From drafts again.... For the month of March, I present to you something I wrote few months back...Disturbing piece of article
Years later only few imaginary situations make up my life, I am particularly aware of my decaying memory. These white lies have never hurt anyone, but if exposed would mar my reputation to big extend. I have come to a point where I don't really care about what others think of me, I am infact happy in the web of lies I created for myself. What started off as child's desire to impress her friends soon turned into a imaginary world for her to turn to during crisis situation. My mom calls it escapism, she tells me that I am too scared to look into the face of reality and accept that my world is not as picture perfect as I imagine it to be. Yes it scares the shit out of me, I tremble at the thought of MY world crumbling down. For how much long will I be able to sustain this lie games, I don't know but until then these characters are me, a part of the reflection that I see in the mirror.
 |
| Source: A mail I received |
I have been pretty obsessed with the word PERFECT all through out my life. People who do know me personally would label my life as a PERFECT one, I for one in an attempt to make people and places a lil more PERFECT started lying at a young age. No, its not as dreadful as it sounds, basically I was weaving a web of lies, white lies precisely and started living in the world thrived by the imaginary characters created by my lies. They were real, living in flesh and blood somewhere , the incidents were so detailed to a precession that would scare the hell out of me today.
I created cousins and relatives who never existed , I created scenarios that never happened...in short I was living a delusioned life. People around me were silently drawn into my world. Today, as I look back I have to admit that I was never caught telling a lie....not even once, may be I was too good at this or may be people around me knew I was lying and they were having fun at my expense. I don't know. I never went wrong with my lies, that is if you ask me about something today, tomorrow or even after 20 years my answer would remain same. I never abandon any characters from my life, they are etched into my heart forever.
I never had to make the lies sound convincing. Throughout school I was holding to a particular set of lies, once I moved to college there were new characters waiting to embrace me. New people and situations found its way into the web, the old characters were reserved in case any of the old buddies did ask me anything specific.
