Its gonna be a long post.To savor the taste,sound and smell of real India you will have to travel in a sleeper class that was the lame reason Dad gave on booking the back ticket from Bangalore in a sleeper class.I don't think the statement has much to do with the love for the ordinary lifestyle it has more to do with monetary gain for it costs just 300 bucks for a sleeper class ticket whereas it costs nearly 2000 for a three tier AC. The changing phase of India was clearly visible on the ticket booking pattern for,there were seats available in sleeper while it was all filled in 3 tier.People are opting for luxury travel as compared to cheap travel and people are ready to shell out any amount of cash for the same.Students,housewives,singles,executives travelling alone can be a major safety issue and AC class promises a safe journey at affordable rates.AC travel offers clean toilets,bed sheets,pillows ,blankets,good food as compared to its poorer sleeper counterpart.Dad had to pull in all strings to get a tatkal,where in which you will have to pay the fare from starting station but,even a last minute booking will assure a seat.We got in Island express from Ernakulam town.There was a family already occupying the whole of six seats.The journey was kind of a reminder that people are not welcome to the whole privacy thing even now.Playing your mobile at high volume or showing the family snap to your fellow passengers,invading the leg space man it was tough.Even my poor Ipod couldn't save me from the noise level outside my bubble.What helped us to cut out our misery was the fact that the journey was an overnight one.At about 9 Dad indicated that it was bed time though 12 is the usual timings for us.We reached Bangalore 10 minutes before the indicated timings,another rare feat if it was about 5 -6 years before.Indian railways have gone a long way from its dubious reputation of being the snail service to a more time conscious service.Things have changed for better and I have only good things to say about their punctuality.

Its my first time to the garden city and i was on a tight schedule,after attending my GD and PI we went for a quick round through the city.I couldn't find much difference between Cochin and Bangalore,may be the cleanliness and the dressing sense,it clearly indicates the free spiritedness of the pub city as compared to the conservative eyes down in queen of Arabian sea.Don't ask how, but, we got stuck at Big Bazzar and with my mom's fascination for any thing free we decided to buy in tops under "BUY 2 GET 1 FREE SCHEME" thanks to the far sightedness of the employees my dad had to stand in queue for about one hour.Initially one of the dresses we selected was returned back owing to its unisex tag,well then why the hell have they placed it in the ladies section? okay,next the billing section didn't have a clue about the whole offer thing and they were calling in staff from every department.If they don't have a data base of their own offers why the hell do they give any?What we saw was poor display of retail management.Even the employees,had a tough time in understanding English as all they knew was Kannada and literally i had to put in every word in hand signals for them to understand.After the awful shopping experienced i logged to go back to the shops back in kerala where, you get personalised treatment + less tension. I rate the shopping experience as 2/10.

On our way back,we were booked into the seats 1,2,4 and after 10 minutes the toilet began to stink,topping it were a pack of guys who were stationed near our seats,the crowd got worse and after 30 minutes there were nearly 25 guys[ think they were going for some excursion] near our seat.Sleeping in such a scenario was out of question and the train was an overnight one an added misery.Leaving me and mom alone dad disappeared into the crowd,after about 15 minutes he came back with a jovial smile"we are shifting to 3 tier AC".Phew!!! may be dad had too much of the savoring the real India idea.We were back into the comfort of the cool chill and the rest of the journey was pleasant.Though we did smell and see the real India ,it was too much to handle may be because we are accustomed to small luxuries in life.Its difficult to burst out of it and join the crowd.India really looked gorgeous from within the glass window and that's all i wanna experience right now,anything above or below it too hard for me to digest.

I loved him.The relationship of four years that came to a full stop just because i was.....Ya i deserve it,i haven't giving him much of attention lately and its quite natural for him wanting to move away.Can't blame anyone right now,no shedding tears,no frustrated talks just plain simple acceptance of the fact that"I have lost him" and i have to accept the truth.Yesterday ,as i looked into his eyes i seemed confused as those were not the warm eyes i have been used to for years.May be i don't deserve him,may be he is better of with someone else.I won't forgive anyone who tries to steal him away from me for,we share "our lives".What i don't understand is why did he had to wait until this last moment to express.I'm lost...i don't have words,Someone promised me a life without him but,I'm not sure if i can move ahead.I used to depend on him for almost all the calculations in life. We were inseparable and where ever i went i had his hands intertwined into mine,the world knows about us.He has my name etched on to his skin and just like that one morning i find him missing from my life.I received the news with shock,i tried calling up my friend for any details and all i received was"Saw him outside while you went to see the professor and then he disappeared".Life has to move on.I will have to buy a new CALCULATOR

There are times when you have millions of things you wanna share but, you fall short of words and no other word is enough to capture your emotion.Time can perform miracles,time can change your outlook,time can alter your wishes.

If you ask me, where I have been hiding for the past one week,I would not have an answer.Was it a route to escape the bad vibes?.Did i realise anything?.Yup!!!don't plan your life for, planning never goes right instead always be prepared with plan B.You won't have to stare blankly at random"?" when the plan A fails. Right?.

When I was small I used to have millions of dreams and with each year i began crossing out some of them out of the list,not that I achieved any but, because I began to realise that those dreams are high up above,something that I may never be able to achieve from bare ground.Right now if you ask me some of those dreams are still alive but they are no where near to the original ones.They look more like skeletons that have suffered worst of alterations.At this point of time even ghostly skeletons seem scary and achieving them seems to be a far stretched dream.

