This story takes you to a journey,introduce you to people and places and it can get annoyingly long.

As i placed my 5th stained white cup in line,admiring it charm and voluminous pear shaped curve,My know-it-all buddy Smi exclaimed deeply"If someone ever decides to make a documentary on Addictions I would nominate your name".Well, YES I had no shame in passing her the crooked smile of mine and YES I don't mind admitting the fact that i have addiction problem.

Rewinding back once again to a familiar room,guess its my dining hall and in one corner can you see the frock wearing gal,holding her most precious possession, her little steel tumbler waiting for her dad to pour the sweet tasting brown liquid which she calls "CHA".....How long can you resist something that runs in your family, where every occasions is blessed by CHA be it summer or winter, morning or dead noon...it runs through every single soul and me not wanting to be an exception took in the reins and decided to prove my family's name.

Back in college,it was a necessity to keep my ever drooping eyes open and my ever blocking ears alert and the only stimulant that worked for me was "TEA".Soon it became a routine and I became the single most revenue generating customer for the coffee corner chechi....My morning in college started with a cup of hot tea,its way too much according to Smi considering the fact that I already had my two cups from home named fondly as Wake up tea and breakfast tea.Morning tea was followed by the short break tea and then after lunch tea followed by end of the college tea followed by evening tea at home and conversation tea with my dad.This adds to a total 7-8 cups a day,this heavy tea drinking habit of mine soon got my body addicted to the brown liquid and skipping one shot resulted in headache,blood shot eyes and what else.Unyielding to the repeated cold looks from Smi I continued my habit until I bid adieu to the coffee corner in college once and for all.

After a month of sitting at home ,doing nothing other than sipping my favorite tea and slugging on ma favorite couch my parents packed my bags and sent me to the torture hell:AMRITA UNIVERSITY.Landing up in Amrita was the next best thing that happened to ma addiction and it was taken to the next level. Armed with a huge cup enough to give 5 people standing in the hostel tea queue a complex I was readying maself for the next battle.My daily dose of tea rose from 7-8 cups to staggering 11-12 in matter of months.Thanks to the huge work load ,projects and assignments I was forced to feed maself large quantities of TEA to stay awake all night.

One fine day when Chechi pointed to my EX-jasmine like tooth and complained on how stained it has become, it took me by surprise.Out on parole I consulted my dentist only to be warned of further recursions like(permanent damage to ma enamel) if I continued to stay heavy drinker.Unpacking my bags, I saw a big packet of complan with a small note by ma mom:QUIT TEA,START HEALTHY HABITS!!not an easy choice as I understood in the days to come.Accustomed to the heavy dose of tea my body couldn't even dare to compare taste of complan with kick of tea.As I force fed maself complan ma body's apparent discomfort was evident...frequent splitting headaches, lack of concentrations and finally after 3 months I was about to win the war over ma addiction and that's when WIPRO offer came ma way.

One can associate any software professional to either TEA/COFFEE or some other bad habits like "ELANEER"(pun intended).For caffeine is known to be a great stress buster evident from the fact that most companies have atleast two coffee vending machine in every floor.Huge rush deprives us of tea mugs in peak hours of 10am-11am and 4pm-5pm. Everyone and anyone can be seen in the common floors right from the managers having an intelligent conversation to freshers sharing the day's gossip sipping hot cup of TEA/COFFEE.The intake has certainly reduced owing to the poor quality of tea available and yeah there is no fun in having instant tea, a byproduct of tea bags and colour changing milk.A detour every night on our way back to hostel takes us to Swadisht Ahar, with no Ahar in mind and the tea wallah calling out to us like pied Piper's tunes we, find our self pay the bill and stand near the counter trying the inhale all the caffeine in the air.As the day comes to an end I tuck into ma bed waiting for the dawn so that i can have another dose of my addiction.Well, a visit to the dentist is in pipeline soon.

If you dream, if you think, if you observe you can't make a change. It takes a deep breath, lots of planning and equal amounts of execution .Well some food for thought and good one...How come i don't have any embarrassing moments just for the sake it ....just to fill up some blank space in the blogger.To what extend can ur patience stretch when someone even after repeated"warnings"commit the same blunder again and again?can such action be forgiven?I did create a hue and cry when the whole blame game rolled out of my span...trying to contain the over spilling of emotions and accusation I realized something"IM A HYPOCRITE" I don't mind blurting this out loud,and this leaves a narrow margin of appreciation for my own act of braveness, the one in which you realize your shortcomings.Well, the act of cowardliness starts from the point where i realize my mistakes and still not move an inch of my stoned will power to rectify my actions :(

Urge to scribble down random letters that only makes sense to me. The matter of heart is becoming complicated day after day .The more i try to be in peace with the turbulent emotions the more i find ma self in conflict .If there were no pressure of added weights or grey hairs i would have gone for a long vacations, a trip to make things work for me. If once i could stand up and say NO.Things upto this point has always followed a path of its own choice, and every time a deviation takes place i just follow the flow.Right now, things are not looking good and seriously i don't know if it has something to do with my unstable decisions.

