Lessons I learnt in 2015

1. People change, and they move on. There is no point holding back onto memories.
2. Blood is thicker than everything.
3. Life = Unpredictable! get used to it!
4. Success never comes for free.
5. The concept of True Friends do exist. It's not a lost art.

Feelings: Twitter Format

Immense sense of disappointment, feeling of void, and a pat on the back for trusting my guts, no matter how bad the outcome is! #moveon #life

Why I Deleted My FB Account

I tossed around my bed, I couldn't sleep, and the urge to scroll through my FB account was killing me. Initially, FB was just a forum for me  to be in touch with old school and college pals, to be in synch with the happenings around me, and this simple purpose grew out of control.

I realised over the course of time that  it was inevitable to curb the feelings of trying to catch up. 

There were people posting smiling pictures of their babies, while I am, at 27 years still unsure of what life has in store for me. People checking in at fancy places and going on vacations every other month, and here I was trying to fit in time for my family in between my busy schedule.

No, I can't judge someone's life based on their profile, but it surely did kill my self esteem, it made me panicky, was I taking a step back in my life? Initially, it started out as self doubt, and then it started consuming me, the feeling of worthlessness, the feeling of being not able to catch up to life, NO, this was not what I signed in for!!! I couldn't sleep, I too wanted a kid, I too wanted to go for vacation, and the feeds were not helping. Why hold on to something that only gives you displeasure and unhappiness? The other day, I had a complete meltdown, unable to explain to my dear one what exactly was happening! I despised my life, the juncture I am at my life and it felt only natural to press that deactivate button.

I am not sure, if I would return to FB. I would rather be on Instagram where I have nothing to do with people I know, not until all my ex-school and college mates join the Instagram bandwagon that is!!!!!until then I am safe in that little space, posting and filtering away random pictures.

I even deleted my Watzaap account, which is irreversible unlike FB, my motive was to get rid of all the groups I was part of, cut off from contacts, being in my shell, where I felt safe and comforted.

I am in that stage of my life, where the black dog seems to make an appearance quite often, the feeling of worthlessness, and self doubt creeping up frequently. Let's see how life progresses from here.

The personal feelings are completely a round turn from what I believe professionally, in that space, nothing, I mean, nothing makes me uncomfortable and panicky. I do not compare or fill my heart with self doubt. You can ready my feelings on my professional ethos here. 
You must be wondering why I can't bring in the same values that I follow in my professional life to the personal front as well, the answer is: I have no clue!!!

Pseudo Feminist

Deepika Padukone’s “It’s My Choice” video created quite a stir, and suddenly the online world was divided into two camps. We have a section of the audience supporting the video calling it an accurate display of feminism, whereas the opposite ultra-orthodox camp lost it on the mention of the statement, “It’s my choice to have S*x inside or outside the marriage,”. We also have a minority audience, few un-woke citizens like me who couldn’t comprehend the fuzz with regards to ansimple video. First of all, I am a champion of woman empowerment and equality. I believe it’s not just the women’s job to toil in the kitchen or being stereotyped into specific roles. In a social fabric, where man and woman are both breadwinners of a family, it takes two people and many adjustments to run a house like a well-oiled machine. My idea of empowerment stops right there, I feel vulnerable and crave for affection, I expect my brother/dad/husband to drive me around, I expect answers to my questions when I am wailing like a small kid, yeah and I throw feminism through the window at these vulnerable moments.

Any form of ‘ISM’ shouldn’t be one-sided. The idea of feminism and the video itself has so many flaws, one of which is; if you have the right to come home late or have S*x outside marriage, it is equally fitting for your partner/brother/father to indulge in any of the said choices. Crying wolf is not the thing to do, nor is the divorce; it’s their choice too, remember?. Anything a woman/girl can do because it’s her choice, the man/boy should also be able to make cause choice is a self-indulgent term.

I agree that I am a pseudo-feminist, conveniently twisting the term to suit my idea of feminism. It’s my CHOICE!!!