Fate ,luck,destiny they do exist and they can U turn your life making it slip,taking you unaware that you are going to land hard on the floor.I find "HOPE" a little hard to digest and so is "FOR SOMETHING BETTER"

Is ma life worth all these fights?.Is ma life worth hell lot of cash?.Is ma life worth anything at all?.It does!!!.Its worth at least 5 smiles,smiles of people who can't live without me in their lives .Its worth if not for me ,these people's hopes.So,life goes on...new dawn,new search for existence ,a new struggle.

This post is about raw talent.The first time I met Nisha,i rubbed her off as yet another arrogant junior but, her work made me her admirer.There are people,who think writing poems is no big deal as it only requires rhyming words at the end and complicated sentences.For me,the highest point of achievement is to write a good poem,unfortunately I don't think I can in near future.I started ma literary journey through poems but, somewhere down the line I lost the art.Purists call ma poems, a branched version of thoughts.I'm never comfortable with the constrains,I can never introduce rhyming in ma poems.There are poems, which are beautiful even without the rhyme but,they are full of literary puns,sophistication,flowing beauty.Once you start with the first line you don't feel like stopping until the last.I'm more comfortable with stories,Hindi and English here, not the style that's given prime importance but,the idea.You can replace any word with another suitable one,the one of your choice something that cannot be done in poems.My style of writing depicts even the minutest details of the surrounding though time consuming it gives me immense satisfaction to put into paper what i have imagined.Also,ma stories are character centric,one character that drives the whole story.In poems its style that matters,the sentence construction that matters.That's why I believe a good poet is a literary genius.

This poem was given by Nisha for selection process.She is the 1st prize winner for poem writing competition.

A TALE OF VITAL LIES

The darkest hour before dawn

a lonely shore in the bowels in the metropolis

the only witness to this tale of vital lies

the night has an exuberant charm in her

coquettishly igniting the ardent passion

she was their partner in crime

The waves swept over the gravel

glittering in the moonlight

paving the bed where he laid her

the filth stained her bare skin

and soaked her curls

but he unaware and she numb

both succumbing to the spell of the chill.....

I'm too lazy to type whole of the poem.The poem flows like a river and you won't feel like to put an end until the last line.Congrats girl,keep the good work up.

We rocked the fest yet again.Two consecutive years and until next arts ,the cup will be safely placed inside the AEI department.The victory doesn't belong to AEI alone,but whole lot of people who worked day in and out.Leave me out,I don't deserve a mention.What I experienced during the arts was something to cheer about,walls broke,conversations happened,past was forgotten.I'm still not sure if it will continue from Monday,but if it did it would be a regret wiped off.

Okay I do know how to bring out Keats and Shakespeares for,the students I selected bagged 4 out of 9 positions in literary events.Now,what say Mr.You know who?.Even i bagged 3rd prize for my story:30 hours-Autobiography of a terrorist.The short film topic:Silence speaks, brought back some old memories,previous Arts fests ,the long wait ,communication through eyes.The corridors where ,I spent most of ma educative years staring at someone.I never had the courage go and speak to him so, whatever I wanted to speak I conveyed through ma eyes and he understood.We were not even in a relationship but,somehow he read ma thoughts better than anyone else.The brandwars again where,he actually wanted me to go onstage but,ma fear for live talks somehow forced me to give up ma position.As a compensation, I took part in mock press this year,Mock press requires two qualities I lack the most:Humour sense and quick response.I skipped few heart beats but, ma captain and friends assured me that I have what it takes to tackle the press.I enacted MS Dhoni,Indian cricket captain.Cricket is something I'm not quite comfortable with still ,I made people laugh and even the judges bursted out.Considering the fact that I was the only girl of the lot and also,being ma first time most of ma pals were quite surprised to see me crack ma shell.May be the Arts wasn't as bad as I projected it to turn up.I actually got back lot of things I missed,pain,hope and confidence.LIFE GOES ON.

I'm blank,nothing to pen down.I have two B- school applications to fill out,one of which has to be received before 15th,I'm too lazy to do any of the writing.I have two assignments to be submitted on Monday.I have ma fair seminar copy to submit too.I have a bank test on Sunday.I'm to compete in mock press and extempore tomorrow.I have to finish with ma modules[I don't have a clue how many]before next week.I have to apply to NTPC and BHEL by next week.I have a test coming up this week and i have to start from scratch.I have ma lab manual to be filled out by Friday.I have loooots and looots of work to do.

Now for some good stuff,I had the best week ever.Who gets to celebrate their birthday thrice?I did with ma friends, who invaded ma space this Sunday,It was a fun day out with lots of food,pillow fights,gossips and God knows what.I competed for two competitions this week though, I'm not hoping for a prize ,I had a fun day out.I get to see ma Sister after a long time,something that i was looking forward to.Though I couldn't go out with her that day just seeing her made ma day.Ma mobile had a busy week ,with the afternoon conversations getting longer much to ma pleasure,it was kind of a smooth week.I received call letters from two banks and I spent lot of time with ma best friend.

Lets hope the week ahead i will be able to burn of some weight in form of piling work load.

The other side of me!!!

