I found this interesting entry in ma dairy.A reminder of how 2008 made ma brain work overnight.

I don't have anything against the men community and i do agree to ma guy friends that they are a misunderstood pack but, there are some exceptions.The ones that disgrace the very word "MALE".Yesterday,on our way back from temple me and mom decided to take short cut back home.Its not usual of me to accompany mom and that too to temple but, somehow i was with her walking through the dimly lit street.As we reached the main road to our house i noticed a man,talking over his mobile.You must be wondering"Why did i notice him in the first place?".With his high decibel conversation to not only the person on the other side of the line but, also to the entire region one could not help laughing at his typical Mallu stupidity.Its just a common sight in every small little village to see MALLU's ears glued to the headset tuning in the radio.This guy,obviously a show off was showing off his mobile.With least interest we walked past him.Suddenly,the guy started shouting" I there you need me.I busy,you busy but ,I lift".OOhhh even ma first standard cousin can speak better English than that and he expected me and mom to be impressed by his broken English?.When someone hurts the male ego,they back off until ,then its deliberate attempt to impress.Keeping that in mind i acted out as if I'm having a conversation with mom"I'm there if you need me mom.I'm busy nowadays so are you but, may be i can give you a lift someday". The guy,had his skin peeled of after hearing our conversation,may be he disappeared into thin air after this because, we haven't seen him after that incident.Guys think that they can impress girls with their flashy mobile or accented English but,Guys!!! 21st century girls aren't dumb enough to fall for those cheap tricks.

Sometimes i do think,why do the roadside romeos do have a problem with us walking down the street after 6 pm?.Why do they crowd around malls passing weird comments?,get into a crowded bus right through the front door?.How many guys can you find who opens up the door for you,offers you the ladies seat they have occupied?.The society is filled with male chauvinists,who think it their birth right to dictate over the female community after all, God created Adam first.What they need to know is without US the fellows will starve to death,their laundries will pile up,they will have to sleep in their own mess.Give us the respect we command.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BLOGGERS.

Image:cartoonstock

Iv earned every right to enjoy ma life in the way i want to.I'm not here to make up excuses for ma behaviour for, ma actions are justifiable.Things are going smooth without the regular ups and downs but, things are piling up on professional side.Labs are here,all set to ruin ma new year i have to put up ma bravest face and be wise enough to face the rapid fire rounds.

Trip to Trissur to ma friend Solo's home was total fun. The royal palace field trip was a trip to the past,it amused me as how people could survive without all the gadgets like Tv,washing machine and Laptop.We hit City centre mall,where me and Smi found escalator a fun ride.We were jumping up and down,while trying to figure out the mystery of elevators we gave people around some moments to laugh on.Staying in Cochin hasn't helped me a bit i realised. Back home a big feast awaited us ,i could stop eating only when i couldn't stuff in food any longer. The journey back and forth was fun,saddened by the fact that we couldn't take much pictures of the trip,me and Smi was trying our very best to capture our emotions in the bumpy and shaky bus still ,we managed to take enough to make other's jealous.We put a stop to our madness only when our near by seat got occupied.Was back home by 7 feeling all good,about the whole journey.

People, if you are not cool enough for others so be it.The definition may vary based on people and situations and whatever you have done to get that coolness may backfire some day.Be natural, be yourself and don't fake it out.There are people out there who can spot you out from so be it so, while being a part of the drama don't loose your identity.

Had a blast yesterday ,the details which i will fill in later.I'm just too lazy to type write now.The only reason why I'm filling up the gap is that i don't like the page to be blank.Each day is a memory and not filling up the blog for one day makes me feel that iv missed a chance to revisit ma life at some point.Without post, a day in ma life goes "BOOM",it just vanishes off record.