The controversial video:

North East trip

Our travels are jinxed, somehow we end up deciding and packing at the nth moment. This trip was no better, we had booked flight tickets 4 months prior, but never got around deciding our itinerary. 1 week before, I went into panic mode, did a little bit of research and came up with a "Iv got 7 days, I will cover 7 states" itinerary. When I shared the itinerary, my friend (thanks Mayurika!!) gasped in horror, with her arched eyebrows and twisted lips, she asked me one simple question, "So how are you planning to travel?". The very simple question led to more frantic calls and finally we decided on a light weight touristy trip. The trip was for 7 days, and the budget was somewhere close to 50,000 for 2 people. I wanted to share some pointers with you guys, in case any of you decide to travel to NE.

• Transport: This will eat up your budget, its costly unlike other cities. You can cut down the cost by hiring a shared cab. Renting out a cab can be very very costly.
• City vehicle movement: Most of the city borders close by around 6-8 pm and no vehicles are allowed to pass after. So, plan your trips accordingly.
• Start early: In NE, start early if your are planning to visit any place as sun rises pretty early, and sets pretty quick. Also, I overheard one driver say that after 4 pm, BRD doesn't clear the road blockages caused due to landslides.
• ILP: When we decided to travel to Arunachal, little did we know that we would have to get ILP, even if we are Indian citizens. Seems, ILP is a must if you are visiting borders.You can get ILP from any travel agent and that reminds me of the next pointer.
• ID Proofs: Carry you original ID proof, xerox copies and few passport size photos. This would be useful while registering for ILPs and also there will be ID proof verification in most of the border areas.
• Madrasi: A small pet peeve of mine, being called Madrasi. Well, I am not one as I come from Malluland (Kerala) and no, I won't respond to your vanakam (In Malayam, it is namaskaram). I was called Madrasi atleast 4-5 times during the trip. We finally had to convince the person-a-la chakde style "If we call a Sikkimese guy, Manipuri, how will he feel?". Silence on the other side and there after, no further Chennai express talks.
• Smoking and spitting: What's with the mountains and smoking habits?. Every where I could see people smoking packets and packets of cigars. Our driver finished 2 packets of cigars during our 4 hour journey!!!. I saw school kids catching smoke on the school roof. Another sad habit is thamabakoo usage and spitting.

• Men in uniform: If you need to feel patriotic, this is a good place to start with. Be ready to see, men in uniform every 2 secs,are everywhere. You can see a military camp within every Km.
• Queue: People patiently wait in queues for the army trucks to pass through the other side, no overtaking, no honking, no swear words, nothing. They just wait there in queue patiently, something that rest of the India should learn from (I am looking at you, Bangalore!!).
• Warm smiles: I love the warm smile on the face of certain state people. Sorry to say this, but I felt Assam (Guwahati) was very rude to us, very rude!!!!!
• Food: Nom nom, my favorite part. If you are a non-veggie, you would love this place and if you are a veg, you too would love this place. The NE food mainly consists of a soup base, with lot of boiled veggies and chicken shreds. The food is non-spicy, but extremely healthy and tasty. I survived on soup for whole 7 days. I have had so much NE food in the 7 days that I would not dare to touch Indochinese (NE) food for the next 3-4 months.
• Cleanliness: Places are clean, neat and well maintained. Spitting is banned in Sikkim and the city is extremely well kept and self sufficient. Public loos are very well maintained.
• Shopping: All the shops and other places close by around 7-8 pm. Make sure you have your dinner early. Sikkim and Guwahati offers multitude of options for the travelers to purchase curios and handicrafts indigenous to the area. I am happy to report that like rest of India, bargaining works here too.

Comparison: The good, the bad and the ugly

There is a lot done and said on last day's incident (by the time this post is published, it would be almost 3 months) which spiraled out of control. This set me thinking about the concept of jealousy and comparison. 

