Practical thinking is fast disappearing from ma blog.Now it seems like one of a 15 year olds childhood fantasies.Am i loosing ma identity?.Sounds like that.Its a turmoil of so many mixed emotions.Its like enjoying what you do and ending up doubting yourself later.There is a clash between the RIGHTs and WRONGs and i want both of them to win.How can a 20 year old have identity crisis that sounds so weird.Well,by each passing day I'm going down under the blanket trying to prove to ma self that i can't be wrong or may be hide facts and dumb them as fiction for, i don't have enough courage to face the truth.So the question is :am i wrong?.Am i reasonable enough to start learning to enjoy life and respect what life has in store for me.Am i right in crossing over to the grey side?.The questionnaire seems like a never ending one, putting ma patience to the test.Sometimes it feels like being handcuffed .The crisis was set on motion by the recent twists and turns and unexpected events.I act strange or even stranger shunning ma self from ma inner self for, ma inner self is far more righteous than what i expected it to be.Never did i think,never did i gave ma self a chance to explain instead i went on to prove the world wrong ,let ma heart overpower.I say with regret that never allow your heart to make decisions for you because heart is ridden by an impulse ,the momentary pleasure but ,the brain lets you think,not only the presents implications but ,for the future as well.I know to people who ever it may concern,will be devastated but, Its like cheating ma self.When i say "i need more time" not because iv been dishonest but,to stabilise ma emotional quotient .I really want to come back after a full circle but i want to set ma self free from duties and tags as of now.Ma life is revolting against ME,threatening to change its course if i don't act fast.I know or more precisely don't know where life is taking me.I want ma rights and wrongs to be accepted by people around ,i really want.This will either drive me to edge derailing ma life for ever or even put me out making me wither under the sun.Whatever it is it will take ma life And as for the girly stuff on the blog its just a route towards escapism to prove to the world "AFTER ALL I'M A GAL"
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