Bye bye 2013

I have really hated the number 13, and 2013 was not any better. The year was a stark contrast to 2012, which by the way was an awesome year. On reflecting through the year 2013, I found nothing spectacular to be worth mentioning.
Speaking of resolutions, I didn't do much better in that department either, so for the coming year I am just going to keep it simple:

• Eat healthy
• Drink lot of water
• Exercise
• Save money

That's it!!!

Year that was:

Highlights

• Went to Goa for the first time
• Booked a flat
• Lost weight
• Some notable achievements at work
• Few, but amazing friends

Lowlights

• Husband moved to a different city
• Lost my first pet dog
• More bickering and fights = more tears
• No savings and poorer me
• Frustrated

What to look forward to:

• Setting up OUR house
• Find a solution to separation
• Spending more time with my brother
  
  

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

Happy NEW YEAR guys.

Sarcasm over-loaded

You must have probably missed my rantings, or may be not. These past three months have been an eye opener of sorts, the learning through your experience which never made sense during my dad's lecture sessions makes whole lotta sense today. Now that I see the universe conspiring against my happiness, keep calm and bitch on !!!

• You are your best friend and your worst enemy.
• When you think you have got your life all figured out, it throws curveballs at you. Well, may be those are boulders.
• Do yourself a favor, when lonely buy yourself a fashion magazine.
• Always believe tomorrow is going to be a good day.
• Its good that you don't have to pay taxes for your good/happy dreams.
• I am a girl and I have every right to change my mood like a chameleon.
• I am not fat, God created me in XL as God believes in the caption 'BIGGER THE BETTER'.
• Forget it, I don't want to push this argument to the other extend cause, either way RIGHT is where I stand.
• Move on man, only if it was not an add caption.
• Its not your life or my life, it's our life. Well, the same rule doesn't apply for money honey.
• Enjoy the retail therapy while it lasts. It's as good as the walk past the next store.

Yada yada yada, I am not .01 % sarcastic in real life, sorry that I cannot even defend myself against guys who call me FAT!!. One day boys...one day..

Little things you do for me

The little things you do for me.. n nobody else make me feel good.... little things you do for me... making me smile n no one else could...! that's why i like to sit next to you...., and hear your mad stories, i know they're not true.. and i like that we share a secret or two ......together....! little things you do for me.. -

Sing along people, this jingle from a Vodafone ad is what inspired this post of mine. Post marriage, my life was thrown upside down. I was used to the "served on your plate-don't darn care how "attitude and I struggled under huge pile of responsibilities. I had a whole house to manage after office and that realization took a toll on me. I was heard complaining and sometimes shedding a tear or two, accusing my husband of being non-cooperative. While I toiled hard in the kitchen to churn out a new dish, he simply sat on the bean bag enjoying Arnab's stupid nonsensical debate. I was used to seeing my dad helping my mom out in kitchen, but here I was taking care of a child-man. After a point in time, I stopped complaining, but made a point to appreciate myself on gatherings of friend's and family of my ability to run the house singlehandedly. I was THE SUPERWOMAN!!!

Roll forward to the present, with all the drama of shifting and packing in my life, my brother came to stay along for couple of weeks. Weeks of companionship for me and torture for him. Did I mention that he is an awesome cook? (Lucky his wife). Well, I get to relish his handmade samosa and vada every evening, but the good part ends right there. He leaves the kitchen A WARZONE!!!with peeled vegetables carelessly thrown everywhere to a I-Don't-Know-what-to-call-it condition of dining table. I would have spend much time to cook all these items than clean up later. The room in which he stays is far worse than a pig coop now, with wet towels rolled in shape of a football, his sheets crumbled to the sides...aah..nightmare at it's best. Well it set me thinking...my husband though has border OCD, he never messes up the room, he likes everything in place just like I do and that my friends was one aspect I didn't boss when my husband was around. His borderline OCD, eased things out for me, I never had to run looking for my shoes or the comb cause I was sure that it wouldn't move from it's place. Well G, I miss your OCD.

Laundry!!!never knew it existed up until now. For the past one year fairy god mother kept on filling my wardrobe with fresh clothes to wear each day, the laundry bag was a namesake and the clothes smelled like fresh daisies, no really it's the fabric conditioner :D. Well, it took me a move and shift to realise that the fairy god mother was indeed my husband :(. Now, even the second laundry bag is over-flowing and I really don't have much space to buy the third one, so I swung into action, decided to do laundry myself. One slight problem though!!has the red kurtha has a tendency to loose the color?. Can I put the white one with the purple one, which mode should I put in??aagh the hundred million dollar questions. Each time I am stuck I have to give a ring to Cochin to get my answers. Well G, I miss your laundry man skills.