I'm sick of dirty politics .An engineer was beaten to death by an MLA in UP.The reason is the most hideous one i have ever heard in ma life,for refusing to pay 18 lakhs for Mayawathi's birthday bash.Exhorting money for celebrating a birthday?What difference do they have that separates the lawmakers from the bandits?.At least the bandits rob for feeding their hungry family.Its just too shameful as an individual to shout it out to the world that we have the largest democracy.Mayawathi's 1000 crore birthday bash won't fill empty stomach,won't create new job opportunities,won't help to reduce crime rates in UP.Its a an extravagance,the hunger to prove the money power.Imagine what the situation will be if she ever by luck becomes PM of India? may be her birthday will be declared a public holiday ,adding up another non working day into the already huge number of harthals and bandhs which are officially non working .I wish she never becomes PM but,this is India and anything can happen here.With half of the voters illiterate,vote bank may swing on surnames and caste/religion.In India anything is possible,the laws get changed even constitution to appease the masses, while rest of the less fortunate ones have to put up with almost anything from 49.5% reservations to terrorist attacks.

Most of the politicians spend half of their life time behind black cats,bullet proof vehicles and trips abroad.How the hell will they know anything related to an ordinary voter like you or me?.Here politics is not performance oriented,throw out those who don't step up,the ones who do not fulfill promises.Most of us either have a left or right orientation and progress card doesn't seem to be the criteria for bringing a government to power.Its quite complicated world of betrayals and make ups,your friends becomes foes and foes friends in a matter of 5 years and sometimes, i wish if ma one vote could make a difference.

Now we have people in power and they act as if they know everything in fact the truth is that they know nothing.Try dumping the waste in front of mayor's house then she will understand how difficult its to live in a smelly city like Cochin.Try making all these ministers pay for all the foreign trips they make for insane reasons then ,they will realise the real value of a tax payers money.The only thing governments do is to accuse the opposition and vice verse.Be it Athulay,who still holds the post of a minister after his ridiculous comments .He is the most unpopular character right now and the rulers are trying every trick up their sleeves to protect him just because he represents minority.I think,he doesn't understand the pain of families who lost their dear ones in the line of duty.He should loose one of his own blood to understand or may be he is too dumb to analyse the situation like everyone else do,someone better check his academic records[i bet he hasn't passed his exams].Pakistan needed an advocate and Minister gave them a perfect route to escape their wrong doings.Well,what do we do ?all you voters close your eyes and play Gandhi's 3 monkeys

Hear no evil.

Speak no evil.

See no evil.

Wish i was deaf,dumb and blind.

This post is all about 3 girls.The first one who is proud to represent the hopes of millions of Indians.The second and third who thinks being "Middle class " is so not it and who doesn't give a damn about the dreams of millions of people.

The first person on say in Miss World 1st runner up Parvathy Omanakuttan,who put an end to the crown drought after a gap of 5 years.She made us all proud with her confidence ,attitude and humility.She had no problem in acknowledging her background and her upbringing may be the reason why glued to the television sets,lakhs of Indians households cheered for her .In her introduction video she did come across to me as a girl proud to represent the heritage and culture of Indian soil. She may or may not be coached but, her eyes seemed warm and genuine.

On the other hand super bitches like Shambhavi and Anmol[Ex-Roadies 5.0] just make me wanna hate ma idiotic box so much that throwing it out seems the only perfect solution to escape from their BHAKWAS talk show G-Talk.I still remember the comment the no brainies made during one episode.

"Taking change from a cabie is so ...eeewww....so dirty and filthy,so sweaty his palms will be".

And what the hell do you expect miss beauty queens of someone who works his ass off to feed his family.Will he be dressed in Armani suit smelling D&G perfume?.Crap ,these two represent a class of spoilt generation which has so twisted attitude that clubbing and shopping seems the perfect solution to get over from the terrorist attacks.They are a shame to an entire generation which is branded "Vocal".Count the number of hate sites in their names and then you will realise how UN-Popular these girls are.

I hate people who insults any section of society and thrive on those insults to make them look cool.Fake accents,cultivated attitude ,million buck smile ,they represent just .0025% of total population who is ignorant of larger than life issues.Poverty,unemployment,politics do they relate to anything?like, Miss shambhavi who on being asked who the present Indian president is blurted out Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam's name.They are barbie dolls who are better off in their glass castles nothing better than that.

