NO-N-SENSE

Blogger, How would I have survived without you?. My heart is for the moment brimming with sadness and it feels good to believe that on opposite side of this screen sits an invisible man, with a warm hand assuring me that everything is going to be just fine. I stand with no regrets what so ever. I live in a world with rules created by me, for  my convenience.Today I sit slouching on the chair, unaware of the damage my heated conversation has done . I have no one to speak to, to shout at, to laugh with and the words are trailing off. I don't approve of presenting myself in  a vulnerable spot in front of a mass audience  still, as I find myself in a difficult spot I can do nothing but turn on my system and type away. May be the words are an added burden, not something you would want to read. Why would anyone waste their time reading something confusing and depressing still if you do, please pray for me, my dreams, my life. Things are rapidly spinning out of control and what I wished is not my present.It's stupid to wish for things far stretched but, what I wished was not rocket science but, a simple life with 0 complications.

I hate you (Like I love you)

My relationship with rain can be better summed up by the song from Delhi Belli. Just few days before You saw me marveling the beauty of rain from the INDOORS here, but today I am singing all together a different song. Its been raining continuously for 6 months now and I have this AAAW (Term coined by G's mates in B-school) feeling whenever I see sun shining through the clouds.

On a holiday, watching rain through the window with a mug of tea in your hand. Well, that's love.

On a working day, when you find your formal wear damp n wet .Well, that's hate.

On a hot summery day, as you take out the tissue to wipe off excess sweat wishing if it rained.Well, that's love.

On a rainy day, when your brother refuses to leave you to office .Well,that's hate.

On a suppose to be dull day, you get drenched in rain and watch the nature  in the after rain glow. Well, that's love.

On a damp day,when your co-passengers scream at you for not properly holding your umbrella .Well, that's hate.

I have million reasons to Love-Hate RAIN. 

On a completely random note, I can't see past the word cute. Anything cute steals my heart be it kids, pretty hairbands or cheeky romantic films. I have been constantly telling myself (Or rather societal pressure) to grow up, to accept the fact that I am no more 16-17. I know there is no connection what so ever between my likeness for cute things and my general attitude towards life. But people expect me to act my age, take up things that suits my age, dress up like a 23 year old. I doubt, I mean why do I have to grow up, fill my heart with age serum, let my body think I am old. I am not and I simply refuse to believes so. I am from the temple of belief that once you let you heart grow old, the body will automatically follow and then there is no stopping the grey hairs and growing stress lines. Let me celebrate the child in me, live my life stress free, enjoy every second what GOD has gifted. Random thoughts, random musings, random ideas.

Must be wondering about the source of inspiration right?. Presenting to you one of my latest buys.I am not denying the fact that they are CUTE.

Fighting for Dreams

I knew my brother was home, he usually drops in when his laundry bags are full and has no more strength to hold his stinky clothes. He stays at a home away from home a.k.a HOSTEL. I rang him up and 'requested' him to pick me up from office. Its easy to manipulate him, especially when bike and long drives are involved. The only downfall to this arrangement is the occasional pitstops he would make at his favorite eateries. He agreed(Good for me) and in 20 minutes we were off on the bike. The guy looked upset and I instantly matched his uneasiness to the robotics competition he participated early morning that day. This time, it was not just his laundry that forced him to come home but, a robo wars competition in a near by college. If there is anything that my lousy brother and his alpha male gang is passionate about that's gotta be ROBOTICS. I know the kind of efforts they had put in, the late night chats is a testimonial to the statement.He rings me up at odd hours cause he had soldering to finish and he wants to distract his mind from the drowziness that was trying to take control of his eyes. We would have long pointless talks and after 1 hours or so, he would warn me that I shouldn't be keeping awake late and off he goes to his own world. Mom and dad never understood his obsession and his frequent dipping attendance.For them anything outside academics had to be dealt with after college hours. I knew what he was upto .During all those missed class hours, he would be out there fighting for his dreams, battling for supremacy with his robos in robowars competitions. The guys would miss their lunch so that they can save their pocket money for the best component available. And being his sister it was quite an obvious question to ask"How was the competition,?"I tried to shout it out loud, the wind wouldn't allow my voice to reach his distracted ears."Well, we reached until semis, couldn't beat the other guys cause they had Bosch motors.Our motors didn't even stand a chance to begin with" he replied. "Why didn't you buy Bosch motor then" I asked."We don't have cash!!!" aah a hard hit on my back."MONEY!!!"it's easier for an employed person like me to think of money as just another element in my life but, for a student like him with limited resources...money was indeed precious, especially when you have to give penny-wise account of parent's money ( pocket money) spent."We are not competing again, we are short of cash"he added with a slight hint of despair in his voice. Sacrificed meals, extra efforts in terms of taking tutions, travelling by local class tickets these guy did whatever they could, for their dream to shape into reality . I could say nothing, just think of my good old times when learning was limited to the exam syllabus, funds were never short of only ideas lacked punch(I studied in a posh self financing college, whereas my brother is a student of a prestigious Govt college). Life was easy for us, teachers always used to spoon feed us, train us to fetch ranks, there was no freedom of speech, there were no free periods. The college boasted of 100 % placements in the paper to attract prospective students. I am not against my alma matter but, the point I want to make is:Things were easy, perfect infact too perfect for us but, for these highly talented engineers of tomorrow everyday is a struggle:strikes,no classes,no teachers, no funds still majority comes back fighting bagging core jobs earning 13-14 lakhs per year in the initial phase of their life. What makes me respect them is their vigor to learn and to apply the same . I promised my brother funds for making their dream come true, some small help that I can extend from within my limits. The money I waste on shopping is more than enough to makes these kids happy.These kids are the future of tomorrow and their dreams should not die a premature death cause of shortage of cash. You and me wouldn't be sitting and blogging if not for the trust Mr. Andy Bechtolsheim, co-founder of Sun Microsystems had on Larry Page and Sergey Brin, developers of GOOGLE .