There is a lot done and said on last day's incident (by the time this post is published, it would be almost 3 months) which spiraled out of control. This set me thinking about the concept of jealousy and comparison.
Was there even a tinge of jealousy that circled in that conference room that day?. Well, disappointment sure did make its rounds. I was disappointed cause I had given my heart a chance to expect. May be, it did show on my face, but I was a quick sport to congratulate the winners (my brain asked my heart to stop feeling bad and do what is required, I remember that moment just like yesterday). My parents have always taught me to excel; not by comparing myself with another individual, but with my own older version. My brother on the other hand believes that comparison helps one grow (it did work for him). According to me, comparison breeds insecurity and unhappiness, why waste time and energy on someone else's achievements?. I have always ensured that year on year, I surpass my previous achievements. I'm happy in my space and don't want to risk my happiness. When my manager spoke to me personally about selecting a person from a pool of four for an award and how comparison plays an important role, I shared my view points on the same. Why compare two people who are not even at the same level?. The result will always be one-sided. Why don't you compare that person's achievement with his on her responsibilities first. If my work is quantified as X, and I have gone extra miles to achieve X+2 and the other person work is Y and he has performed Y+3, by all the means the other person is far more deserving for a recognition than I am. If there is a tie in the first instance, then compare on whose achievement was a better value addition to the organization. It's not right to expect two people, completely on different spectrum to be compared with each other as the opportunities and responsibilities they handle differ. I feel so disturbed by the recent turn of events, where I feel all my actions are painted in a different color. Am I jealous for that matter at x, y, or z for doing better than me?. Why would I be?. I am only my own nemesis, my own source of inspiration, my own benchmark. I am not jealous at anyone professionally, as I am happy and content in my own space. Only when someone fails to acknowledge the effort I put in, I come out and speak. I love recognition and there is no doubt about that. I would definitely be competing against my current achievements for the next quarter.
The story doesn't end here. Three months after penning this down in my journal, I have resigned from my present organization. I am looking forward to my big move, painting my life with love, and spending an eternity with love of my life. After 2 years of struggle, I can see a dim ray of hope, one that is a result of tough decisions.
Was there even a tinge of jealousy that circled in that conference room that day?. Well, disappointment sure did make its rounds. I was disappointed cause I had given my heart a chance to expect. May be, it did show on my face, but I was a quick sport to congratulate the winners (my brain asked my heart to stop feeling bad and do what is required, I remember that moment just like yesterday). My parents have always taught me to excel; not by comparing myself with another individual, but with my own older version. My brother on the other hand believes that comparison helps one grow (it did work for him). According to me, comparison breeds insecurity and unhappiness, why waste time and energy on someone else's achievements?. I have always ensured that year on year, I surpass my previous achievements. I'm happy in my space and don't want to risk my happiness. When my manager spoke to me personally about selecting a person from a pool of four for an award and how comparison plays an important role, I shared my view points on the same. Why compare two people who are not even at the same level?. The result will always be one-sided. Why don't you compare that person's achievement with his on her responsibilities first. If my work is quantified as X, and I have gone extra miles to achieve X+2 and the other person work is Y and he has performed Y+3, by all the means the other person is far more deserving for a recognition than I am. If there is a tie in the first instance, then compare on whose achievement was a better value addition to the organization. It's not right to expect two people, completely on different spectrum to be compared with each other as the opportunities and responsibilities they handle differ. I feel so disturbed by the recent turn of events, where I feel all my actions are painted in a different color. Am I jealous for that matter at x, y, or z for doing better than me?. Why would I be?. I am only my own nemesis, my own source of inspiration, my own benchmark. I am not jealous at anyone professionally, as I am happy and content in my own space. Only when someone fails to acknowledge the effort I put in, I come out and speak. I love recognition and there is no doubt about that. I would definitely be competing against my current achievements for the next quarter.
The story doesn't end here. Three months after penning this down in my journal, I have resigned from my present organization. I am looking forward to my big move, painting my life with love, and spending an eternity with love of my life. After 2 years of struggle, I can see a dim ray of hope, one that is a result of tough decisions.
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