Shutting ones eyes to issues won't solve them instead, it aggravates and gives an opportunity for others to take advantage of one's ignorance.When one starts speaking on change and the corrupt system what they don't realise is that they themselves are the ones who have lead to such a condition.Changes don't happen in just a day it takes time,efforts and patience.If there are no one to plan and think about the future its, better to leave the issue to the ones who have taken care of the situation for a long time but, then you will loose you right to speak on CHANGE.

Am 21 and ma eyes are wide open even beyond ma boundaries.

I was never good at writing improvement .I was always blessed aplenty by ma university with more than expected marks.I never felt it as necessary to jump into the league of people who have taken improvement as a hobby or people who are never ever satisfied with their marks. I wrote ma last improvement in semester 3, for C programming as i felt injustice has been mended out.I wasn't as bad as the university marks projected me to be so, armed with determination i applied for improvement ...what i didn't know was, i will be running out on fuel after ma regular exams.Still, putting a brave face i wrote ma improvement and scored 15 marks more. I closed the chapter on improvement that day and taught ma self to be happy with what's in hand. There were occasions where i wanted to jump into the bandwagon but, i restrained ma self owing to past experience.This time even after scoring second highest score i chose to write the CST improvement"What hell!!!" people exclaimed .It wasn't going to change ma decision based on the moment's impulse.Let me burst the righteous code,ma decision was also based on the fact that, if most of the people now lagging behind me by 15-20 marks achieve their targeted score then ma mark for the last semester will be pointless and if i can bring about the same percentage increase in ma marks i will be scoring a match point.In hunger without even thinking about ma own attitude i decided to write in spite of ma brain telling me not to.The exam was held 7 days after the last regular exam, unexpected things cropped up and i was shuttling between places.Within days i was in lazers paradise eating and sleeping in random manner.Last semester i found CST a tough cookie to crack owing to the problematic approach,I'm good with problems but ,CST belonged to a special class called graphical problems.The question paper drew ma breath away,though i managed to get 3 problems fully correct and 2 problems half i wasn't satisfied.The extra papers i requested for hit an all time high of 11 ,lastly i had to cut so many single papers out for, i hadn't written anything in them.I was tensed and nauseous after being griped by the fear of 40-[Fail].As i walked out of the hall i met with gloomy faces all around.Most of them had written the paper even worse than me.I dumped ma text book in the back of the car vowing never to open it again.When the results came in me and ma girlfriend scored the highest but, there were 23 supplies in ma class, the highest in the whole college.

2 days before the exam ma best friend reminded me "to study",that's when it stuck me i had to get ma book back.I spent some quality time with Nicholas chart, bode plot ,root locus soon, i was slacking driven by nothing ,not the enthusiasm or the vigour .I knew the task of getting even 1 mark more was impossible.Filled with confusion i contacted some of ma very close friends to know their take on "Whether i should give the exam a miss".most people with a concern for the money i spend for applying asked me to give it a shot as i had nothing to loose.If i scored less than ma existing marks will stay else, the new one.I went to the exam hall yesterday to find it near empty .Most of ma mates backed out.The question paper was even worse than the first one.The only comforting part was the theory.This time too i got 3 questions right and 2 questions half right.The effect is same i suppose.Lets ,wait for the results

By the way I'm done with improvements.

To let someone know that they don't have a place in your life can be quite an affair.One can't bang on and speak out the truth on his/her face.The next thing one can do is to "AVOID".Avoid to a point where the other person feels that he/she is stuck in the wrong company.

In real life i had to put into action the above gruesome attitude once.This very person who clinged on to me for popularity,friends and ma NOTES!!!.I shooed her away from ma life the day i realised she was a parasite,thriving on ma life.I avoided her to the ground zero level i could lower ma self but,she acted as if it didn't matter to her for she was an innocent lamb.She succeeded in projecting herself as the victim in front of everyone.