When someone has the guts to tell me, on ma face that ma decisions are wrong,I may take time off to dig into and correct with ma mouth shut. But,once you turn bitchy behind ma back you will have to bear the heat of ma wrath.Dude!!!!! I don't have any idea what so ever about the distant vision of the committee which entrusted you with such a heavy job. I don't know whether you are deserving or not but, a whole section of people don't think you are, you are nothing but a mistake that we can't seem to correct.

I'm doing ma duty to select the best students for the literary events ,the thing is with 500+ students in one house and only few who are interested in writing I'm left with no other option other than to pick from the available few.You do your job with very seriousness only to be booed in by your own mate.Last day i kept ma cool and sorted things out but,when after the events Mr.you know who started bitching behind ma back I just couldn't take his worldly knowledge any more.I said"I quit" maybe it wasn't wisest of decisions.I had ma self respect to guard and for someone to meddle with ma rights was totally unacceptable. His whole attitude of 'the selection was wrong for i found the other houses much better than ours' was something i wasn't expecting.When i was putting forward ma case in front of the captain i peeled of ma goody tag and shouted"If he knows how to create Keats and Wordsworths i will back out,let him do the selection".The captain ,one of the most mature guys in class did bring down the tension by forcing the guy to apologise.I wonder!!! why doesn't he have the guts to speak on ma face,but then he will have to face harsh realities which at his age he is not ready to.Maybe, he is not ready to take in counter questions from ma side I can break the other persons confidence by shooting in questions which is another talent inherited. Mr....we may had issues in the past,but i never let ma past affect ma present if you want we can start with the dirty games,take out the skeletons from the closet but, then don't chicken out. If you are mean to me, I can be the same to you and if you keep on to your own zone i will too and no one will be hurt in this war.

21 Things!!!

21 THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG ON YOUR 21ST BIRTHDAY

You get a soap as your birthday gift from your brother.



You get sick the day before your birthday.



You sleep off before 12:00 am.



You never get to attend any calls or messages because of reason no.3.



You fight with your beloveds at 3 o' clock in the morning.



Your dog bits off your favorite chappals .



You misplace the house keys and can't find the spare one to lock the house.



You run on a late schedule and decides to skip college.



Your angry friends calls you up .



Your forced to attend an early lecture by your dad.Yawn!!!



You waste away your morning in front of the idiot box.



Your BF accidentally reveals about the surprise party to be held for you.



You walk all the way to your college on foot under the hot sun.



You can't message any longer for ,you are out of balance.



Your lunch gets eaten up by friends and you end up with an empty stomach .



You get all smithered on face with the birthday cake.



You find out you have tons on notes to cover.



You forget about some of your friends and they end up complaining"We didn't get the cake".



You can't walk for ,your leg hurts!!! thanks to the wrong chappals.



You never get to taste the chocolates you brought for ,it was empty before you knew.



You reach back home and sleeps off at 10 pm,before the day is officially over.

Reunion 05'

A post on REUNION 05' is long due.I wrote it the evening of the event but, unfortunately i misplaced it I could have written another one but,it wouldn't capture ma emotions in the same way as it did the first time.I kept aside the idea of another post and today i found the piece of paper in ma book.Opal proudly presents to you REUNION 05'

DATE:24/12/08

TIME:5:00 pm

I don't have to be a mirror image of ma past,stuck in the cubicles of wrong doings.I have to shatter the glass walls and let go of ma egos so as to prove that people around me were wrong in their judgement.When I was invited to REUNION 05' it was a stroll back to the memory lanes, to the school that taught me lives valuable lessons apart from the usual dusty CBSE reference books which, I used to open once in a year just before the exams,the school that taught me that labs are not meant for experiments instead its a place from where gossips originate[I still abide by that rule religiously].More important school was a place which gave me countless number of souls who can put through ma stupidity even after 3 years.

Even after countless takes and retakes I kept on committing the same mistakes but, in a different context each time.Seems like the school wasn't successful enough in inducing real life intelligence in me.As for yesterday it was a dream come true to see the xii A madness come alive under the roof.Sam was ready with his PJ's,Riya in her usual chatter self, Manjunath hitting bulls eyes, Devi, Sanju, Jinu and Sneha as always together.Nothing has changed ,it was as if time stood still for 3 +years.There were some visible changes too like Sneha's 3000 rupees valued straight hair,few extra pounds for Jeebs and shedding of few extras for ME.Though i was little aloof initially i busted out of ma shell soon enough to make ma presence felt.I never expected the that kind of an atmosphere,with plenty of food and drinks considering the fact that the organisers didn't ask for a single penny from any of us.I even rang up mom to get ma lunch ready that wasn't necessary as, all of us were served appam and curry.Exchanging hugs,wished ,phone numbers I slipped back to ma days in school.I don't know if all of ma actions in school were justifiable but, no one seemed to bother much.This is one good thing about human attitude people play amnesiac for replacing bitterness with happiness.Its not practical on a long run but 4 hours is too Short of a time to accuse and fight.Me and ma big B left out the idea to scramble our pasts and let the few months happening fill up the bitter sweet memories.The face to face conversation brought tears,laughter and much needed relief.Ma left hand, Doctor gave me the biggest surprise,he wasted ma balance for nothing.The day before we had arrived on a consensus on whether he should arrive for the reunion owing to his medicine exams.He gave me a shocker by being there and also,I was so excited to see Ancy .Even after all this I missed people like Manju ,Nestly ,Divya ,Ruchika ,Aftab who couldn't make it.

