MIRROR, MIRROR on the wall

I spend my boring weekends reading and spending a considerable amount of time surfing the net. I am an avid blogger since 2006, the year when I decided to get away with the habit of putting my thoughts on a dairy cause it presented an array of complications from, my brother sneaking into my personal life via my diaries to finding a new diary every year. My transition from paper to e-pages was quite smooth. I never felt the urge to publish my real name cause, I like the aura of mysterious charm and the privacy that blogosphere provides me. The news of my personal blog was shared with a few as it provided me the perfect platform to let know the other person what I am thinking at the moment, it eased out lot of conflicts within and gave me a perspective to start afresh each day. I wrote cause I wanted to, I am no wizard when it comes to words, just that I can manage my words and have my adjustable grip over em. As time passed my style evolved too and slowly but, steadily this blog became a part of my life. Even today, some of the old memories bring out smile on my lips. 5 years have passed and this blog has been always my pillar of support.

Over time my tastes have changed rapidly from teenage blog following-family blog following-fashion blog following, I amuse myself during each milestone periods of my life. My current favourite? Well, fashion blogs and I have quite a few bookmarked. May be age is catching up with me, or is it the desire to look good and the happiness that reflects when you see someone wear something that you don’t have the guts to wear?. What is that I like about fashion blogging ?the colours, stories, trend alerts, mix ‘n’ match and whole lot more to be precise.

I am not much of a dresser myself, I can easily camouflage myself into the regular looking crowd and you will never spot me J. I look like your regular neighborhood not so stylish 23 year old .I am faced by so many constrains that holds me back from experimenting with my looks

1. Socio-environmental constrains: In my place sleeveless/shorts/peep toes/attention seeking colors are a definite NO-N). You can give the above a miss if you have a chauffeur to drop you from the place you want to go to your home, but if you have parents like mine who insist that you be part of a larger environmental movement by traveling in public transport then the above constrain is definitely applicable to you.
2. Even the climate (hot/humid/rains) doesn’t allow me to wear my heart out.
3. Budget constraints are non-existent because I have a job that pays me well.
4. Absence of any major retail giants in your city can be yet another constrain.

Sandwiched in between all these constrains if I don’t manage to impress you how can you blame me huh?. No one expects me to give em a piece of advice on fashion so, it’s all fair.

After going through the all the blogs I did realise something about myself, that I do have an enviable collection of earrings and after numerous number of thinking-analyzing-rethinking I decided that I would start a new blog showcasing my earring collection and thus, A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING came into existence. This particular blog is not like my personal blog where, nothing what I write doesn’t has to be understood by the reader. They may not make any sense most of the time, not if you don’t know the REAL me. I wish ki the other blog (, A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING) get a small fan/critic base and people read/reject/throw stones/reject my so called obsession with earrings. For that matter of fact MIRROR will always be my first love, the thing I cherish for being PERSONAL. This might clear some airs about posts from A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING getting published on my facebook wall quite frequently.

I do follow some blogs religiously, some which I can relate to, some which I like from a distance, some which I admire well, most of the places I may/may not leave a comment based on what catches my fancy. Most of the times I just read and make a quite exit as I don’t want the reader to be pressurized into replying to my comment or as a return of favor visit my blog. This blog (MIRROR) has given me so much freedom, so much courage to write on/about things I care and it will continue to remain so.

And it rains

Moments that takes my breath away

Moments where I feel blessed to be alive

Moments that inspires me

Moments that takes me to the wonderland with em

Moments ....

Before the rains

The municipality appointed grass cutters were irking not just my dog's sensitive ears but, mine too.

The sun was hiding behind the clouds.

My neighbor has set afire all the left over coconut branches; with the smoke slowly drifting towards my window the sight was not pretty.

I ran to close the window shut, and it rains....

After the rains

Can't seem to complain about smell of fresh cut grass

The gorgeous golden sun beams peaking through the silver clouds...magical

Smoke overpowered by the small drops of rain, the view priceless

I keep my window open taking in a large puff of air before the smell of grass subdues, I catch a ray of golden gleam before the sun says GOODBYE...

Mesmerized I stand near my window grill, savoring the beauty of nature at its best. Definitely, one of the best days of my life.

PS- Not the best of the writing but, just wanted to capture a frame of the visual I saw today, the overwhelmed feeling that I sensed.