The thing is, a third person will always feel that no matter whose mistake it is,it always due to the loud person.The innocent actors/actresses always escapes the spotlight and enters the Safe zone.She acted out as an innocent barbie doll spitting out venom from the corners and amazingly no one noticed except few.

After 6 months of issues suddenly, she came in to realise what a friend i was or may be not and decided to crash ma inbox with her stupid no-sense messages.Well, who cares as all her messages went straight to auto delete box from ma inbox.Yesterday, i was trapped with no place to hide as i was in conversation with another friend of mine.She was in her usual elements:ANNOYING and patiently i completed one sentence at a time for her queries.Then, she started her lecture on AE UNITED and friends for ever.OOOoooo.....i literally hit ma head on the table as i dozed of during the lecture.What else can i do?Hear her fake thanks giving speech?.Finally i asked" do you still think we are friends?" and as expected the million times re rehearsed script.I already gave her what she wanted,the queen bee title and all ma guy friends.I'm happy for not being happy for her as the farther I'm from her the better.I can't understand what does she want from me? please don't tell me its "forgiveness" I'm not that dumb to believe she does regret all what she has done.I'm left kingdom less, enjoying ma last few days as an ordinary person out of limelight.I don't have guys or fame in ma pocket to share then, why can't she leave me alone?.All brainless bimbos line up, you have a tough competition.Okay!!!i should stop insulting people or rather BIMBO'S through ma Blog.I'm not silly enough to jump into your smile and leave all the past behind.I hold them very near and to fake as if I'm really gonna miss ma class and ma mates after s8 is really irritating.Ooh!!! God, frankly I'm not gonna miss most of them may be few but, for the rest I'm more than happy not to cross paths ever again. Iv got sick and tired of politics and all the "AE UNITED " thing. We have arts and sports this semester.To hang on to the legacy created by our seniors is gonna be real tough.We bagged both arts and sports last time. I was actively involved but, none of ma mates were ,owing to their differences with seniors.Everyone sat one the side bench watching the fun and really questioning the efforts. This time, things are different as whatever you do , no one recognises your contributions and the front liners always gets to grab the headlines.Why work for people who treat you like scum bag?.I better shut ma mouth and do whatever assigned to me just because its a team and i don't want the team to be let down due to petty differences.

I MAY FORGIVE BUT, I WILL NEVER FORGET.

I have nothing to say.People ,please take care of your parents,love them,try to understand and respect their feelings.You may never get another chance, another life time to redo your actions.Your actions may leave a permanent scar,and you may have to live with that for your whole life.Many may wonder"How can a 21 year old give advice on lives most valuable lesson".Places,people all influence ma thought process.For the time being these are ma "RIGHTS".
Some people,just refuse to grow up and no matter what .We have to prepare ourselvesfor the worst.I was shocked to see the state of ma room today.Books were strewn,Cd's out of the shelf,Ma laptop used indiscriminately.Should i keep ma mouth shut?.To expect any action on behalf of ma parents seems a distant dream.Ma privacy has been invaded .I'm an individual and there are things that i don't expect people to do in ma absence,exactly those very things were done.I don't feel like going through yet another argument session.So,this one is for you jerk"Stay out of ma life".You are 4 years younger to me,i don't need your parenting tips.I know how to do things of ma own,i don't need a CID to look into ma secret world,I don't need a hacker to enter into ma accounts.
Everything for the past few days seems totally out of control.All i can do is to stay at a distance ,watching ma parents . I'm happy that they are supporting each other,during tough times.No accusing fingers, no arguments, no angry faces.I'm keeping ma cool,in spite of whatever that jerk has done.I don't wanna stretch it long for i got very little time.Until next time ,its Opal signing off.

Iv lots to post on.Saturday and Sunday turned out to be two hectic days,carrying out journeys to different places,meeting up with friends and family and filling ma self with ma favorite FOOD.