The maid opens her mouth only for two thing, either to complain, or two ask for the payment due. Well, lately she has been loving the former and I feel pushed to one corner, neither can she understand what I am trying to say nor can I decipher her mother tongue  My hero, though could easily converse with the maid with a mix of hindi-kannada-tamil-and malayalam all thrown together as a kichdi. I leave our flat by 8 and husband who leaves by 9 used to take care of handling the maid and her tantrums. With my weakness exposed, the maid is taking full advantage of my situation and pretend that she doesn't understand even the sign language I try for her amusement. Well G, I miss your people management skills :(.

So friends, I have reached the end of this post and have some valuable life lessons to share. To those of you who think that you do the whole housework, no!!!it's always the small things that matters, small gestures, and marriage my friends is always an effort put in by two people to make things work for  a lifetime.

US

There is this itching desire to write, not that I have any thoughts troubling me, but this month is really special. I missed out on penning down my feelings last year. I will be completing 1 year of wifehood this coming Saturday. There are scores of people asking me how the ride has been!!!All I can say is Fantabulous with bumpy ‘s’.

I am loved to bits, and every time I look into his eyes, all I see is my image gleaming through his eyes. The short trips, the early morning call for perfect chai, empty laundry bags, laughing over silly things, simple compliments, jamming the door hard, and sharing similar stance over issues….life has given me lot of precious moments over the past 1 year.

I am not sure, if it happens with any husband-wife duo, but we crave for same kind of food, we talk about the same thing at same instant, we share similar views and ideas, he is becoming more like me and I more like him. We keep each other grounded, being polar opposites that we are; there is this one thing that binds us deep down: Desire to be loved.

As I stepped into the shoes of wife, I found it really hard as my husband was spoilt rotten. He would laze around while I toiled in the kitchen. I could hardly keep my tears locked and often I was heard complaining to my parents. Soon, things changed and I could manage my kitchen and cooking with minimum help from mister and he started hanging around the kitchen more. Surprisingly, even after a four year courtship, it was only after marriage and living-in I realized what a cleanliness freak he was.  Now, don’t assume my life is full of misery. The above are few rainy instances. I am not easy myself, with bouts of emotional aatyachaar; I am one hell of a person to handle. This guy can hold me tight and ask me to shut my mouth without offending me. He gives me the strength to move on in life, to accept the way I am, gives me the security I crave. 

This to you G, for US, for the incredible love story and lives we share.

THE BIG NEWS

The big news you all were dying to hear, ok let's not stretch it any further: My husband is moving to Cochin on a 2 year stint. He will be staying at his home in Cochin. What about me you ask?, ok!!!I will stay back in Bangalore, probably move to a PG.

Its a decision we took together, I had recently joined this amazing company that gives me an opportunity to shine at my work every single day and husby was so frustrated with his previous job that he was ready to grab in any offer that came his way, and an offer that couldn't be refused it was.

I am quite unsure about how the long distance relation would work out. We had survived a 5 year of 'is par ya us par' and after 1 year of marriage, there misfortune strikes again.

I was quite clear I was not ready to move out of Bangalore owing to many reasons, one being the job other being independence.  We were in the process of building a cozy lil place for ourself here in Bangalore and Bam!!! all my dreams came crashing by. Life is going to be really difficult, I used to look forward towards cooking for my husby every evening, used to feel proud when he used to relish my cooking, the mad fun, umpteen seasons of sitcoms left to watch...I can write books on what I will miss..with a barely existent job opportunities in Cochin, a move move means premature death of my career. I have this bad tendency to blame people for my ill luck and I am pretty sure, sitting at home without a job would increase my frustration which would inturn lead to you-me-you blame game. Husby's offer was really something I couldn't deny him  of, he deserves his own shining moment too and I wouldn;t be the person to snatch that away from him.

I feel, when we used to be apart in different cities we used to fight more. With proximity came peace and we rarely fight nowadays...I don't know how long this temporary arrangement is gonna work out, but for the time being we have decided to travel to and fro to make our marriage work.

Life as you know it!!

I was hurt, why wouldn't I be?. I am not a robot to pretend like I am not hurt. After days of planning, me and my GFs decided to take a day off from our busy schedule and unwind in a resort close to Bangalore. There is something I need you guys to know before I start my ranting: I am the only married girl in the group of four. So, when I put this topic for discussion my hubby happily agreed, even he felt I needed a break from the usual routine. We girls left for the resort on Saturday evening, after a whale of a time returned back on Sunday afternoon. In between I had received few calls from my dad, which I didn't respond to. On Sunday afternoon, husband informs that dad had asked him where I was. Oh by the way my parents had no fucking clue I had gone out with my GFs. My husband carefully avoided the question by saying I was with friends, well he skipped the overnight-tent-camping-girls-alone statement out . 