Shopping for life

This story happened few months before and there is a reason why I am bringing it up today. On one of my visits home, as I was unpacking, I saw my brand new Levis curve id sitting untouched underneath all that piles of clothes. I took it up, wore them and went straight to my mom .As usual she was busy with her paper works and it took me more than 10 minutes to get her attention. After walking up and down the stairs for quite some time she gave that weird look from behind her glasses and asked me” I see, you have been walking up and down for quite some time. Shoot it!!”. With my enthusiasm running high I settle in a chair next to her “Amma you didn’t notice I bought a new Jeans”. She sheepily gazed at my jeans and nodded.”Well, I bought it from Levis” I continued with my conversation. And for people who know my mom the next question is quite obvious “How much ?”. I knew this awkward moment would come, but I seriously don’t like hiding anything from mom so, I tried to keep down my voice as much as I can and muttered ”3K +”. She nearly dropped her pen and looked at me with her brow crouched at a weird angle. She picked up the conversation minutes later and stared tapping her fingers in a rhythmic fashion on the table “don’t you think it’s little costly for a pair of saggy jeans”. There is no point arguing with her so, I nodded my head and sat through the whole lecture of how money is precious. Whole of the incident happened AFTER I was placed and earning. One week after, we went to a Saree boutique while I slouched on the chair waiting for my mom to finish her shopping. She picked up a saree and trusted the bill on to my hands. As I had a look at the bills my heart skipped a beat, 6K? And that too for a silly Saree one would wear to maximum 3-4 occasions per year? What happened to the whole cash is precious thing?. My jeans would definitely have a better lifespan that the saree. On our way back I bought up the conversation and this was my mom’s answer” Well Levis is costly but for a saree the money that I spent is clearly visible, anyone having a first glance at this would know it’s worth 5k but, your baggy jeans does it look like it cost you a bomb?. I was so angry that I kept my mouth shut and in yet another week’s time forgot all about it until last day when I went in to buy a shawl. I love my FabIndia shawls and after spending 1.9 k over a purple one I found that the shawl doesn’t exactly match with the shade of my top L. I was vaining and complaining the same to my fiancé and in between all the drama he put up the formidable question “Anyways how much did it cost you?. Max 300-400!! forget it”. I had this lump down my throat when I corrected his amount as 300*6. I could hear nothing but, silence from the other end and then a sudden explosion ”WHAT THE HELL!!!You spending so much over a silly shawl”. I couldn’t hold back my tears and burst off ”I am earning, and it I can’t enjoy a part of it then why should I even bother to work?”. Well, that gave Mr. MBA some management gyaan in HR.

I seriously don’t know why my parents hate branded stuff and still don’t mind spending double or triple for a local boutique stuff. Do we wear clothes to impress others or to feel good about ourselves?

Image courtesy:ZARA

I was always made to believe that love was blind. For me the theorem had a loophole somewhere and never had my money vouched for, I still had a doubt about my apprehensions ”What if it’s not true for the majority?”. There existed people around me who still believed in the age old wise talk. Some engagement pictures of a friend of mine proved that my doubting genes were all in place and working fine .Love isn’t blind, it has all the senses intact well, as a matter of fact it can see things most of us can’t, feel, hear and even smell better than a person who is not in love. Love as an entity is like a human, with presumably better senses .If not how can you explain the phenomenon of Love-Breakup-Just Friends? . After college the surprises kept on pouring, Facebook showed me changing facets of relationship as “status”. XXX engaged to ZZZ and I hold back my bewildered face for a moment and think then what about YYY? .The same YYY who refused to be away from XXX whole through the college life?. Everyone talked about how a perfect couple they were, even professors would agree on the same. They used to be inseparable with XXX keeping aside all her works so that YYY could submit his lab records, XXX constant visit to the classrooms to make sure YYY was properly eating!!!!. After college you see XXX’es status as engaged to ZZZ (Obviously a millionaire NRI hunk). Now I start wondering “what about good old love stories with happy endings?” .Few love stories have stood test of time and luckily mine falls in that rare category. 3 years and counting until WEDLOCK-DEADLOCK J. I couldn’t imagine myself loving someone and spending my whole life with someone else, for me my love was more about dreams that I weaved and for me to break a nest to build a castle was not acceptable. I wanted to share my aspirations, dreams and life with a single person so, I settled in for a guy whom my family would approve of. The guy turns out to be everything my family wants, everything I want and how lucky can I get?. My LOVE is going strong and the reason for it is “MY LOVE WAS WEARING A LONG SIGHTEDNESS SPECTACLES “.See, LOVE isn’t blind it’s just an opportunist.