The glitz and glamor of the IT industry continues....there are still lakhs waiting to be the part of this industry and what is more ironic is feelings of the ones trapped for eternity.Some force themselves to be in peace with their job while some like ME gets frustrated to the core,plucking out every hair, cribbing over dark circles due to prolonged monitor staring.I know people who are 100% dedicated, debugging every piece of code that comes their way and you should see their face when they are pushed into the deadline,they deal with it with a smile and they do manage to plant the same one every time.Really SCARY!!!!Now, Im really bored......

Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.

Why does it have to be the same story again and again.Live with it Opal, which you can't seem to do!You are holding on to your past, refusing to shake it out of your head. May be the course that your life took will lead you to something better .....its not always necessary that if you would have erased the traces of regret you would have been happier.Chances are high that a highly dissatisfied person may show his true colors even while have achieved everything he/she wants to in life.

Regret is never long lasting, if something better comes along it gets wiped off from your memory for ever.So, give it some time to heal may be when you wake up tomorrow your regret is long gone for good.

This post is an attempt to clarify and erase off the clog that has invaded my thought cells for the past few days.

Time has proved my theory wrong yet again. I'm stuck in a whirlpool of emotions that i can't seem to keep under control.It irks me to see people wash away their responsibilities and act as if they still are the "MOST HAPPENING" person around.How do you inspire your peers?

1.Monetary rewards:A sure shot way to make sure everyone work."PAISA JAB BOLTHA HAI THO NIYATHE BATHALTHI HAI".But, at some point of time you loose your fizz and go back to the delusional state where money holds no prominence.

2.Inspire and be inspired: Who makes a good leader?.I believe one who can inspire others throughout his words and actions is a true leader.A good one is hard to come by nowadays.

3.Respect and freedom of THOUGHTS:Rather than forcing your ideas on someone,its always better to nature talent.Always follow"GIVE and TAKE" policy.Respect your colleague's individuality and support them in a crisis situation.

Well, how about pasting this post on ma work board so that people who make a casual stroll to ma cabin can read and in turn note down some points.May be, they can even start implementing the same in their lives,If that's the case then working in this ODC will be so much fun.

Im falling short of words

Iv been rewinding my thoughts for the past few days and picking up from millions of thoughts is this specific one that was put out to a public forum: .One sees, interacts with thousands every day and what's that separates a single face from the rest?.If you are in the look out for that special one in your life, what's that attracts you to a single person?.Why not x+1 or x-1?. Most people I believe chooses their partners based on an invisible match list.Everyone one of us has a match list with ratings from 0-10.This theory of mine applies to only certain section of people,specifically to people who take time to fall in love. Imagine person Y interacting with person X,person Y has this imaginary checklist which has all the pre requisites written.As day progresses, as interaction becomes more he either ticks or crosses each of this pre requisites.As the list variables comes to an end he is sure whether to go to the next level or drop X from his to be possible list .
Then comes stage 2, a more gruesome pick and throw affair.Person Y will show interest towards person X only if their ideologies nearly/perfectly match or if they clash.When i say clash i do not imply the clash as in milk and curd but certainly the ideologies of Y should be able to subside ideologies of X in a long run.If either of the extremes are met then stage two is cleared.

The questions that I originally raised remains un answered?"HOW SHOULD BE YOUR PERFECT PARTNER?".For starters lets take my example, for me my perfect partner should be mirror image of myself, someone to whom i don't have to give explanations about ma rapid mood swings.Someone who leaves me to sort ma problem maself and someone who is there by my side when i need.In short a perfect mind reader.Ma perfect partner should be one who can converse with me on common topic of interests.And as luck would have it none of these criterias of mine are met.

Having survived brutal attacks of the Cochin mosquitoes, Bangalore bed bugs are least of ma problems right now.I kind of rub them off as a hostel phenomenon and its the first time I'm face to face with a non-flying-blood loving-night creature.High squeaks of ma room mates is like a proximity sensor letting me know of existence of the bug colony either in her bed or mine .I don't think bed bugs are ugly, they are seemingly innocent creatures.You assume they are harmless,until one of them get squished under your legs.Suddenly you eyes get locked on the pool of blood,loss of Milli-Liters of blood, your precious blood ....that's when you start hating them.