Was there even a tinge of jealousy that circled in that conference room that day?. Well, disappointment sure did make its rounds. I was disappointed cause I had given my heart a chance to expect. May be, it did show on my face, but I was a quick sport to congratulate the winners (my brain asked my heart to stop feeling bad and do what is required, I remember that moment just like yesterday). My parents have always taught me to excel; not by comparing myself with another individual, but with my own older version. My brother on the other hand believes that comparison helps one grow (it did work for him). According to me, comparison breeds insecurity and unhappiness, why waste time and energy on someone else's achievements?. I have always ensured that year on year, I surpass my previous achievements. I'm happy in my space and don't want to risk my happiness. When my manager spoke to me personally about selecting a person from a pool of four for an award and how comparison plays an important role, I shared my view points on the same. Why compare two people who are not even at the same level?. The result will always be one-sided. Why don't you compare that person's achievement with his on her responsibilities first. If my work is quantified as X, and I have gone extra miles to achieve X+2 and the other person work is Y and he has performed Y+3, by all the means the other person is far more deserving for a recognition than I am.  If there is a tie in the first instance, then compare on whose achievement was a better value addition to the organization. It's not right to expect two people, completely on different spectrum to be compared with each other as the opportunities and responsibilities they handle differ. I feel so disturbed by the recent turn of events, where I feel all my actions are painted in a different color. Am I jealous for that matter at x, y, or z for doing better than me?. Why would I be?. I am only my own nemesis, my own source of inspiration, my own benchmark. I am not jealous at anyone professionally, as I am happy and content in my own space. Only when someone fails to acknowledge the effort I put in, I come out and speak. I love recognition and there is no doubt about that. I would definitely be competing against my current achievements for the next quarter.

The story doesn't end here. Three months after penning this down in my journal, I have resigned from my present organization. I am looking forward to my big move, painting my life with love, and spending an eternity with love of my life. After 2 years of struggle, I can see a dim ray of hope, one that is a result of tough decisions.

Goodbye

Dear Friend.

Wishing you the very best for your life ahead. You have drifted off to a place, where I don't intend to follow you to. We all have different tastes, different perspective of life and friendship. I don't want to trust my ears, cause they can feed you with most negative of thoughts. You will be forever in the right place in my heart and our friendship will be cherished. 

Goodbye and good luck.

2015

I have been going through the evolution chart of this blog, from an 18 year old's rambling about finding a perfect guy to falling in love, I have come a long way to a more brooding-unhappy-dark-fatter version of myself. The posts are more depressing as my age progresses. I look back and laugh uncontrollably at that silly 18 year old who had her priorities screwed up, who found happiness in small things, whose primary motto in life was to be HAPPY. Fast forward years later, I am still in search of happiness, but in a more polished form, materialistic, professional and personal. When I find the void too deep to fill in, I turn to my blog to carve out utter non-sense. 

Getting up in the morning to get ready for the office has now become a struggle. I have this little theory of mine" The moment you find your job a chore, it's time to move on". I am not happy, I used to strive for profession happiness at the cost of personal happiness, and 2015 stuck me with a huge realization that though I might be successful in finding another job that gives me happiness, the lost time with my loved ones is irreversible. 

I am becoming more and more frustrated to a point where "nothing really matters". I love my profession, but the "JOB" not so much.

Unhappiness

There is way too much going on in my life, some of which has no answers or reasonable approach to solving. I have been brought up in a very caring and loving family environment, so much so that, I have a delusional view of the concept of family. Me and my brother had equal roles to play, there was no special preference to the male gender in the house and I have always seen my dad helping my mom with the household chores. They are partners in the institution of marriage. I have been married off to a very polarized family, the one that only dwells on degrees and status; where love and care does not even waft through the air and personal growth is only through comparison. Sometimes, I feel trapped, forced to excel above my sis-in-law cause she is much better (as my father in law puts across) even if I don't want to. I can't grow ahead in career cause their son needs someone to take care of his life. Ooh well, she is earning X lakhs and you, you better sit at home cause anyways you need to take a break in the future. I am just tired!!!pleasing people, trying to put a fake smile. The feeling just got worse as my little brother went to say goodbye to my in-laws before leaving for INA (Indian Naval Academy). Its a pathetic job according to my in-laws (serving the country that is). I was furious at this said statement, why can't they for once be happy about someone?. No!!! well they dwell on unhappiness. I would turn crazy if I have to deal with such negative souls day in and day out. Dear lord, please do listen to my prayers....