1. THE SPIRIT OF AIRBUS

A fine morning to end a series. Today I will be penning down the last of the series, snapping all the clogged emotions , all the while cherishing the little moments of togetherness
Okay!!!what do I miss the most in airbus...no prize for guessing its

PEOPLE and MOMENTS

I really can't figure out the order of prominence with which I miss them .Both of the above seems to haunt me down in ma loneliness, poking and pricking my consciousness.

PEOPLE

People, coming from a close nit environment I was not sure whether I would fit into the corporate culture. Initially it was self compelled exile refusing to mix, I was curling up in ma shell. Malvika would nudge me to come along for lunch and slowly I was walking out of my comfort zone. Soon enough, myself and Mallu became 12 O clock lunch partners.
The bond between the 5 of us was strong, beyond the workspace or the corporate race, 5 of us were turning out to be a surprise package...pulling each other's leg, irritating, WE bought the much needed freshness of youth into the ODC. No one was spared, not even the guys from TESTING!!
For us each day was a fresh beginning and start of a new struggle. Somewhere down the lane, even when pressure was looming over heads or when each of us were singing a completely different tune, we just had enough time for that 10 am chai or simple silly jokes.
Innumerable jokes cracked, some worth 100 million bucks, some poor duds .I still remember majority of them, most of them aimed at top guns we merried away extending 10 minutes break to 45 or even an hour. The 7th floor A wing balcony hold lots of memories, the lookout for good looking miniature creatures(that’s how you get the view from 7th floor), the strong wind blowing against a day’s frustration or even the Malayalam sentences that fills up our conversation much to the annoyance of Rahul n Laxmin. What stays with me is not just the aroma of morning coffee but, the smell of memories some sweet, some bitter.
The series is not long enough to highlight the human and inhuman sides of inmates of AIRBUS but, a short peek into the lives of colorful people wouldn’t hurt right?. So, here goes

1. Malvika Manoj

My work buddy cum lunch buddy. A prism, which takes in the dull white light and refracts into a colorful rainbow . A shopping junkie like me, our talks range from one extreme to other. An absolute delight.

2. Tinu Babu

Cubicle mate and weekend mate. It’s the long serious chats with her that I have enjoyed the most. Pocket full of mysteries as she likes to keep her life to herself. But, even with a bad start I found someone to whom I can confide my secrets.

3. Manish Mohan Unnithan

Versatile guy-early morning bird who listens to all my ramblings. Focused!! he knows his aims and desires. Clean slate, and it’s always nice to have someone who can go on listening to you for hours without even battling an eyelid.

4. Laxmindhar Mahapatra

One moment I think I got this guy all figured out and the next moment I have to convince myself I know nothing. Confused and never resisting the flow of life. I have wished if he could just pour out. He doesn’t and the more turmoiled he becomes deep inside.

5. Rahul Sharma

Encyclopedia-Fun loving and BRRRRRR...........He has this don’t care attitude stuck on his face for most of the time. Any issue with the system you know whom to go and seek help.

6. Pchow

My team -lead. Acts her age but sometimes in her company acts very much under aged. Likes to watch all the drama and keeps her opinions to herself.

7. Jaya

Respect. It takes lot of patience to guide a bunch of unruly kids like US. I go sit on her desk and go on talking .Even during the Tsunami of work load over her she has never asked me to keep my mouth shut. I do respect her attitude towards work and respect her as an individual.

8. Ragul

No comments there. Sweet guy

9. Raj

Respect. No fuzz guy he is one person who used to support me and Mallu all the way. Realistic in his approach. Have seen him slouching in his chair when the work used to be at its peak .You can see him cracking occasional but, impactful jokes on Malvika and that’s when you know C++ work modules are closed.

Then there are lots of people…Srini, Manas, Viji, Anshu, Sujay,Logesh, testing team and lots more…..people who made my stay in AIRBUS worthwhile, people who made my day bearable, people who walked past and smiled, people who made me realize what work culture is all about.