Thanks to the whole organising committee especially Jithu for bringing the whole concept to reality.Some memories don't just fade way,it becomes a part of you for eternity.REUNION 05' was one such memory.

THE END

On a random note,i received a text from Jav:Your birthday coming right?.No gifts?

Me:yup bday on 21st........i donno about gifts....u can ask ur best buddy if he intends to get me any..

I'm born Hindu and though there is no monetary or employment benefits involved in being one,still I'm proud of ma religion.I regard ma religion as a part of ma identity and whenever someone put up a yard stick to measure ma beliefs I tend to get little irritated.I have total respect for all the other religions as, I believe the ultimate aim of any religion is the same.

The part of the story happened this week and there isn't a climax yet so,it may not sound interesting to many .I believe i need to vent out ma thoughts somewhere and this is the right place to do so.We were informed last day about three days retreat camp which in turn is an in-stay program for Christians and outstay for others.The point here is that the program was made compulsory for all the students in the college,failed to do so you are bound to pay the fines.What is more annoying is the date and time for the program.Initially for non Christians ,the program was scheduled on Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 8:30 to 4:30 pm.After protests from parents, the management re-introduced the program as one which induces a +ve mental attitude in younger generation.Well,the brochure clearly states the program as the quest to search for the meaning of life .As an engineering student,ma goal in life is predefined and all others are secondary right now.21 years ,I lived ma life with this attitude and it hasn't done any damage,why do i need someone to tell me ma attitude is wrong and I can attain salvation through dance and song?.Iv attended similar programs organised by the college not out of choice though.The concept the person in question put forward then in turn clashed with some of ma value systems.

Iv been giving the whole thing a lot of thought.Why force this kind of things on students who are not interested?.Why make it compulsory?. After the fiasco what hurt me most was the comment made by one of the faculty"Those non Christians interested in attending Sundays program do inform earlier so that accommodation can be provided in rooms of their Christian friends".This statement was booed by ma mates.We don't make friends based on caste or creed,we celebrate Onam,Bakrid and Christmas with the same vigour and unity.Why is the older generation bend on dividing the society based on Religion?.We have the right to follow any religion as per the constitution of India ,why being forced to accept another?.Ma Dad calls it"BRAIN WASHING"

Last day Indian express reported on mass conversion in tribal belts by missionaries.Conversion is based on monetary gain.Most of the tribals are lured in with cash and other luxuries and the only way to lead a life that guarantees them all this is to convert.Here the belief is based on "Gandhi on paper",its certainly not something that is from deep down the heart .To force someone to change their whole life doesn't seem fair.I'm a Hindu and I'm proud of being one.

Can pain come in between me and ma desires?NO!!!.Yesterday, I went in to get the third installment of"HOLE IN THE EAR"saga.Each of the upper earring has its own story to tell, with the first one frankly I don't remember .Reliable sources[Mom] informed me that I got it when I was hardly six months old.I do remember about the next one's journey though and she was first initiated in the year of 2006 .Someone from ma own clan brain washed me into getting an upper stud, and the strangest thing is that I was fooled by her proclamation"It wouldn't pain even a little".I went in the jewellery store to get ma gold stud,much to ma opposition as I wanted to get a silver one.When you are in the border line of "I may get or may not get too ",its better to give an ear to your parents .Shout all you want to and when you feel that they will back out of their promise just because you want it you way ,reduce the volume and reach a settlement after all, if the deal doesn't go through you are the one to loose.Back to the story,I was given the gunshot and it just tickled,the one I got was the stud used in gunshot and the jewellers informed me that I can switch into ma new earrings once the hole is completely healed,they estimated it to be almost one month.Within 2 weeks I started getting some weird feeling,ma body was beginning to react and ma poor ear turned red.I was forced to remove ma stud for two day and on third day as I was all set to insert the little one back in place I realised something:The hole was MISSING!!!! the hole closed up.It was a big disappointment especially considering the fact that I wanted it for quite a long time and I was just beginning to sink in to the new look.I was all set for the next test so, I went back to get it re pierced.That hole too disappeared within one month so ,after two failures I gave up may be this stud thing is not ma cup of tea.Two years later,this August I had his re urge to get the stud back .I went in to the same place ,almost all the staff were quite used to ma sight this time.They advised me to go in for the traditional method of ear piercing ,where you literally pierce through the ears rather than just a small gunshot.Well, it wasn't ticklish feeling then but,it was a journey into an alternate world ,the world where only pain persist and you have no other emotion.After 5 months of ear holidaying, I was gripped by the desire to go in for the third one .Crazy ain't it?ma mom opposed the move with whatever power she had,the fear of seeing her daughter as a Gypsy was gripping her.Finally after wasting a bucket full of ma tears ma dad intervened.He supported me upright but,being a logical man he is was quite confused about the need for a third one.Even I was not sure even still,as when you want something so badly logical explanations doesn't seem to be of any importance.Most of us do things or get things because,we want to .Call it consumerism or luxury but ,the thing is for things we want utility is not a key factor.May be within 3-4 years you will loose fascination and that particular thing gets to be the newest addition in"I own it but, I don't wear it" club.Me and mom went into the shop and I chose a stud which was larger than the one I was wearing then so, I wanted to change the position.Unfortunately, I asked ma mom to change the studs for me,I removed the one I got in August for the first time so,it pained and by the way ma mom was opening it,even the bravest ones will fall apart.She nearly broke ma ears,that's ma mom when asked to put 100% she puts in an additional 100% just to waste her energy.This time too I had the traditional method of ear piercing and it bled a little,this time it was far horrible that the last one .The pain lasted one full day and even now am not okay.So much for ma desire....Can pain come between me and ma desire may be YA!!!!.