SATURDAY

The plan was to hit VOLVO RACE VILLAGE with ma parents .The one thing about ma family is, we never go out together.With hectic schedules its almost impossible,when the chance came in to visit Volvo village,that everyone was talking about i hoped on into the bandwagon.Ma brother followed the suite and with no other option of making us both stop repeating"We are the only unlucky ones left to see"Dad and mom reluctantly agreed.I was asked to meet up the family at Willingdon Island ,the place that shares most of ma memories.On ma way i was seated comfortably in the front seat.The lady just behind me was shouting it loud on her mobile,either she has a hearing problem or may be she wants all the passengers to hear her conversation whatever it is i fell into her trap.

Lady:We will meet up at Menaka,not Jetty.

Other side,A Guy(I think):No why can't you come to Jetty?

Lady:U say ,Why can't you come to the place where i ask you to?

Other side:Are you with some guy?

Lady:Now you accuse me of cheating on you?

She gives her mobile to her friend,takes it back

Heard?I'm with a girl.I wanted to see you so badly that's why i told you to meet me na?

The conversation is cut.After 5 minute

Lady:Its because of Mr.X we were friends in the first place.I will talk to him or even flirt with him whenever i want to.You rascal,Don't ever call me up or even try to reach me.

Conversation cut.Lady sobs.

Okay,now for some thoughts.How can anyone cut off from a relationship in a matter of 10 minutes?.Am not a relationship expert still, i believe that all relationships need to be held out with some respect.Its not something that you can throw away after use.

I reached Island and went straight to ma aunt's place.Ma mom showed up late as usual and we headed to the race village.Cochin is the only stopover in India and as cochinites its a proud moment for all of us.In its 35 years of history the race is coming to the Indian shores for the first time.2nd leg of the race saw some real action and Team ERRICSON made it to the Cochin soil first.The Cultural extravaganza for two weeks,Volvo Race was getting to people's nerves.The race covered half of newspaper's sport edition columns and each day people were flocking in large numbers just to experience the buzz.Kudos to PORT authorities for making this a memorable event . Its really hard to believe they changed the entire look of Island in just 3 months. We glided through all the stalls,browsing through items.Nothing was worth buying owing to the Sky rocket price,the exact price of the item was listed out by ma Dad,who was also a part of the race indirectly.We had our Reserved front row seats for the cultural fest for the evening.Music by NAVAL BAND ,band KALINGA and FASHION SHOW.He headed out by 9:30 and was back home by 11.

SUNDAY

The fun day began with the travel to Alapuzha for ma cousin's (Dad's sister's son) engagement.We reached there late,but early for the event.The whole family was there for the event and some of ma Mom's family too as, the girl is ma Mom's distant relative .I bond well with the family from maternal side so, i was happy seeing all those faces which genuinely seemed happy to see me there.I was welcomed with raised eyebrows and awful stares and wearing a jeans was never this humiliating.Stuck in the company of people above the age of 35+,it makes me feel kind of old too.I was struggling to make a conversation, ma only cousin sister was busy with her baby ,that practically left me killing flys to kill boredom.After the ceremony we went too see the KAYAL,only too see the greens covering it.Frankly,there was not even little blue to be seen.Came back ,had sadhya and as a formality took pictures with a relatives and headed back home.

At about 6 pm, something hit me hard.I haven't started preparations for ma FUZZY ENGINEERING module.I have just two days to ma University exam and being the highest scorer there is a lot of pressure on me to perform well for this elective subject.A random thought.I'm confused about Human behaviour and thoughts that doesn't seems to make sense.Who are real and who are faking?.What people need is someone to help them out and when people need you they treat you like a queen.Only 3 girls are there for this elective and the guys desperately need some help.They treat you like dirt and expects you to buy their affection just like that.I don't think i will entertain any of their pleads to come to college to teach.Not, that i don't like teaching people,i would love to help out but, not those who show attitude.May be i won't bag the little of MIss.Popular it doesn't matter,may be people will interpret it as ma attempts to score maximum without letting anyone else do.I don't care seriously, for I'm way past the level of thinking that people are genuine and warm.Everyone has their own agenda.Don't even try to make me a part of yours for, I'm least interested.

