BREAKDOWN REGION.......
Give me a break!!!!.....shoo....LIFE......you come in full circle don't you....right now im sandwiched between yet another P-N-P junction...can't move in either way...trapped in a one way.....conjested....tired....n stretched to the breaking point.....i try to be as flexible as possible ...still its not that easy ,allowing yorself to be manipulated...i thought playing basketball was tough...lol)-:living out life is much more tougher.....

WILLINGDON ISLAND
don't tell me... iv to go through it all again.... praisin willingdon island....sheesh....i feel like sreamin "get a life" feelin bored you know....life is much better in here don't mention the crowded ernakulam town...rather than sittin at home...sippin the hot tea....in the comfort zone....i like the heat of the outdoors fightin with the cold windz ...beatin the mercury......i stay near the sea side area...still feels so warmed up ...so dry.....ought to see the park near the sea...awesome.... cool breeze,ships sailin by,birdz back to their nest after gruellsome day...its refreshin....n indoors..humid get ready to wet yourdress its sweatin time...don't forget to mention the mosquito attack....big ones suckin your blood...singin out wierd songz...yuck....the traffic to this part of the city is less so ,you won't feel like you are in city...no pollution...no power cuts.....no maddenin crowd...hey...don't think of buyin a house in here cause..the entire place is government owned....no place 4 outsiders....lol)-:

WHY???
Bad.....definitely bad....whenever i keep myself busy,fuming about ma lack of time...it's bad news.....im hurt....i try to burn up all ma energy n focus just to get out of the akward situation....hm)-:This time it was smijas who noticed"you are tired"she said patting on ma shoulder....i knew it!!!!!time to go back to square 1:analyze...right after college i did stand in front of the mirror ....staring at maself...no....i can't stand there seeing maself....and its not doing any good...it's making me feel sick...Gottcha....turn on the laptop...read blogs!!!!think its helping...and...lol)-:i understand now......."INFERIORITY COMPLEX"........i have that mechanism inbuilt but this time it has taken it has taken its toll.....how can i make myself feel good...That's where the mob coes i....who ever is thecreator...thanx!!!!i rang up ma old friendz...from school....its helping....ate some crunchies in between 'n' now blogging...Everything in perfect order...."why a i feeling low????"shouldn't be.....why am i letting the heart take control over the brain????i shouldn't allow it....Back to 19...ripping your personility does help.....a good sleep and i will be back on track...raring to go...fasterthan before....

MAKING FRIENDS

What is the criteria of makin friends????hm(-:subject to ponder about...its not that i follow them everytime...still......

• LOOKS.....(poor souls out there....its true lol)-:beauty or no friends..)
• INTELLIGENCE????(not the googles wearing type though)
• FAITHFULNESS
• COMPACTIBILITY
• ATTITUDE
• STYLE????
• HELPING,CARING 'N' UNDERSTANDING

If put into a tight spot.......i will be happy choosing ma friends based on the 3,4 n 5th criteria....it's annoying at times to see people falling for the most popular guy or gal in the college....can't blame them...is all humane....neva.....don't get bitten by the beauty n intelligence bug.... next time you choose friends"YOU CAN GO WRONG"

DAD!!!!!
Dad waz in charge of the house today as mama had to go to the work early....its really annoying when dad is around.....he just screams out at every instant"don't do that don't do this"who's bothered....dad made me clean the dishes....yuk!!!!when mom is around she does all the cleaning work...he even tried his hand in cooking.....he made somethin called "thoran"looked like burnt cabbage....im better off with ma potato chips....he d n't even take me to visit grandma..dad asked me to baby sit ma (DAD IN UNIFORM:HE'S AN INDIAN CUSTOMS OFFICER)younger brother...so uncool!!!\now...that dad is gone....me n bro are havin a great time....dirtyin the house......when dad n mom comes back they will be in for a shock....lol!!!can't wait to see the expression on their face.....

IT'S OVER......
The much feared SSD is over....what a relief.....but...xam wasn't that easy...especially the B part...12 marks questions all twisted to the core....again.....ma memory cheated me...forgot..the derivation of contact potential.....at times when i need memory the most it vanishes off from sight....gosH!!!!!!as expected it was easy for SMI.....i knew that...no magic balls required to predict that....well the next xam is on 7th that too...electronics circuit...isnt as difficult as SSD...but,for the last internal xam i scored a...B-.....its bad i know.... still.... everyone scored the same..... hey....i ought to get a trophy....wanna know why????cause yesterday i kept awake untill...3a.m.....go up at 5....i killed ma beauty sleep for SSD...hate IT!!!!