BUNNY TALES

I'm finally getting tired of the holidays.Wish i could go back to college,the place i love to hate.College officially started on 5th, and I'm yet to make an appearance.Debates,discussions on ARTS fest are in full swing .I'm deviating from what i indented to post in the first place,I don't think all you people will be excited to hear about ma boring life.First things first,this incident happened 5 months before and it really taught me that most of us are ignorant about the hot topics in college.No one cares about Israel attacks or LTTE camp been captured by Lankan army.So,what are the hot topic being discussed by future engineers?.Here is ma take through a past experience.

Iv a big fetish for earrings,I do blow away a small part of ma not so hard earned pocket money on anything shiny and beautiful.Like any other shopping day I went to Goodwill,in search of the right earring.I made up ma mind and decided to go in for small studs instead of large ones that fill up ma wardrobe. I searched through 100 of small earrings before coming to a halt on a small rabbit earring.The very next day i wore ma rabbit to college,and all the girls seemed bowled by ma choice . Someone even commented i looked cute with the rabbit in ma ears.That very evening while in canteen i noticed Samir staring at me "di show me your ear" he said.Well,i was quite apprehensive initially mainly ,owing to the fundamental rule"GUYS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN GIRLY ACCESSORIES". He went on staring at ma rabbit and all of a sudden his face began to shine"I love it!!!" he said with a grin on his face.The incident was long forgotten but, not until the next week .

The very next week during L n T recruitment of which i wasn't a part still,i wore the same Rabbit earrings.While walking through the corridors George stopped me, he was giving me the same look Samir gave me a week before"Aren't you wearing a playboy bunny?".Transformation from rabbit to bunny was fun but, PLAYBOY was definitely not fun.George called in almost everyone and showed them ma earrings"Look what Opal is wearing:A playboy bunny",most of the guys were giving me weird looks."I never knew" I told them innocently."You don't know play boy bunny?" Vish asked."Well, Guys common,the only book I'm accustomed to is ma engineering books,not playboy magazines " i tried to hide in ma embarrassment behind ma inflated courage.I saw Samir in between the crowd with the grin of his.So, he knew it all along and never let me know Grrrr.....I removed the earring to avoid further embarrassment and hid it safely in ma locker.Me and ma playboy bunny became instant stars in the campus.Well, now you know what worldly knowledge you need to survive the hurricane called college?

Ma new year started on a wrong note.Guess, i will have to get it out of ma head and move on.Once we start giving too much attention to coincidences,we get consumed by them.For instance,when you are about to go for something important and something small goes wrong,like you find your lucky shirt ruined it gets into your head that the work won't go as planned.In ma case most of the time it doesn't go well but, ma friends feel that there is a phsycological angle to that.When something does go wrong the end result starts getting calculated by the brain and it gets stored.The motivational factors are decremented and we end up getting an equivalent result as we wouldn't want to put in at least 1% more because we have already accepted defeat.Is it true?? well, i don't know . Ma mom calls it Signs of God,when something is not going to be in right odds,things,places,sequence all start relating itself to a previous bad experience but,most people don't relate to them.It so happens that we think about it after the incident and some who just don't know what to do with these signs.I'm a big believer of these signs and it doesn't make much of a difference if any of the readers feel I'm crazy but, the thing is am not the power to stop things from happening as they are.I prepare ma self so that the aftermath of the incidents don't alter ma life.

New year is supposed to nature new hopes but, it seems i have dead end ahead.I'm not ready to give up yet for, life is worth a fight.People,makes up pre consumed notions about others without going deep into their personalities.You have the right to accuse someone in front of others when you are perfect else,let it be buried in your heart. To me college is nothing more than a place where i can educate ma self on important lessons in life.Bonds,issue... i don't wanna relate ma self with any of these and if someone feels its overconfidence what can i say?. I'm not a person who likes to display ma weaknesses in front of everyone.Some do know how fragile I'm and those are ma best pals for others ,I'm what I'm not in real. Deep down even if i burn i prefer to keep ma calm outside and if anyone thinks this is overconfidence ,what can i say?.I know that I'm not so intelligent so as to put ma self in front of ma professors and to challenge them.I'm a student and the limited knowledge i have is from those who took pain to teach me a part of what they have learned.I'm like sponge all set to absorb whatever on ma way, good and bad.Its a constant struggle to eject out of ma system, the things i think is not good. Its a constant learning process.They say the true learning-teaching process starts once you are in real world,i am not sure if am ready for such harsh realities but, sooner or later i will have to start accepting things as they are. There are places where i would like to clarify ma self not with at most pleasure but,places where wrong notions can affect me on a long run.May be after 4 months i can place ma self in a position where ma professional and personal life hasn't have to be subjected to autopsy by those involved in teaching process.I do respect all those involved in ma evolving process but, there is always a thin line between correcting and dictating. I believe that few people who do have a right on how ma life should be is ma parents and 2 of ma close friends. There are a few who think I'm capable of greater things and i have been wrong about some whose criticism meant nothing more than statements enforcing the above said statement.Well, I'm always open to constructive criticism and I'm always ready to learn new things as long as everyone knows where to divide the line.