They say when two individuals marry, the families too are bonded for eternity, a statement my family overlooked for the perfect track record of the guy who loves me to the moon and beyond, after all it's difficult to get a well educated, good-looking, near to perfect character guy. The events that occurred post my wedding, the one that is still happening is so emotionally draining. If you see, my in-laws are not bad human beings, but their life choices and influences are much different from mine. I need love, care, compassion, and good laughs and not high level contacts, competition, money, and status to walk though bed of thrones. I don't understand why people need to pull you down, telling you that you will not be able to do a certain thing. I am not such a person, and I would like to ward of such negativeness from my life.

When darkness falls

A point will come, when neither your satisfied professionally nor personally. The high price of loosing the fine balancing thread is what I am paying right now and that too with my life. My head has been so bruised by the happenings around that I would want to go somewhere far far away, and dump all my sorrows. Life is not easy, nor did I expect it to be, but the circumstances for survival is becoming grim. There comes a point in everyone's life, where they feel "enough is enough". I am threading through that line. Somewhere deep within I know that quitting is definitely not one of my traits and going through the immense pressure every single day, without a helping hand is also not one of my finest traits.

Deep exhale and move on, but where to? certainly your are playing with my sensitive side, certainly you are wounding my pride, certainly I would love to disappear into thin air.

Its all becoming too hard to handle, too difficult to understand, too fogy to see past. Life this year was at an all time low. The tears and the random bouts of sadness engulfing me and turning my heart all black, I watched myself being consumed by pain and the saddest part?. I couldn't do anything about it. For once I held on to the rope that I believed would be my salvation rope, but alas only fools believe in miracles. I am drowning in the pit of black sand, trying desperately to get out, only to feel my legs being vigorously pulled back in.

I am

I am misunderstood, I am stereotyped, I am healthy, I am flimsy, I am a cry-baby, I am a sister, daughter and wife. I am a woman!!!

Life is going on smooth, or more or so I like to believe, but job-hunting is probability eating up my sanity. I am looking forward to my two year anniversary. I spent my free-time either dancing my worries away or swimming through the ocean called YouTube. I love watching rains from indoors, but getting wet and dirty, well 'No thanks !!!'.

I feel, life is too short to learn all that you can grasp and after 25, the brain activity kinda slows down. I repeat the statements multiple times just so that I don't scribble anything stupid for the people around me to laugh at. I would love to write CAT one more time. I can't explain the high I get while solving Math problems.

Hair color, I love long tresses with slight ombre or pale highlights. I so wish I had Rapunzel-like hair, well coming back to reality, only extra deep conditioning makes my hair look like they are ready not to catch fire.

I love Makeup. I shouldn't be saying this, especially for someone who used to advocate natural beauty and blah blah. At least I m not advocating plastic surgery!!!Stop the hatred right there, if you have undergone plastic surgery, no hard feeling because I feel It's a personal choice. I don't get up everyday looking like a hindi-serial actress, no I have my sad-dull-depressing days when I would be wishing for a tucked chin pouch, but then there are ooh-so-awesome days when I would be loving everything about me. Makeup is just a tool to enhance once natural beauty, to make once feature standout. I feel empowered, strong, and feminine at the same time. I am a  strong advocate of letting your skin shine through. Makeup should be only used as a tool and not something you can hide behind.

I love my friends, few who I interact on a day to day basis, few whom I don't keep in touch with, and a few who don't the other way around. Well, I have very few close friends. The ones I can call at the middle of the night, well nonexistent. In spite of my social awkwardness there are people I cherish, for whom I will wage a war, or lay out my life and yeah no prize for guessing, that's my FAMILY.

Well, now I feel light hearted. This post is a puzzle of sort, a perfect concoction of my thoughts. 