Ma parents don't approve to some of ma self made theories,mostly the ones related to religion and GOD.There exists an ideological clash between the two generation in this regard.Both of ma parents are highly pious, they never miss their daily schedule of visiting temples,they have a piece of advice for me every time ,they see me lazing around"Go to Temple".I don't approve of their point as for me God exists everywhere,and just a moment of prayer,or a silent thanks is more than enough for divine blessings.Am not an atheist as I believe in the supreme power,the unknown force that drives the universe.Science alone can't satisfy our curious minds,there needs to be something beyond the explainable,mysterious intervention for us to place our trust and move on.Whenever something goes wrong, the first name that comes out of our mind is "oh GOD".Its that we trust that the divine intervention will somehow make all the difference and will bring out a better tomorrow.After all its hopes and dreams that keeps us alive.

Iv always wondered "Why people find it so important to visit temples?",i think i have finally found ma answer.Last day on being forced to temple,i was taking ma Pradikshnams when someone called out ma name,to ma surprise it was ma classmate out of nowhere i asked"You here?".Next sentence was a humiliating one"I come here everyday.You here?".He just hit me for a sixer,this classmate of mine is from Trissur.He stays in the hostel but, he travels 35 minutes everyday to ma place just to visit temple whereas for ma self,the temple is not even 5 minutes walk from ma home and all i do is to laze around.Ma mother ,totally impressed by this guy said"Opal visits temple, when its her birthday,or when there is a festival".That makes me wanna tell something,a regret may be .I couldn't attend the temple festival this time,every morning i would get up of ma bed and say out loud"evening ,i will" something comes up at the exact time and this time i didn't even attend one day of the festival.I think iv to do a lot of talking and ask for forgetfulness to see ma Deity smile again.

Yesterday,i visited the Eranakulam Siva temple not, the usual practise for me as i substituted for ma brother who is having pre-boards.When i reached the temple,it was almost empty except for the"Om nama sivaya "chant that filled the surrounding.The atmosphere was so calm and peaceful that i wished if i could stay looking at the Deity for few more hours.The flickering lamps and the odour of sandalwood filled the atmosphere.It all , forced some random thoughts "The reason why people visit temples".I think from ma daily see that temple is a sanctuary where one get the perfect atmosphere to think,to repent for ones mistakes.The atmosphere soothes,calms and brings out the positive energy in a person.God is one person,who listens to all our sorrows,pains ,sufferings and we expect reassurance in form of smile(my Divine sign) or some other gestures.I communicate,talk, to the divine deity before me and every time i seem to get an answer.When i pray beyond the walls of temple boundaries,i pray for ma self,a one way communication,ma needs,ma issues.It doesn't give the same sense of security or warmth as it does for the temple.

I have had ma share of interventions or as you call it "the divine calls".I have experienced it in random manner.One such moment i would like to share. It was one of those special days in CHOTTANIKARA BHAGAVATHY TEMPLE",the one in which long ques stretched even outside the temple premises.After one hour in scorching sun,when we reached on to the temple nada,it closed for pooja.I stood there,beginning to feel dizzy and nauseous.Finally ,when it came unbearable i closed ma eyes and prayed"I came all this way just to see you,and if nada doesn't open now,i may faint.Please,i just want one glimpse".As i opened ma eyes after ma prayer,the nada opened and i felt goddess was smiling on me,telling me not to worry.That moment, i still remember,i couldn't hold back ma tears.After, that incident i became a staunch believer of Devi,there are many more stories i would like to share associated with the same temple.Most of the time ,SHE bails me out ,helps me,advises me.This is one temple i would recommend to all you people.

Ma uncle,(mother's brother) was the black sheep of family and as most of ma relatives would say"just like me".He was a person on the harder end questioning the very existence of GOD.Years have passed,he is 37 now and every time i visit his house he takes me to VAIKOM MAHADEVA KSHETHRAM".He never misses his daily walk to the temple.He has changed a lot from his younger days,there is more order and responsibility in his life now.