I found this interesting entry in ma dairy.A reminder of how 2008 made ma brain work overnight.

I don't have anything against the men community and i do agree to ma guy friends that they are a misunderstood pack but, there are some exceptions.The ones that disgrace the very word "MALE".Yesterday,on our way back from temple me and mom decided to take short cut back home.Its not usual of me to accompany mom and that too to temple but, somehow i was with her walking through the dimly lit street.As we reached the main road to our house i noticed a man,talking over his mobile.You must be wondering"Why did i notice him in the first place?".With his high decibel conversation to not only the person on the other side of the line but, also to the entire region one could not help laughing at his typical Mallu stupidity.Its just a common sight in every small little village to see MALLU's ears glued to the headset tuning in the radio.This guy,obviously a show off was showing off his mobile.With least interest we walked past him.Suddenly,the guy started shouting" I there you need me.I busy,you busy but ,I lift".OOhhh even ma first standard cousin can speak better English than that and he expected me and mom to be impressed by his broken English?.When someone hurts the male ego,they back off until ,then its deliberate attempt to impress.Keeping that in mind i acted out as if I'm having a conversation with mom"I'm there if you need me mom.I'm busy nowadays so are you but, may be i can give you a lift someday". The guy,had his skin peeled of after hearing our conversation,may be he disappeared into thin air after this because, we haven't seen him after that incident.Guys think that they can impress girls with their flashy mobile or accented English but,Guys!!! 21st century girls aren't dumb enough to fall for those cheap tricks.

Sometimes i do think,why do the roadside romeos do have a problem with us walking down the street after 6 pm?.Why do they crowd around malls passing weird comments?,get into a crowded bus right through the front door?.How many guys can you find who opens up the door for you,offers you the ladies seat they have occupied?.The society is filled with male chauvinists,who think it their birth right to dictate over the female community after all, God created Adam first.What they need to know is without US the fellows will starve to death,their laundries will pile up,they will have to sleep in their own mess.Give us the respect we command.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BLOGGERS.

Image:cartoonstock

Iv earned every right to enjoy ma life in the way i want to.I'm not here to make up excuses for ma behaviour for, ma actions are justifiable.Things are going smooth without the regular ups and downs but, things are piling up on professional side.Labs are here,all set to ruin ma new year i have to put up ma bravest face and be wise enough to face the rapid fire rounds.

Trip to Trissur to ma friend Solo's home was total fun. The royal palace field trip was a trip to the past,it amused me as how people could survive without all the gadgets like Tv,washing machine and Laptop.We hit City centre mall,where me and Smi found escalator a fun ride.We were jumping up and down,while trying to figure out the mystery of elevators we gave people around some moments to laugh on.Staying in Cochin hasn't helped me a bit i realised. Back home a big feast awaited us ,i could stop eating only when i couldn't stuff in food any longer. The journey back and forth was fun,saddened by the fact that we couldn't take much pictures of the trip,me and Smi was trying our very best to capture our emotions in the bumpy and shaky bus still ,we managed to take enough to make other's jealous.We put a stop to our madness only when our near by seat got occupied.Was back home by 7 feeling all good,about the whole journey.

People, if you are not cool enough for others so be it.The definition may vary based on people and situations and whatever you have done to get that coolness may backfire some day.Be natural, be yourself and don't fake it out.There are people out there who can spot you out from so be it so, while being a part of the drama don't loose your identity.

Had a blast yesterday ,the details which i will fill in later.I'm just too lazy to type write now.The only reason why I'm filling up the gap is that i don't like the page to be blank.Each day is a memory and not filling up the blog for one day makes me feel that iv missed a chance to revisit ma life at some point.Without post, a day in ma life goes "BOOM",it just vanishes off record.

I'm sick of dirty politics .An engineer was beaten to death by an MLA in UP.The reason is the most hideous one i have ever heard in ma life,for refusing to pay 18 lakhs for Mayawathi's birthday bash.Exhorting money for celebrating a birthday?What difference do they have that separates the lawmakers from the bandits?.At least the bandits rob for feeding their hungry family.Its just too shameful as an individual to shout it out to the world that we have the largest democracy.Mayawathi's 1000 crore birthday bash won't fill empty stomach,won't create new job opportunities,won't help to reduce crime rates in UP.Its a an extravagance,the hunger to prove the money power.Imagine what the situation will be if she ever by luck becomes PM of India? may be her birthday will be declared a public holiday ,adding up another non working day into the already huge number of harthals and bandhs which are officially non working .I wish she never becomes PM but,this is India and anything can happen here.With half of the voters illiterate,vote bank may swing on surnames and caste/religion.In India anything is possible,the laws get changed even constitution to appease the masses, while rest of the less fortunate ones have to put up with almost anything from 49.5% reservations to terrorist attacks.

