Unhappiness

There is way too much going on in my life, some of which has no answers or reasonable approach to solving. I have been brought up in a very caring and loving family environment, so much so that, I have a delusional view of the concept of family. Me and my brother had equal roles to play, there was no special preference to the male gender in the house and I have always seen my dad helping my mom with the household chores. They are partners in the institution of marriage. I have been married off to a very polarized family, the one that only dwells on degrees and status; where love and care does not even waft through the air and personal growth is only through comparison. Sometimes, I feel trapped, forced to excel above my sis-in-law cause she is much better (as my father in law puts across) even if I don't want to. I can't grow ahead in career cause their son needs someone to take care of his life. Ooh well, she is earning X lakhs and you, you better sit at home cause anyways you need to take a break in the future. I am just tired!!!pleasing people, trying to put a fake smile. The feeling just got worse as my little brother went to say goodbye to my in-laws before leaving for INA (Indian Naval Academy). Its a pathetic job according to my in-laws (serving the country that is). I was furious at this said statement, why can't they for once be happy about someone?. No!!! well they dwell on unhappiness. I would turn crazy if I have to deal with such negative souls day in and day out. Dear lord, please do listen to my prayers....

They say when two individuals marry, the families too are bonded for eternity, a statement my family overlooked for the perfect track record of the guy who loves me to the moon and beyond, after all it's difficult to get a well educated, good-looking, near to perfect character guy. The events that occurred post my wedding, the one that is still happening is so emotionally draining. If you see, my in-laws are not bad human beings, but their life choices and influences are much different from mine. I need love, care, compassion, and good laughs and not high level contacts, competition, money, and status to walk though bed of thrones. I don't understand why people need to pull you down, telling you that you will not be able to do a certain thing. I am not such a person, and I would like to ward of such negativeness from my life.