The thing is as children or as teenagers we tend to question everything that needs to be feared,parents teachers,GOD .When age catches up,we have nowhere to turn to except for "GOD".May be i will understand the real meaning of worship and the ultimate power one day.These are some of ma thoughts and some of you may not agree with me viewpoint.Each one of us have different views on this topic and our experiences my vary.

Things have been piling up,getting clogged to a point where i can't seem to find solutions to ma problems.I was placed in one of leading multinationals this march, as software developer.Though am completely alien to this software thing, i decided to stick on until newer pastures opened up.Everything went wrong in the past few weeks,with recession hitting all IT companies hard,companies are handing out pink slips to professionals.I haven't received ma offer letter yet and rumours floating about the supposed to be sent apology letter by some MNC to the college really makes ma future look bleak.The recession had to wait until 2008 to hit the markets hard?So bad of you mr.!!!!.The going gets tough when one is being taken care by successful parents.Both ma parents are successful in their careers,earning hard cash.I have nothing to worry as ma brother puts in"As long as our parents are rich ,you don't have to worry .Just sit here ,enjoy and after 3 or 4 years get stuck in some kitchen".How rude of him,until today i haven't heard ma brother talking highly of women.For him it all about cooking and cleaning , i wonder how his future wife will react to his comments.It no pressure from home as i have still one more semester to go.Ma mom has her plan B ready for me,urging me to go in for higher studies or may be as lecturer in some college.I know am good in ma core field of instrumentation but,the stream has very few openings for girls.Petrochemical industry supplements the instrumentation fraternity and the good thing is that recession hasn't affected much though crude oil prices have been hit.

Now for the real drama yesterday, ma mom came in with a newspaper,it had news about openings in national banks .I went through and found it interesting so, i told mom that i will be giving it a try.As ma mom showed it to dad he objected"4 years of engineering to become clerk in some bank?.No!!!".It didn't matter to me whether it was a white collar job or not as long as its a JOB.Even for clerical posts,Banks offer the same salary as that of what is received by an engineer in an MNC and also,the work timings will be far flexible.I don't mind working under people who are far less qualified than I'm.I doesn't hurt ma ego and i consider those as opportunities to learn,grasp and understand.For,dad it doesn't seem to strike a bell for him its all about status and recognition.Have to agree to ma mom's long vision even after ,so many protests she supported me and I'm planning to apply for the job which requires only 12th class pass as educational qualification.

Ma chat window beeped and after a long conversation i said"I'm planning to apply for the clerical job in 2 national banks". The immediate response was" Engineering and this?.Ma verdict is NO!!!".I was let down"Support me if you can,i won't embarrass you in front of people".Finally a smiley beeped on to ma screen"As you wish".

Now people,every job has its own value.Wonder why we have so many unemployed educated youths in our country?.They are people who believe they are nothing short of white collar jobs.They sit idle waiting for that tie and suit job to run into their laps.Their prayers are not granted as God only helps those who helps themselves.Every job commands respect not that ,an engineer ought to be a programmer only.Unless and otherwise this mentality doesn't change our country wont be able to fulfil"VISION 2020"

A CUP OF TEA



Yesterday, i acted out the part of "MISS.PERFECT",it was an attempt from ma side to mend things between me and mom.Have to accept that ma mom is an awesome cook,and i don't mind gulping down whatever she prepares in kitchen for me .The one thing that eludes ma mom's 22 years experience in kitchen is the "ART OF TEA MAKING".The tea always ends up either too strong or too weak,comes in her daughter(that's ME),who herself was tagged "TEA QUEEN" by her mates for being the biggest contributor to the college coffee shop.People say the shop survives on her cash alone.On a bad day i end up having 9-10 cups of tea much to the nonacceptance of people around.I love perfectly made tea and can walk any distance to achieve that level of perfection.The special ability of making Good tea comes at a bad cost,to be the official tea maker of the house.Every time Dad's friends ,relatives come visiting ma Mom gives one of her look trying to converse through her eyes which actually means"OFF TO KITCHEN".Unlike most families we have our tea by 7-8pm,that's when Dad comes home from office.The first thing that he enquires is"WHERE IS MA TEA?"(now you know where i inherited ma genes from).