Workplace dilemma

The second family with whom I spend my 5 x 9 hours a week has given me an amazing bunch of friends. It has also taught me a bit about office politics, dynamics, and physics. What I also learnt is where to draw a line when it comes to personal interference. In every office, there is this one person whom you wouldn't get along with. The reason can be as silly as 'I don't like how he/she looks' to more serious ones like workplace harassment. What I have learnt over the years is that, if not warranted or requested, keep the advice and suggestion to oneself. It would save you from embarrassment and save your friendship. 

I have been facing a peculiar problem in my workplace over the past 6 months. Comments that are supposedly harmless are being frequented at me and after a while they are not harmless anymore. They are plain annoying. Usually, I defer from strong reactions to balance out workplace ethics, but so it seems someone needs a whole lesson and more more on that topic. Passing a comments over ones weight or marriage is not part of team bonding activity, it is one such activity that should be kept in the heart and not let slip through the tongue. I am a very sensitive person and take offence in personal comments, but still choose to ignore. Come a point even the snake spits venom from its fangs and right now I am on the verge of doing exactly that. A direct confrontation is not something that I would prefer, but I have no choice left.

Have you faced such a scenario in your workplace?. How do you deal with such situations?

Happiness is

After coming across, tons of posts in FB on 'HAPPINESS IS' I have decided to pen down my own little version.

So, HAPPINESS IS:

• Watching my hubby smile.
• A perfect-hot cup of tea in the morning.
• Talking to my parents.
• Shopping with mom.
• Preparing food for hubby.
• The smell of tadka.
• Reading Cosmopolitan.
• Watching the rain.
• Weekend travel to home.
• Perfect hair day.
• The perfect smokey eye.
• The first ray of sun on my face.
• A good night's sleep.
• A good facial.
• Running
• Wind in my hair.
• Bike rides.
• To find that the old clothes fit me perfectly.
• Yummy dessert.
• Gossiping with my friends.
• Compliments.
• Listening to Shaan's Ghumsum ho kyom
• Writing.
• Job.
• Smelling the freshly laundered folded clothes.
• Arranging my dresser.

There you go, a perfect blend of simplicity and materialistic pleasures. Sound very ME.

Frustrated mind

May be because I am born a woman, sacrifices are expected of me. I have figured that though how much ever you are taught about equality by your parents, you end up in a jungle full of prejudice and chauvinism. I see a stark contrast in what is expected from me and what I want for myself. They are not necessarily the same. I don't harbor soft feeling to the righteous woman tag either. A woman may be a good multi-tasker, but it doesn't mean she is happy juggling different roles. Sometimes the norms make me wanna run of to some distant place with no man species to cause ripples in my mental palace. 

I have to let everything go, the ones I strive for, as one by one I have seen my dreams shatter. People want me to become something I cannot fathom myself to be. I am not a domesticated animal who obeys his master and when I dare to question "If me, why not him" they sush me off, saying that's how it's always be. I don't get it! I am tired, high on cetrazine, pulling up my warm saley jacket, wishing if things would change. I see no escape route, and things are meant to be this way.  

This picture has no relevance whatsoever to this topic, but see how the whole scene is so calm and so serene?. Rather than the whale of turbulence hitting ashore, wish my mind was little something like the emotions depicted in this picture.

Tomorrow

"Beta see you next time", as she held me close, I felt a tinge of sadness swelling inside. My friend's mom who was visiting us girls was leaving. Why was I feeling the pinch, I tried to confront my inner self. At this point of my life, precisely the wrong side of 20's is teaching me a thing or two about myself. Throughout I have maintained that I am a pure Aquarian, someone who believes in no strings attached, someone who is unemotional and not affected by people. 

No!!!I am a far cry from what I project myself to be...I break down, I don't like people walking out of my life, I hate being alone, I sulk when I don't feel loved. Is it the life juncture I am in? Have I changed? I am far more sensitive to people than I was, I listen as much as I talk, I walk the middle road. Who knows by 30, I might be back to my unattached self. If life has taught me something, that is to be unbiased, and open minded. Who knows what tomorrow holds. 