Most of the politicians spend half of their life time behind black cats,bullet proof vehicles and trips abroad.How the hell will they know anything related to an ordinary voter like you or me?.Here politics is not performance oriented,throw out those who don't step up,the ones who do not fulfill promises.Most of us either have a left or right orientation and progress card doesn't seem to be the criteria for bringing a government to power.Its quite complicated world of betrayals and make ups,your friends becomes foes and foes friends in a matter of 5 years and sometimes, i wish if ma one vote could make a difference.

Now we have people in power and they act as if they know everything in fact the truth is that they know nothing.Try dumping the waste in front of mayor's house then she will understand how difficult its to live in a smelly city like Cochin.Try making all these ministers pay for all the foreign trips they make for insane reasons then ,they will realise the real value of a tax payers money.The only thing governments do is to accuse the opposition and vice verse.Be it Athulay,who still holds the post of a minister after his ridiculous comments .He is the most unpopular character right now and the rulers are trying every trick up their sleeves to protect him just because he represents minority.I think,he doesn't understand the pain of families who lost their dear ones in the line of duty.He should loose one of his own blood to understand or may be he is too dumb to analyse the situation like everyone else do,someone better check his academic records[i bet he hasn't passed his exams].Pakistan needed an advocate and Minister gave them a perfect route to escape their wrong doings.Well,what do we do ?all you voters close your eyes and play Gandhi's 3 monkeys

Hear no evil.

Speak no evil.

See no evil.

Wish i was deaf,dumb and blind.

This post is all about 3 girls.The first one who is proud to represent the hopes of millions of Indians.The second and third who thinks being "Middle class " is so not it and who doesn't give a damn about the dreams of millions of people.

The first person on say in Miss World 1st runner up Parvathy Omanakuttan,who put an end to the crown drought after a gap of 5 years.She made us all proud with her confidence ,attitude and humility.She had no problem in acknowledging her background and her upbringing may be the reason why glued to the television sets,lakhs of Indians households cheered for her .In her introduction video she did come across to me as a girl proud to represent the heritage and culture of Indian soil. She may or may not be coached but, her eyes seemed warm and genuine.

On the other hand super bitches like Shambhavi and Anmol[Ex-Roadies 5.0] just make me wanna hate ma idiotic box so much that throwing it out seems the only perfect solution to escape from their BHAKWAS talk show G-Talk.I still remember the comment the no brainies made during one episode.

"Taking change from a cabie is so ...eeewww....so dirty and filthy,so sweaty his palms will be".

And what the hell do you expect miss beauty queens of someone who works his ass off to feed his family.Will he be dressed in Armani suit smelling D&G perfume?.Crap ,these two represent a class of spoilt generation which has so twisted attitude that clubbing and shopping seems the perfect solution to get over from the terrorist attacks.They are a shame to an entire generation which is branded "Vocal".Count the number of hate sites in their names and then you will realise how UN-Popular these girls are.

I hate people who insults any section of society and thrive on those insults to make them look cool.Fake accents,cultivated attitude ,million buck smile ,they represent just .0025% of total population who is ignorant of larger than life issues.Poverty,unemployment,politics do they relate to anything?like, Miss shambhavi who on being asked who the present Indian president is blurted out Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam's name.They are barbie dolls who are better off in their glass castles nothing better than that.

Shutting ones eyes to issues won't solve them instead, it aggravates and gives an opportunity for others to take advantage of one's ignorance.When one starts speaking on change and the corrupt system what they don't realise is that they themselves are the ones who have lead to such a condition.Changes don't happen in just a day it takes time,efforts and patience.If there are no one to plan and think about the future its, better to leave the issue to the ones who have taken care of the situation for a long time but, then you will loose you right to speak on CHANGE.

Am 21 and ma eyes are wide open even beyond ma boundaries.

I was never good at writing improvement .I was always blessed aplenty by ma university with more than expected marks.I never felt it as necessary to jump into the league of people who have taken improvement as a hobby or people who are never ever satisfied with their marks. I wrote ma last improvement in semester 3, for C programming as i felt injustice has been mended out.I wasn't as bad as the university marks projected me to be so, armed with determination i applied for improvement ...what i didn't know was, i will be running out on fuel after ma regular exams.Still, putting a brave face i wrote ma improvement and scored 15 marks more. I closed the chapter on improvement that day and taught ma self to be happy with what's in hand. There were occasions where i wanted to jump into the bandwagon but, i restrained ma self owing to past experience.This time even after scoring second highest score i chose to write the CST improvement"What hell!!!" people exclaimed .It wasn't going to change ma decision based on the moment's impulse.Let me burst the righteous code,ma decision was also based on the fact that, if most of the people now lagging behind me by 15-20 marks achieve their targeted score then ma mark for the last semester will be pointless and if i can bring about the same percentage increase in ma marks i will be scoring a match point.In hunger without even thinking about ma own attitude i decided to write in spite of ma brain telling me not to.The exam was held 7 days after the last regular exam, unexpected things cropped up and i was shuttling between places.Within days i was in lazers paradise eating and sleeping in random manner.Last semester i found CST a tough cookie to crack owing to the problematic approach,I'm good with problems but ,CST belonged to a special class called graphical problems.The question paper drew ma breath away,though i managed to get 3 problems fully correct and 2 problems half i wasn't satisfied.The extra papers i requested for hit an all time high of 11 ,lastly i had to cut so many single papers out for, i hadn't written anything in them.I was tensed and nauseous after being griped by the fear of 40-[Fail].As i walked out of the hall i met with gloomy faces all around.Most of them had written the paper even worse than me.I dumped ma text book in the back of the car vowing never to open it again.When the results came in me and ma girlfriend scored the highest but, there were 23 supplies in ma class, the highest in the whole college.

