAS WEARING A LONG SIGHTEDNESS SPECTACLES “.See, LOVE isn’t blind it’s just an opportunist.