End of 2013

It's a fresh start, the office looks bare with few associates. As the world ushered in the new year spirit, I was lying on my couch watching Sherlock in awe. What presence of mind, what a charmer. The whatzaap alerts were going down by numbers as the clocked showed another 15 minutes for 2014 to begin.

The last day of 2013 was like any other day WORK-HOME (an early 5 pm one)- GYM-HOME. I decided to just lie down and reflect on the fading year. My brother who had joined me in Bangalore was having a sound sleep. Can't blame the poor guy, he had office the next day. Sherlock was distracting me, or rather taking away my pain. I was all alone this New Years!!!my flatmates had gone out and I didn't have the zing to book up a fancy place for dinner. The cook, had prepared paneer-mattar masala, would eat out 2 chapathis and call it a day. Frankly, I couldn't sleep...nor could I let the feelings go.

Bye bye 2013

I have really hated the number 13, and 2013 was not any better. The year was a stark contrast to 2012, which by the way was an awesome year. On reflecting through the year 2013, I found nothing spectacular to be worth mentioning.
Speaking of resolutions, I didn't do much better in that department either, so for the coming year I am just going to keep it simple:

• Eat healthy
• Drink lot of water
• Exercise
• Save money

That's it!!!

Year that was:

Highlights

• Went to Goa for the first time
• Booked a flat
• Lost weight
• Some notable achievements at work
• Few, but amazing friends

Lowlights

• Husband moved to a different city
• Lost my first pet dog
• More bickering and fights = more tears
• No savings and poorer me
• Frustrated

What to look forward to:

• Setting up OUR house
• Find a solution to separation
• Spending more time with my brother
  
  

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

Happy NEW YEAR guys.

Sarcasm over-loaded

You must have probably missed my rantings, or may be not. These past three months have been an eye opener of sorts, the learning through your experience which never made sense during my dad's lecture sessions makes whole lotta sense today. Now that I see the universe conspiring against my happiness, keep calm and bitch on !!!

• You are your best friend and your worst enemy.
• When you think you have got your life all figured out, it throws curveballs at you. Well, may be those are boulders.
• Do yourself a favor, when lonely buy yourself a fashion magazine.
• Always believe tomorrow is going to be a good day.
• Its good that you don't have to pay taxes for your good/happy dreams.
• I am a girl and I have every right to change my mood like a chameleon.
• I am not fat, God created me in XL as God believes in the caption 'BIGGER THE BETTER'.
• Forget it, I don't want to push this argument to the other extend cause, either way RIGHT is where I stand.
• Move on man, only if it was not an add caption.
• Its not your life or my life, it's our life. Well, the same rule doesn't apply for money honey.
• Enjoy the retail therapy while it lasts. It's as good as the walk past the next store.

Yada yada yada, I am not .01 % sarcastic in real life, sorry that I cannot even defend myself against guys who call me FAT!!. One day boys...one day..

Little things you do for me

The little things you do for me.. n nobody else make me feel good.... little things you do for me... making me smile n no one else could...! that's why i like to sit next to you...., and hear your mad stories, i know they're not true.. and i like that we share a secret or two ......together....! little things you do for me.. -

Sing along people, this jingle from a Vodafone ad is what inspired this post of mine. Post marriage, my life was thrown upside down. I was used to the "served on your plate-don't darn care how "attitude and I struggled under huge pile of responsibilities. I had a whole house to manage after office and that realization took a toll on me. I was heard complaining and sometimes shedding a tear or two, accusing my husband of being non-cooperative. While I toiled hard in the kitchen to churn out a new dish, he simply sat on the bean bag enjoying Arnab's stupid nonsensical debate. I was used to seeing my dad helping my mom out in kitchen, but here I was taking care of a child-man. After a point in time, I stopped complaining, but made a point to appreciate myself on gatherings of friend's and family of my ability to run the house singlehandedly. I was THE SUPERWOMAN!!!