Google is one person we all turn to when we are stuck with problems.Your one silly doubt may trigger lakhs of un-related hits and you are left with sorting it out for yourself.Even Mr.Google was unable to provide us with an alternate way to kill Bed Bugs other than the usual "let sun shine" mantra. It so happens that Sun shines in Bangalore whenever we are busy in our own busy lives and when we are all set for "MISSION KILL BED BUGS" Sun hides between heavily set clouds..DARPOKH KAHI KE!!!.We have tried and failed almost every available pesticide in the market well, trust us when we say"NOTHING WORKS!".The fumes can only make your life miserable.I still find these tiny black creatures amusing.Moving from one bed to other, giving us our daily good night kiss, red rash marks-an everlasting love ki nishani......well, if you have any suggestions beyond the scope of Mr.Google please do let me know.

Missing my home badly, status messages of those posted in Cochin pierces right through ma heart.And yeah i need someone to talk to all night,someone like ma mom.The whole day fights with ma bro.Morning alarm courtesy Dad...The hot warm food,regular fight over the repeated menu.Late morning sleep, hour long bath.A quick walk with ma dog.These are the things i miss at home, in a smaller scope.I'm still stuck in the memories of yesterdays and i can't seem to complain.

Definition of success varies from person to person .For some its the money that matters, for some its the job and status and for the minority its the satisfaction in life.On the wrong track as usual i would embrace the first two any day.....Well, is it my peanut sized brain that screams out ignorance?.Life is sort of like wine so is money, as the time progresses the face value increases.I doesn't really matters to me if u say the term"FUTURE " for all i care about is the "PRESENT".People with grey hair line always makes it a point to put across words of wisdom that i hardly heed to.


If its about making tough choices in life, you are with the wrong person buddy.I'm illusioned by the very word "TOUGH".Leaving life in a bubble has its own side effects you see.The friend that keeps company during the mumbling is YOU....your prayers counts,every word uttered is comfort word,every path chosen is the RIGHT one.Iv tried and failed miserably to bring life to a dried flower.HOPES are what keeps us afloat.Hoping for the best,OPAL signs off.

There were moments that keeps me reminding of my past. These moments can be times when I'm tuned to a particular song or realizing the fact that I'm speaking exact same sentence in an almost ditto situation .Déjà-Vu ?Well, most of the times these past moments are sweet, mixed with a slight pinch of sorrow .Daughtry was a part of ma life since Amrita days. Playing those songs aloud, complaining of missing home after his song HOME has stopped playing, anxiously waiting for the song to play in ma random play list and today as I plugged in my mobile head set into ma ears while concentrating on ma work, a familiar tone startled me .For a moment I was back at Coimbatore , in ma old room c-215 with ma friends, watching late night movies or munching high carbs on the day before exams, commenting on good looking girls, sharing the days gossip, sitting in the canteen having chaat ,pretending to be sitting in the back bench catching a quick nap, trying to figure out how a tool works, making a big fool out of oneself for the review .Life was growing in a sheltered pot...watered, manured ,pruned at proper intervals, right now I feel like been out among the wild blooms, proving Darwins theory of evolution. As, a student all of us shared an easy flowing life, with occasional tensed moments the night before exams .Now, every day is a struggle, pressure of failure, dealing with high expectations .Things were same 1 year before too, only thing that different was "I was never really bothered" .Multiple times, I flunked for exams BIG time but ,there was always a hope of “NEXT”. In corporate world it’s not the same story, there is no tomorrow for life is filled with deadlines .If life was all about dreams one year before, now it’s all about action. Writing this post makes me feel all grown up, my shoulders heavy with responsibilities.

Pack your bags, forget your secretary, jump on the colourful lorry…….visit old fort, climb the steepest mountain, cherish local flavours, learn new languages, get wet, dirty your shoes, plunge into a river, brave the storm. LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!!Times when I think, I should have been someone else, may be a bird, soaring through the high skies. When everything else down below is just a tiny spot .To forget and get lost.Or may be as innocent as a child, sleeping peacefully at night devoid of the stress lines on forehead.Laugh out loud.............