Now for the moments….

MOMENTS

Tea times, Lunch times, small small arguments, teasings, tears, chocolate moments, meetings, Junkyard grooves, DJ nights ,Xmas celebrations, lies, delivery , late night work,ccd,EC1,the final farewell....I have pictures of millions of moments captured in ma memory and I don't have a guarantee of what time may do to these memories but, they will be always preserved in a corner of ma heart.

Adieus AIRBUS, thanks for making me what I am today, thanks for testing my patience, thanks for giving lots of amazing people as friends, thanks for teaching me about life beyond textbooks, thanks for everything!!!

No 2.

No.2 THE DEADLY MEETING

Events of yesterday spurred up my writing genes and I am back with the second last entry to the series 10 things I miss about AIRBUS ODC. When the series was in its nascent state I had noted down all the things I missed in a notepad but, the spot 1 and 2 was left blank as it was my instinct that I wanted to project not the prepared speech delivery.

Before even beginning to sound like a developer let me give a brief description on how the spot 2 was found from a trivial affair.

Status meetings: I received a mail from Gurgaon yesterday regarding the weekly status meeting which goes something like this "1 week since we have chatted and shared our ideas .Let's meet @ 11:30 today”. Such an informal invitation to a status meeting. What happens in the meeting is even more fun cross talks, mute talks, play talks, official talks I mean we cover every aspect of the word "TALK". This set me thinking……..

If there is anything I miss about AIRBUS it gotta be the 10:00 am Status meeting. A time when random rumblings became words of wisdom, ideas meant more headache to developers, bowed brows of manager meant trouble.

The time was odd, with most of the late birdies nearly missing the status meeting or early birdies missing out on the long tea breaks. The venue was the usual Airbus meeting room, sparsely decorated with a white board a conference desk for managers and few chairs.

I have some very good dreams associated with the white board, dreams specifically cause I would be half asleep most of the time Raj(Archi) had tried to induce some System wisdom into our heads. I would just dream away.....screeching halt to diverting subject. Lets just concentrate on topic at hand...see this is exactly what happens back behind the closed doors....the manager starts with one topic and after 15 minutes of never ending negotiation all of us would be arguing on a very different topic , deviating from the agenda.

OVER INFLATED OPTIMISM

Every manager would like to hear the golden word "DONE" from his subordinates so, he/she can mark the excel sheet row as done , shining in the colour RED .What happens is…. a task 50%-60%-80% completed is DONE for the manager .No one ever thinks of the left 50%-40%-20%, net effect under estimation of efforts.

ANGRY BIRDS

The meeting is not short of drama, the above mentioned over inflated optimism triggers angry bird symptom in many, refusing to accept the short deadlines, questioning the way things are done, giving others a reality check. But, their whole sincere effort is utter waste , this can be clearly seen in the next meeting .

NOD-O-NOD

Some of the mates are NOD-O-NODS....

MANAGER: can you do this within a day

PERSON: NOD

MANAGER: can you give your 20% effort to x, 40% effort to Y ...we still got your some part left

PERSON: NOD

MANAGER:????

PERSON: NOD

See these are super humans one who can multitask and they are the most dangerous one's ….they gives the manager an impression all of us are there for partying while, they are working hard.

DEAD-DYING-DIED

Some like me don't even bother to react to all the chaos in the room. Conveniently seated in an elevated altitude, we are keepers of all the happenings, never to get involved in any of the above said activities. We call ourselves DEAD community. The ones who do all the drone work, ones who don't have any right to speak up, ones who cannot say NO.YES , that's people like US.

SARCASTIC SMILIE

Of many smiles that fill the glass doors, SARCASTIC SMILIE is the best to watch. The over inflated optimism when triggered gives an allergic reaction to some WISE people or realists who are yet another branched out species sharing the same branch as ANGRY BIRDS but, unlike them never picks up a fight. They keep their roots grounded and they speak through brain waves

MANAGER: can you get this work done by today?

SMILIE(through brain waves) :KEEP ON WISHING!!!IN YOUR DREAMS :)

After all the drama when all of us come out of the room, nothing would have been achieved not the target, not the tasks just plain waste of an hour when one could have gone out and had some hot piping tea. I so miss the daily status meeting filled with all the drama unlike the fun filled ones in NSN.