RACISM
Last week the Indian press carried full length news on bullying of SHILPA SHETTY by the other housemates in the BIG BROTHER CHANNEL 4call it a frantic attempt by a fading star to regain her lost glory or call it the WEST'S attitude towards the EAST,shilpa managed to create a few ripples in the international arena...RACISM exist in any civilised ociety...even india is not free from this virus...racism exist within Indian bondaries..one may wonder...classification based on skin colour or what...na....the tag here is"BY THE PEOPLE 4 THE PEOPLE"India is divided into 4 zones namely north,south eastn west each with its lifestyle n even gods i hail from south comprising of kerala,thamilnadu,karnataka n andhrapradesh.i belong to malayalee community which boasts of highest literary rate in India(98%)be it aerospace,IT parks... famed IIT and IISC....whatever be the advances made by the south the people..the north zone fails to recognise it..during my short stint with the north (did ma schooling there)i came into terms with racism within India.even though ma name doesn't sound southish ,ma accent does..it did fetch me a new name..."MADRASI" the north people know only one class of south people..they poke fun of your dialect,hair colour ( jet black hair)they even think south people eat dosa(food item)365 a year...their attitude towards south is not a hostile one so is their attitude towards other zones .....when racism exist within india what right do Indians(including me)have,to question the west's attitude towards he east????(at least the skin colour differnce is more pedominant than the difference between south n north)racism cannot be tamed ..even law is not strong enough to dig its teeth into this ugly piece of junk well we gotta...live...with it ,over it n even beat it..

NIGHTMARE NAMED SOLID STATE DEVICES...
feeling quite left out......needs someone to speak to.......it is more of a desperate ..situation....smi's(ma friend) is racking her brains over electrical.....examz which will be held on tuesde.....m....i don think there is anything to be so.. scared of...electrical..is so simple as compared to the dreadfull ssd(solid sate devices) ....haven't attended any of the ssd classes properly...m....our professor..a highly wiseman of his degree did explain almost everything but......na....had to go through his (or it can be called MY) notes more than 10 times to understand the very first line....smi is 2...good in ssd.....she always scores good marks....to ma horror iv realised that i don't have the notes of first two chapters namely....diodes n basic fundamentals....m...i was busy sleepin then....m...tell u people somethin...from experience...sit in the front row wearing your spectacles....so that your professor won't catch you napping....he!!!he!!!he!!!!a....i did get 7 days off before..electical...i wasting that off....next examz is ssd..only 2 days off...i tried to..catch up with ssd...na...felt like a monster right out of ma nightmares....even ma friend appu is out of town.....can't ask him for help either...hey...on 2nd i will have to face...the truth.....as far as the saying from MAHABHARATHA goes...."you are the master of your own actions"low marks are what you get for wasting away your time....

IRONY IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
PART -2
Last day as i was jolting ma way to the examination hall trying to remember greens theorem one of ma ex- classmate stoped me...."Here comes the star" she announced...i tried to reason with her so as why she thinks so????"aha!!!!you seem innocent you idiot "she said....as a matter of fact i did understand what the topic was but......didnt dare to open ma mouth.....2 days back one of ma very close friend eloped with a guy she met via chatting.....it came as a shock to many of us as she put us in the dark throughout....none of us had slightest idea on what was going on....the last day i met her was 2 days before, the incident at college....she didnt show any signs nor did she mention anything.....the entire incident came as a surprise to many as she was one among the toppers in the class....what to say?????people...are making up new stories, with her best friends including me.... playing a part in the foul game....even her parents think that we are partly to be blamed.....the story doesnt end here ...as the police couldn't trace her yet...hope she would surface some day....iv prepared some questions which she will have to answer.....cause...she cheated on us....broke our trust...broke all those peoples heart that loved her...her parents who looked after her for 19 years...she didnt even think about those two...she backed them out for A person she met just two years ago...ANOTHER IRONY IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!

sees...day i n day out...itz gettin tough....now that people have become so...nosy that itz impossible to sigh even....all people wanna know are the bad things
happening in others life...how cruel....in with the people who loves to see you hurt...had enough of this!!!!!the next time someone comes over n asks aboutwhat the real story is...im not goin to keep that smiling mask intact...im just gonna burst off.......im not the one liable for all he misfortunes......hah!!!!let people say whatever they want im not gonna be a part of the scheme....

IRONY IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS.....
For the last few weeks iv been a mere spectator to the irony in human relationships... every time i open ma mouth to react, im pulled back by the darker side ......i was struck down by the fact that people can change in moments time....strange but, yes true....Anu ,ma friend started behaving strange...all of a sudden problems seemed to creep, out of nowhere...on a fine day she came upto me with a new issue... she declared in front of the whole class that she hates being a black birdie...all of us started wondering...why a sudden change of mind after one year?????i never pick up ma friends based on looks,intelligence or money...for me friends are like ones own reflection an integral part of ma life....the next day i saw her in the midst of some white birdies...one week later...as an acceptable member of both the flocks... a white birdie complained..."she's annoying"...poor thing....she doesnt understand the mean world out there...as far as ma friends are concerned...they are not ready to welcome her back...im torn between ma commitment n ma pride.....

hey...dere ppl...check out these amazing picz.... they are some cool pencil drawingz......

sh.......common....life is so.....boring......so much to do....so...much work out...december is the month when we will have to face with lab exams....phew!!!!!!!!waz........with theory exams....im screwed....