2 days before the exam ma best friend reminded me "to study",that's when it stuck me i had to get ma book back.I spent some quality time with Nicholas chart, bode plot ,root locus soon, i was slacking driven by nothing ,not the enthusiasm or the vigour .I knew the task of getting even 1 mark more was impossible.Filled with confusion i contacted some of ma very close friends to know their take on "Whether i should give the exam a miss".most people with a concern for the money i spend for applying asked me to give it a shot as i had nothing to loose.If i scored less than ma existing marks will stay else, the new one.I went to the exam hall yesterday to find it near empty .Most of ma mates backed out.The question paper was even worse than the first one.The only comforting part was the theory.This time too i got 3 questions right and 2 questions half right.The effect is same i suppose.Lets ,wait for the results

By the way I'm done with improvements.

To let someone know that they don't have a place in your life can be quite an affair.One can't bang on and speak out the truth on his/her face.The next thing one can do is to "AVOID".Avoid to a point where the other person feels that he/she is stuck in the wrong company.

In real life i had to put into action the above gruesome attitude once.This very person who clinged on to me for popularity,friends and ma NOTES!!!.I shooed her away from ma life the day i realised she was a parasite,thriving on ma life.I avoided her to the ground zero level i could lower ma self but,she acted as if it didn't matter to her for she was an innocent lamb.She succeeded in projecting herself as the victim in front of everyone.

The thing is, a third person will always feel that no matter whose mistake it is,it always due to the loud person.The innocent actors/actresses always escapes the spotlight and enters the Safe zone.She acted out as an innocent barbie doll spitting out venom from the corners and amazingly no one noticed except few.

After 6 months of issues suddenly, she came in to realise what a friend i was or may be not and decided to crash ma inbox with her stupid no-sense messages.Well, who cares as all her messages went straight to auto delete box from ma inbox.Yesterday, i was trapped with no place to hide as i was in conversation with another friend of mine.She was in her usual elements:ANNOYING and patiently i completed one sentence at a time for her queries.Then, she started her lecture on AE UNITED and friends for ever.OOOoooo.....i literally hit ma head on the table as i dozed of during the lecture.What else can i do?Hear her fake thanks giving speech?.Finally i asked" do you still think we are friends?" and as expected the million times re rehearsed script.I already gave her what she wanted,the queen bee title and all ma guy friends.I'm happy for not being happy for her as the farther I'm from her the better.I can't understand what does she want from me? please don't tell me its "forgiveness" I'm not that dumb to believe she does regret all what she has done.I'm left kingdom less, enjoying ma last few days as an ordinary person out of limelight.I don't have guys or fame in ma pocket to share then, why can't she leave me alone?.All brainless bimbos line up, you have a tough competition.Okay!!!i should stop insulting people or rather BIMBO'S through ma Blog.I'm not silly enough to jump into your smile and leave all the past behind.I hold them very near and to fake as if I'm really gonna miss ma class and ma mates after s8 is really irritating.Ooh!!! God, frankly I'm not gonna miss most of them may be few but, for the rest I'm more than happy not to cross paths ever again. Iv got sick and tired of politics and all the "AE UNITED " thing. We have arts and sports this semester.To hang on to the legacy created by our seniors is gonna be real tough.We bagged both arts and sports last time. I was actively involved but, none of ma mates were ,owing to their differences with seniors.Everyone sat one the side bench watching the fun and really questioning the efforts. This time, things are different as whatever you do , no one recognises your contributions and the front liners always gets to grab the headlines.Why work for people who treat you like scum bag?.I better shut ma mouth and do whatever assigned to me just because its a team and i don't want the team to be let down due to petty differences.

I MAY FORGIVE BUT, I WILL NEVER FORGET.

I have nothing to say.People ,please take care of your parents,love them,try to understand and respect their feelings.You may never get another chance, another life time to redo your actions.Your actions may leave a permanent scar,and you may have to live with that for your whole life.Many may wonder"How can a 21 year old give advice on lives most valuable lesson".Places,people all influence ma thought process.For the time being these are ma "RIGHTS".
Some people,just refuse to grow up and no matter what .We have to prepare ourselvesfor the worst.I was shocked to see the state of ma room today.Books were strewn,Cd's out of the shelf,Ma laptop used indiscriminately.Should i keep ma mouth shut?.To expect any action on behalf of ma parents seems a distant dream.Ma privacy has been invaded .I'm an individual and there are things that i don't expect people to do in ma absence,exactly those very things were done.I don't feel like going through yet another argument session.So,this one is for you jerk"Stay out of ma life".You are 4 years younger to me,i don't need your parenting tips.I know how to do things of ma own,i don't need a CID to look into ma secret world,I don't need a hacker to enter into ma accounts.
Everything for the past few days seems totally out of control.All i can do is to stay at a distance ,watching ma parents . I'm happy that they are supporting each other,during tough times.No accusing fingers, no arguments, no angry faces.I'm keeping ma cool,in spite of whatever that jerk has done.I don't wanna stretch it long for i got very little time.Until next time ,its Opal signing off.