"So, Are you changing your name", Kuttan's ammuma (grandma) put the ball in my court and waited for my answer, slowly chopping the rest of the vegetables. Concentrating hard on the perfectly cut vegetables, I mumbled, "NO". "That was the norm in our days", she continued lowering the sharp object. "Well, it's a tedious process and I just don't have enough time to run behind the lengthy government procedures", I replied as I just wanted to get out of the lengthy flashbacks that I would be subjected to in case the conversation reached level 2.
Yes, I was talking from experience. I had got my name altered when I was in 6th standard. Nothing fancy, just added a surname and some jumbling of alphabets because the 12 year old me found that everyone around was pronouncing my name wrong.
As for the surname, can you believe my dad actually forgot to add a second name or surname to my original name in my birth certificate?. While in 6th, the teachers made my parents understand the gravity of just having their daughter named OPAL. So, after a few running around the government offices, I officially got my name corrected and became OPAL XOXO. Still, people pronounce my name all wrong, but I have learnt to live with it.
As for the topic of yesterday's discussion Do you guys really think it's mandatory for the girl to change her surname after marriage?. Back in the stone age, in the patriarchal society of Kerala it was a big deal. The betel chewing head of the family used to snatch away the girls surname and add her husband's name as her surname, or even her husband's family name. It was to instill this fear in the newly wed girls mind that she is no longer the part of her family, but now she has to walk-talk-dance to the tunes of her new one.
Life must have been hard for those girls, first coming into a new family and putting up a smiling face to the strangers inhabiting that even stranger island and then to watch her identity of the last 22 years being erased away. It's more like embracing a new identity and she has to live with it for the rest of her lives, whether she likes it or not!!!
This name is a part of who I am, my identity, my voice, my dreams and I am not ready to change it just beacuse I have a mangalsutra to flaunt now and in-laws to respect. No offence to anyone, but I have seen plenty of my friends changing their surname to their husband's name after marriage. I don't need to hide behind someone else's identity to let my personality shine through. OOh!! while jolting down these points my alter ego came up with this sentence "WHAT'S IN A NAME DARLING, SO WHAT IF YOU HAVE YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME AS YOUR SURNAME...IT'S NOT GONNA CHANGE WHO YOU ARE KNOW?". Yes, it wouldn't, but then Mrs. Alter-ego it wouldn't the other way round too na?...
As for Mr.G, my husband who doesn't bother much about all that's written in my blog he is cool with it. He had asked this question just once, and I let know my feelings clearly after which this topic was never brought up. He knows me well enough to know how fiercely I guard my independence and being the same guy with whom I fell in love with 4 years back he knows I haven't changed one bit.
With lotsa love
OPAL XOXO
Yes, I was talking from experience. I had got my name altered when I was in 6th standard. Nothing fancy, just added a surname and some jumbling of alphabets because the 12 year old me found that everyone around was pronouncing my name wrong.
As for the surname, can you believe my dad actually forgot to add a second name or surname to my original name in my birth certificate?. While in 6th, the teachers made my parents understand the gravity of just having their daughter named OPAL. So, after a few running around the government offices, I officially got my name corrected and became OPAL XOXO. Still, people pronounce my name all wrong, but I have learnt to live with it.
As for the topic of yesterday's discussion Do you guys really think it's mandatory for the girl to change her surname after marriage?. Back in the stone age, in the patriarchal society of Kerala it was a big deal. The betel chewing head of the family used to snatch away the girls surname and add her husband's name as her surname, or even her husband's family name. It was to instill this fear in the newly wed girls mind that she is no longer the part of her family, but now she has to walk-talk-dance to the tunes of her new one.
Life must have been hard for those girls, first coming into a new family and putting up a smiling face to the strangers inhabiting that even stranger island and then to watch her identity of the last 22 years being erased away. It's more like embracing a new identity and she has to live with it for the rest of her lives, whether she likes it or not!!!
This name is a part of who I am, my identity, my voice, my dreams and I am not ready to change it just beacuse I have a mangalsutra to flaunt now and in-laws to respect. No offence to anyone, but I have seen plenty of my friends changing their surname to their husband's name after marriage. I don't need to hide behind someone else's identity to let my personality shine through. OOh!! while jolting down these points my alter ego came up with this sentence "WHAT'S IN A NAME DARLING, SO WHAT IF YOU HAVE YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME AS YOUR SURNAME...IT'S NOT GONNA CHANGE WHO YOU ARE KNOW?". Yes, it wouldn't, but then Mrs. Alter-ego it wouldn't the other way round too na?...
As for Mr.G, my husband who doesn't bother much about all that's written in my blog he is cool with it. He had asked this question just once, and I let know my feelings clearly after which this topic was never brought up. He knows me well enough to know how fiercely I guard my independence and being the same guy with whom I fell in love with 4 years back he knows I haven't changed one bit.
With lotsa love
OPAL XOXO