.....A.....
Why do i always have 2 listen 2 what ma parents have 2 say????live risk free life like the ones that they have lived??why should i have to be first in the class when i know im tallented???why do i have 2 keep quiet during an argument with them???why do i have to dress the way they want???why do i have to fear tha gods...when i know fear is not a solution..why do i have to keep ma voice down????why cant i hang around with friendz..even if its late..why cant i bunk classes and go 4 a movie???why should i eat vegetables..even if i hate it..why cant i get ma upper ears pierced....why do i have to watch the stupid tearful soaps.......why cant i keep ma room untidy...why cant i stick posters on ma wall???why cant i go to college on ma bike???shee..these are the questions i wanna ask ma parents..but dont have courage to do so...

DEEP BLUE SEA AND THE FERRY RIDE
willingdon island ,the only man made island in kerala...is also india's finnest ports.i stay near the sea still,the images that i have are not pleasent ones..whenever i look at the sea it reminds me of the big ugly shark of "deep blue sea"usually i go to ma college in public transport...but today i thought to differ..may be a ride in the ferry will help in sheding the fear ...hah i went to the harbour only to realise that the ferry was 10 minutes late...watever...after about 20 minutes the ferry arrived....hah finally...when we reached almost half the ferry came to a halt...a.....?????when some of ma fellow passengers told me that the engine was not working properly...hah....again after 30 minutes another ferry arrived guiding the first one to land .land....finally....the journey which usually takes me about 25 minutes took almost an hourand a half....gosh...man..ferry rides...such a ....

POST DEPRESSION
back to the world of maniacs....time after time iv been suffering from the same syndrome...something thats part of ma life..."DEPRESSION"cant blame anyone..most of the time i hide ma persona onto myself without opening up,keeping all the worries to myself..once into its grip i tend to hurt maself..accusing the world of being bad to me...not even ma friendz seems to know ma issues..whenever i keep ma head low..becoming quite ,everyone seems to think its part of growing up..all ma rage and accusations go straight to ma parents heart...iv witnessed two types of depression one being hiding onto onself other being letting the anger take control of oneself...earlier i used to hide from anyything and everything nowdays i let loose all ma emotions..whatever be the situation..i tend to care less about the people around me..ma parents for instance..doesnt react to ma violent behavior..post depression period is totally a traumatic one...the feeling of pain that one causes seems to come back haunting the consiousness..i dont seem to understand why..the people around me doesnt react...hasnt been a very good week anyway...semestor is coming to an end ..exams fast approaching..seems like iv to get over the feeling of lonliness somehow..

CRAZY WORLD....
hey...wazz with people????around me, i have so many people...advicing ,asking me not to do this, do that...im sick of this baby sitting thing...people i know ,treat me like a small kid...for this reason im constantly fighing with ma buddies, silly rite.....heh...may be im childish afterall...so ma classes are not going well ,trying hard to figure out something that will help me ...in....got to see what real life is really like...vish ,ma friend has started with a habbit lately...trying hard to make me mad..strange isnt it....i cant say anything back.. im ice cool..doesnt get mad at anyone...hah exept a few .....

"KERALA" GODS OWN COUNTRY.......

WAZ WITH THE AMERICANS????
It has always been the habit of Americans to show their money and muscle power to the rest of the world...death sentence awarded to Saddam was just another episode in the saga written solely by the bully americans and their counterparts..UN is just another puppet in the hands of americans...AMERICANS......down with their policies..iraqies ,afghan people (women and children including),all are victims of american cruelity...all the drama involved in the war with iraq was an american ploy to capture the vast oil reserves of the east....weapons of mass destruction?????hah.....think they can fool the rest of the world...no ways.....people of america have started realising the truth i suppose....one thing that they fail to realise is that developing countries mostly west and east asian countries hate the very americaness involved ....the hate wave is fast spreading to even europe....recent terrorist attaks are living proof for this testimony....millions of people from both sides have shed their lives for satisfying bush and cos...vested interests...people of america wake up to a new begining...raise your voice against the cruelity.....

WAY OF LIFE
a...feels so odd..to look back and to see everything so blured.life has become so..materialistic...no one cares about their fellow beings...all what one wants is personal glory and achivements..they dont care about the people they hurt during the process...i cant seem to understand when ma friendz.. say 'ITS ONE BIG MEAN WORLD'when you start thinking about the pro's and cons of helping others you really start to wonder...what is the point of helping when you can't expect anything in return...i do ma bit of stuff when it comes to helping people...but whatever experiences that i received is not positive...nowadays i tend to be little more selfish..think about maself before anyone else...i know its not a positive attitude but still...humanity and love is fast dissapearing from the face of earth..when u rip off the mask worn by people ,all you see is emptiness,shallowness...its time to change the way of life....way of life...