Its completely unethical to speak about my professional life so, out goes my Monday-Friday life which in no way is gonna be of much interest to anyone.Even to imagine me sitting in one cubicle,typing away seems damper.So, that leaves us with two days:Saturday and Sunday.What exactly happens on these much awaited weekends?It may be much more of a damper than the weekday routine.Eating-sleeping-movies ,there goes the routine. Out of the blue shopping adds joy to ma life and strain to ma purse strings. What else can one do in Bangalore?there is no places to visit except for malls malls and more malls.See this is exactly the reason why most of the major brands have showroom here.When people don't have any other place to visit obviously they will start going to malls and spend their hard earned cash.Height of consumerism .Sadly, Im also a part of the rush.With nothing much to do what else can one expect.

Proposals, disposals, marriages, engagements, vacations, deadlines, cash rich,broke..... life comes to a full circle in a month. Its not computers and documents, but people who add spice to our lives.

Finance and managing of finance is an art,an art that's elusive at the moment.When desires overtakes monetary power one tend to blame situations.Situations turn backs at you and give that annoying smirk"YOU SHOULD HAVE PLANNED YOUR RESOURCES PROPERLY, NOW NO POINT IN BLAMING ME".Now whom to blame?RESOURCES or DESIRES?.Both the daemons are intertwined one leading to other,feeding each other taking control over weak human mind and in the end turns up against each other.That's when the conflict begins .....internal and external crushing your inner strength to move on.

Sometimes, i feel that DESIRES can be easily crushed with will power, but they leave a lingering presence, that keeps popping up at every instant.Some people say that COMPARISON is the best companion of DESIRE, once you want to be like someone....you tend to give into your DESIRES but, i beg to differ its not the influence that induces the transient stage of materialism but, its self induced.Its almost similar to the pain you experience while falling down a slide even after being warned about that u will end up experiencing the pain. Some say that the pain is sweet but in the long run when RESOURCES fails to catch up with DESIRES the pain is gonna hurt real bad.

Iv always dreamt to a corporate financial consultant ....something, that i left mid way but, even today when someone asks me "What i want to be in life?"( I'm too old for that question anyway) i react with same innocence, repeating the said dream like a taught parrot.Someone who refuses to buy in this whole THAMASHA is ma dad.He chirps in"SOMEONE WHO CANNOT MANAGE HER OWN RESOURCES, WILL ANY COMPANY DARE TO GIVE THEIR ASSETS IN HER HAND?".Certainly a point to ponder, something that will keep me preoccupied this weekend.

Things are in for a toss,the one that tricks you into believing that you still can stand on a toe but, the reality is that you are falling, from an unrecoverable fall, the one which topples you from the top.
When you complain to someone what do you expect?.Unlike most ordinary people,i don't look out for a solution from person X,Y Z no matter however they are close to me all that i care for is a pair of ears and a brain that doesn't wander into wild wild west during the conversation.You may wonder if you can force someone to listen to your blabbering why can't you just have some patience to listen to theirs too?.The answer is: Once you present your point to someone they may tend to believe that your side of the story is the 1st edition.You may be the author of your own story, weaving webs of sympathy but, deep inside there may be a high probability that your story is as fake as the snow men.What the listener gives you is a verdict that suits your ears, one which has no honesty embedded.Why bother to take an one-sided solution.Take your own time, figure out a solution for yourself and if you are one of those pathetic ones who cannot have a straight life without 10,000 opinions then take you time to pour out your woes to someone who is involved on both side of the bridge.One who knows the real story may be able to guide you in the right direction.

Rather than counting the sympathies count real honest opinions.

Some people eat ,sleep and drink their dreams while some loose track en route.Isn't your dream a part of you until you realise it? or is it a momentary infatuation?.Dreams that fade away into the background,eroding in the test of time, those are never dreams.They are illusions,ones that appears in your dreams and leave no trace in the warmth of early morning sun. As Dr.Abdul Kalam rightly said dreams are not the ones you see in your sleep but, the ones that not allows you to sleep.

Mtech was never ma dream, but i was sucked into the tornado of so called flow of life and there i was, struggling, huffing, puffing and throwing tantrums.In a month of so reality sinked in and i had no other way other than to accept that i was actually there, in midst of book yielding, less speaking intelligent breeds of engineers.Once , i understood that there was no way out i slowly but reluctantly agreed to be a part of it. It was never an easy feeling to sit amidst heavy books for hours together, or keeping one's eyes open continuously for an hour but, i did everything in ma power everything you could possibly imagine to survive .Right from munching on high carb sugar diet just to stay awake at 3 in the morning to hiding ma precious notes. I was inheriting someone else's dreams. At a point of time i made ma mom's dream part of mine and decided to give it the best shot.You can call me successful if you feel a CGPA of 7.8 is a thumps up.