Roll forward to the present, with all the drama of shifting and packing in my life, my brother came to stay along for couple of weeks. Weeks of companionship for me and torture for him. Did I mention that he is an awesome cook? (Lucky his wife). Well, I get to relish his handmade samosa and vada every evening, but the good part ends right there. He leaves the kitchen A WARZONE!!!with peeled vegetables carelessly thrown everywhere to a I-Don't-Know-what-to-call-it condition of dining table. I would have spend much time to cook all these items than clean up later. The room in which he stays is far worse than a pig coop now, with wet towels rolled in shape of a football, his sheets crumbled to the sides...aah..nightmare at it's best. Well it set me thinking...my husband though has border OCD, he never messes up the room, he likes everything in place just like I do and that my friends was one aspect I didn't boss when my husband was around. His borderline OCD, eased things out for me, I never had to run looking for my shoes or the comb cause I was sure that it wouldn't move from it's place. Well G, I miss your OCD.

Laundry!!!never knew it existed up until now. For the past one year fairy god mother kept on filling my wardrobe with fresh clothes to wear each day, the laundry bag was a namesake and the clothes smelled like fresh daisies, no really it's the fabric conditioner :D. Well, it took me a move and shift to realise that the fairy god mother was indeed my husband :(. Now, even the second laundry bag is over-flowing and I really don't have much space to buy the third one, so I swung into action, decided to do laundry myself. One slight problem though!!has the red kurtha has a tendency to loose the color?. Can I put the white one with the purple one, which mode should I put in??aagh the hundred million dollar questions. Each time I am stuck I have to give a ring to Cochin to get my answers. Well G, I miss your laundry man skills.

The maid opens her mouth only for two thing, either to complain, or two ask for the payment due. Well, lately she has been loving the former and I feel pushed to one corner, neither can she understand what I am trying to say nor can I decipher her mother tongue  My hero, though could easily converse with the maid with a mix of hindi-kannada-tamil-and malayalam all thrown together as a kichdi. I leave our flat by 8 and husband who leaves by 9 used to take care of handling the maid and her tantrums. With my weakness exposed, the maid is taking full advantage of my situation and pretend that she doesn't understand even the sign language I try for her amusement. Well G, I miss your people management skills :(.

So friends, I have reached the end of this post and have some valuable life lessons to share. To those of you who think that you do the whole housework, no!!!it's always the small things that matters, small gestures, and marriage my friends is always an effort put in by two people to make things work for  a lifetime.

US

There is this itching desire to write, not that I have any thoughts troubling me, but this month is really special. I missed out on penning down my feelings last year. I will be completing 1 year of wifehood this coming Saturday. There are scores of people asking me how the ride has been!!!All I can say is Fantabulous with bumpy ‘s’.

I am loved to bits, and every time I look into his eyes, all I see is my image gleaming through his eyes. The short trips, the early morning call for perfect chai, empty laundry bags, laughing over silly things, simple compliments, jamming the door hard, and sharing similar stance over issues….life has given me lot of precious moments over the past 1 year.

I am not sure, if it happens with any husband-wife duo, but we crave for same kind of food, we talk about the same thing at same instant, we share similar views and ideas, he is becoming more like me and I more like him. We keep each other grounded, being polar opposites that we are; there is this one thing that binds us deep down: Desire to be loved.

As I stepped into the shoes of wife, I found it really hard as my husband was spoilt rotten. He would laze around while I toiled in the kitchen. I could hardly keep my tears locked and often I was heard complaining to my parents. Soon, things changed and I could manage my kitchen and cooking with minimum help from mister and he started hanging around the kitchen more. Surprisingly, even after a four year courtship, it was only after marriage and living-in I realized what a cleanliness freak he was.  Now, don’t assume my life is full of misery. The above are few rainy instances. I am not easy myself, with bouts of emotional aatyachaar; I am one hell of a person to handle. This guy can hold me tight and ask me to shut my mouth without offending me. He gives me the strength to move on in life, to accept the way I am, gives me the security I crave. 

This to you G, for US, for the incredible love story and lives we share.