I for one, doesn't want to be dishonest with my parents so, I casually mentioned it to my dad that I had a night out and comes the weirdest reply from him 

Dad: What you did is wrong
Me: Why?
Dad: You shouldn't have let your husband and gone off like that 
Me: Dad, he is not a kid, he can take care of himself. I went to a resort , with proper safety and with my bunch of girls
Dad: Who else is married from the group
Me: None
Dad: See, married girls don't go for night outs, they stay at home with their husbands
Me: My life dad, what is the big deal, my husband is perfectly ok with the whole thing then why do you guys bother
Dad: what will your in-laws think?. Is this the way we brought you up?
Me: for the last 24 years, I lived by your rules dad, I have never boozed or partied cause I didn't want to disappoint you, but then Im 25 now I can take my own decisions

By this time my husband realized the conversation was going out of control, he snatched the phone from me and ended the conversation.

This is when I realized something:  I used to take pride in the fact that my parents were unlike any others: They were cooler, accepting parents. Now, if you think a lil hard you will understand that they were not, they were like any other parents...only thing is I always sacrificed my teenage dreams for em, I studied my ass off, got a job, didn't let my mind stray...I never gave em a reason to be unhappy. 

After marriage my actions are more weighed by my dad and mom and eventually everything boils down to what my in-laws think. I can never forget that tight slap from my mom last time I visited home (post marriage) Wanna care to hear the reason?. I was having bad contractions and kept on crying for seeing a doctor. My mom however blandly refused to take me to a doctor and the reason she gave was "what will my in-laws think if I was taken to a doc for such silly things". I cried and cried and finally the bodily pain was erased off by the tight slap my mom placed on my cheeks. More than the pain inflicted on my body it was a sense of disappointment,  a feeling of being let down by your own parents for what??? To please people who doesn't even know the pain I go through each month.

At some point all the parents want for their girl child is an approval from the in-laws. But, why???I  need to please no one but myself for whatever actions I perform in my life. I have a life ahead which I am not willing to sacrifice just cause I am married. I am not willing to give up doing anything cause I am married. Marriage is an union of like minded partners who treat each other with respect and as an individual. I am lucky to have someone like this in my life. Thanks G, but then it's also upto the parents to trust me in making my own decisions ....not out of pressure. I may stumble and fall, watch me grow not proon me to be like how you want the world to perceive me.

More rambling coming your way cause there are some life changing decisions to be made in the coming days. Stay tuned!!

Just Do It

My daily conversation goes something like this

ME: I am becoming fat
Devi: MMMMM...No (I love her for lying)
Me: What do you think I should do, all the while munching my high calorie samosa
Devi: Eat moderate, exercise
Me: ok (making a mental note to my self), but I don't have time....

Next day
Me: I am becoming fat .....and goes the conversation

Yes, every freaking day I make a mental resolution to move my rusted ass off the chair and work out, eat in moderation and then that's all I do, keeping the resolution in mind. I largely point my fingers at the time or the lack of it for my increasing waistline. I get up at 7:20, prepare tea, do house errands and leave for office at 8:15, so in this small time window I hardly have any time for shaking up my fat cells. Evening after I reach back by 7:40...off to kitchen to prepare dinner. By 9 I am done and after bathing and having food my body gives up and all I wanna do is just sleep.

Eating in moderation is another big joke. When I was in Cochin, my dad and mom were strictly against stocking junk food of any form. My occasional junk pangs were satisfied by once a month access to bakery items and once a blue moon outing to restaurant. Things come really cheap after marriage, cause my husband loves his junk food ( He doesn't get Fat though, with a marketing and sales on the run job who gains weight!!). We always have either cakes or chocolates or icecream in our fridge and week long cooking drives me nut and by end of the week, we just take out all the frustration on food, by going in to a fine dining restaurant. It's junk once a week.

I am writing this post to make myself feel ashamed of my lack of willpower and the ever hungry brain taking control over the body. One scoop of icecream will lead to second or third serving because,  I always have the next beautiful day to start with my resolution. I'm frustrated cause I'm tired of convincing myself that I can do it the next day. I'm tired of convincing that I will go for a walk cause for me sleep is more important than health. I'm frustrated cause I complain and crib though it's purely my failure or inability to be what I want to be.

Mistakes

Im committing the exact same mistakes as my parents. High hopes, push-pull, dejection, setting expectations....and I am no more different than them. I want him to be all that I never could be, and the selfish witch in me is pushing the guy to live my dream. If you can't seem to make sense of my ramblings, good enough....