I fail to understand the other side of the rule, If X was your dream and if its so close to you how can you just give up.Wasn't it the only thing you ever wanted in your life? if that's so why cant you put in a 110%.Sometimes what we call as our dream may not be the right dream for us, one may stumble, take a few leap, get bruised but, that's it?You just give up?You sit there on the battle ground with you hands up in the air and say "THAT'S IT".You call that a FAILED ATTEMPT?I call it COWARDLINESS.

If you shout it out to the world that X is your dream, people around you will expect you to be an expert in your dream.Can't blame the people for thinking so.For a commoner ,dreams are the ones we are good at not something that you wanna try out if you can fit in or not. When you fail people see this as a lack of interest and then those dreams degrade to the status of "EX-DREAMS".

Here is another scenario, you have a dream and you are in the path of realising your dream, one day you wake up and find a new dream holding its place against the old one.What then? you just let the old dream die?or will you just let you first dream take a higher priority now this ,i will leave it upon individual decision. What you want most in life, only you know so ,prioritise based on the execution time and necessity.

The above case doesn't take into account the fact that, you have a variable dream, one that goes tree hopping every night.

"LIVE YOUR DREAM, NOT LET THE DREAM LEAVE YOU"

Time to put ma writing genes to some good use.There are multiple things that i woke up with,laced with descriptive view and as i sit here, typing away half baked ideas i wonder....what exactly is what i wanted to write about?.Life? well, NO people learn through their experiences and there is no way a 23 year old can impart worldly wisdom.

Strange as it may seem, the first time i met Anu,i blurted out"You remind me of ma old friend Anju".How can be two people be so similar,they have no connection whatsoever but, both of them are mirror images of each other.If its just appearance,you can rub it off as coincidence but,alas NO!!!!they talk the same ,smile the same,even have same fashion sensibility.Sometimes, during nights when i had nothing to ponder about, i would just lie on ma bed thinking if both of them were twin sisters separated at birth.At Amrita,Anu's face always reminded me of the fun nights i had with Anju an exception to the usual norm of forgetting a face was at large for, Anu never allowed me to forget Anju.

Today as i stood saving ,ma self from the rain ambush, i heard a familiar sweet voice,pulling me back to the memory lanes ....Anu my heart pounded but, how?As i turned It was Anju,smiling the same bright smile which used to be pasted on Anu's lips.Anju informed me that presently she was working in TCS.With old -buddies-meet-after-long-time talk we got into the same bus.I took ma phone out to check out something,WHAT!!!!!It was Anu's call.Miss. Anu is on a scholarship to Finland.Coincidence? If its, then that's a strange coincidence.

Now for some professional update,I'm waiting for ma posting location.With all prayers in ma heart i sincerely wish Its Cochin.Having nudged the guys from Pune,to force love Cochin, I wonder why the sudden hypocrite move by me!!!!.I love living life in a bubble.I'm a lover of culture,food and people and by thumb rule, it means i would have no problem in adjusting even if put into the remotest land in India.But,well just as the thumb rule criteria is not satisfied in all the cases,so is ma fluctuating attitude.Though i love to explore,learn and live the metro life the highly expensive tag is a big put off.Cochin is the best place to live in if you have to save some moolahs.So, Mom and Dad please stop praying that i vanish off from your life to somewhere distant.

Things have changed out here.Gotta agree that money is addictive,i have been living my dreams,walking through them touching,smelling, feeling ,laughing out.There is a mammothic change in ma life style in terms of productive spending per good.The restlessness that i tend to show over a weekend caged inside the house is far from startling.By the end of year im hopping for a complete reversal of my life.The whole statements ahead shouldn't give anyone of you the idea that am a irresponsible shopper.I know my budgets, at times i may overspend but, with a string tightly put around ma own neck i know where to stop ma hands to be liberal. Shopping for ma brother was never so much fun.Telling dad that i will pay for the hotel food was never so heartly fulfilling.Im living ma life, don't ask for ma bank statement for, every penny has been invested in long term happiness.




Walking a little far from ma happiness,lets step into the lives of people around. Marriage is never about two people but, all about two families. There is always 100% risk involved,compatibility issues,conflicts.When two individuals take decision to spend rest of their lives together,it goes through process of approvals,nods,disagreements.Right now WE are going through such a phase.Families are getting to know each other.Years ahead it may be a different story but as of now,everything seems to me as smooth sailing.

Life is swish swashed, messy,unromantic and monotonous. What if you believe that your brain is a thriving ground for new ideas but, have never got a platform to express?. Feeling like if you were born as Miss.X , you would have lived the life you wanted?.Do you wake up and see things in black and white?.Don't worry, you are just one among the 99% of the people who thinks the same.