Last day it was ma ON DUTY time in kitchen and i filled three glasses with tea ,one for Dad,one for myself and ma BITS maniac Bro.Mom was busy draping herself in the Saree to attend the temple festival,as three of us were sitting on the couch sipping our hot tea mom comes in with a smirk on her lips"where is ma tea" .That's when i thought i had prepared just 3 glasses of tea, and it wasn't something that i did out of blue that day.Three cups are a part of the prevailing rules as far as i can remember.The thing that made all the difference was ,three of us forgot to ask her if she wanted any.Usually ,ma mom skips her tea for, she is not a great fan of the brown liquid and taking it as granted i didn't bother to ask if she needed any .I glanced at the seats besides me"It was empty".Dad and Bro had escaped leaving me there to defend ma self."I thought...." i continued."You could have asked,I'm the person who takes care of you people,preparing all that you ask for.Should have asked me whether i needed tea or not".Mothers get very sentimental whenever their daughters behave in a way that they are not expected to be.Knowing what i did was wrong, i had to keep ma mouth shut.Tears were rolling down her eyes and i couldn't say anything.I stood there looking on to her eyes.I should have asked her in the first place.I had to get thing right and yesterday was ma chance.Without being forced into the kitchen i went in and ma mom was surprised to see hot cup of coffee waiting for her on her return from the tiring day in the hospital.I just had one thing to say

"SORRY MOM"

Some people in our lives deserves the best,the very best . The tide of life may take them to places unknown but, deep down inside we wish them the very best.I'm happy for ,i get to see ma sister smile again. To see those dark eyes shine,the very one which was filled with tears that day in the corridor is ma prayers answered.She is not meant to be an ordinary person ,God has greater things planned for her,she is destined to make it BIG. Yesterday turned out to be one jolly day with little things that meant a lot.Its life anyways and each one of us should be prepared for the unexpected.Now, for some random thoughts.....

Wonder years,the years of growing up,self discoveries, trials, jubilation, triumphs,downfalls......I'm still growing out of ma shell.It seems hard to do things on ma own,to watch things which calls for a response but,have to zip in and sit as if things around doesn't matter me at all,to do things i want to but,moral codes and conduct have to be followed by Daddy's little girl.Tomorrow i may die, and no one will even know am gone from the surface of the earth. To be happy trying to defend your dreams or to be happy for ,the people around.Which one is worth a fight?I'm not sure nor will i have a chance to experience life in its full form.Bungee jumping,vacation abroad,first salary,living the dreams that puts me to sleep every night.Its crazy to make this random talk but,its ma thoughts in crude form.As Gov says,you speak the absolute truth when you are angry and frustrated.I'm frustrated and this what's being held up in ma heart for quite a long time.I know, this post will create some ripples and probably, i will end up hearing the same stuff over"you are childish".I don't care...I'm sick and tired of proving them wrong.Believe what you want to,make up stories about me,paint me all wrong.I'm past the age of taking "REVENGE".I will forgive all you people for whatever you have done with ma life but, i will never forget.The nights i cried alone,the days when i sat talking to desks and benches,the noons when i wished if i could just disappear.....Things have changed for good or for bad,i have little rays of hopes in ma life,handing me the handkerchief,someone to talk to,giving me the invisibility clock.Thank yo guys for all your love and support.

I'm no saint.Iv also broken many hearts.Ma persistent alter ego,that refused to open up ,driving people to edge.Right words that abandoned me at times ,hurting the person on the other side,ma doubts and insecurities that nourished the little devils deep inside.I repent,if i could just go back and change.Wish if i had a time machine,i could make it all right.The perfect life that i always read about.

Ma college life is coming to an end and i believe i have still lot to learn,lot to achieve,lot to think,lot to write,lot to laugh on,lot to cry about,lots and lots.........