MIrroR

From Drafts: Clarification post

2012-02-10T15:53:00.000+05:30

Ijust can't fancy the idea of my blog being bare for a month: This postis from draft and found its way into open forum....all thanks to mylove for this blog of mine. I am still in my No- writing mode and wouldpublish some random stuffs from almost full drafts once every monthjust to keep the spirit alive....

Remember my 30 things to do before I turn 30 post from here?. Well, I am forced to clarify few points regarding the same. With 2011 ending on a high note, I like most others have decided to pen down some resolution point for the coming year 2012. So, iv pen and paper in my hand and what do I do, scramble through my deepest desires and promise myself that I am gonna make all of em come true the coming year?. For me it's not always about taming the impossible it's the little things that matter, its the reason behind each resolution what matters. For people who read my list and told me that the list is too plain jane or boring or easily achievable, this is what my explanation is: For you it might be simple even achievable target in a year but for me, iv given in lot of thought on who I am and from that perspective I have to be a fighter, uninhibited to achieve these targets.

1. Prepare a sumptuous Kerala veg meal inclusive of 2 typesof payasam(Kheer) :I am not good @ cooking , atleast not half as good as mom. The thing with mallu food is that its full of Do's and Dont's, procedures, measurement and I am no wizard when it comes to ordered cooking. I tend to loose track of what's added and when. It would be a big challenge for me to master the art of cooking 12 curries and 2 kheers without anyone's help. And with me stepping into new my new life, culinary skill set is an absolute must.

2. Get my license both, 2 and 4 wheeler : For my brother, this one was absolute no brainer. For someone who managed to grab his license the very next day he turned 18 it would be a silly joke. But, for me riding a car can give major heart ache. I am not good with approximating distances and I have always wondered sitting inside a KSRTC bus admiring the skill of these drivers who manage to keep the huge vehicle under control. To drive with absolute concentration all the while ensuring you don't hit any pedestrians or fellow drivers is a major challenge for me. A challenge by itself and for that I have to overcome my own fears first.

3. Take my parents to an international holiday :Seems like an impossible task for now as I have to wait until 30 to get my dad to be free( He will retire only then). Having a super busy dad, overly dedicated to the welfare of India economy can be quite be a bummer. When we were kids, we would stand near the window grill watching the neighbours pack their bag to tourist places. We would pester and as a last resort even threaten our dad to take us somewhere atleast ANYwhere but, superdad always makes up 100's of official excuses.

4. Beat a guy in computer games :When I wrote this , I was meaning someone as pro as my bro to beat. The bar is way higher than you think. He calls himself invincible in computer games, mastering the art of shooting and kicking for hours together and this is one thing he holds close to male pride. I just want to let the guys out there know that anything, I mean anything is achievable and Iv warned my bro well in advance that I may go down but I will give him a fight that he will remember throughout his gaming life.

5. Travel to 4 corners of India (Goa, Arunachal Pradesh,Kashmir and Andamans) :I have not traveled much and I intend to change that record after marriage. I am fascinated by people, culture and food. This would give me a perfect excuse to savour all the three.

6. Learn Salsa or any latina dance : This is for US, a time we can call OURS. I believe as couples the two of us should be able to spend some time alone not only will it bring each other together but, also instill lot of wow moments.

7. Turn vegetarian for a year: Kuttan was veg until the last year and now he is a total carnivore. In random conversations, people kind of shift the blame of kuttan turning non -veg on me and I totally hate it!!. This point is to instill some good eating habits in US. After all, turning vegan is in vogue now :P. Besides, to achieve point 9 this point is quite essential.

8. Try at least one adventure sport : I love the thrill, the adrenaline rush, the fear of unknown and I would love to do something totally whacky for pure FUN.

9. Go down from size -- to size 26 :Now this would need a lot of will power. I am a lazy bum, with my favorite activity being sleeping and hogging anything remotely sweet.

10. Buy a branded bag (A ZARA /MANGO/ALDO will do) : I already own a ZARA bag but, that's gifted. I have this thing for bags and bags, specifically branded bags takes my breath away. My parents would label buying a bag worth 2k as scandalous. Owning em was always part of my big Indian dream and I will keep it alive. It's always wise on the pockets to pick something up during sales and now that these high end stores have their own exclusive stores in Bangalore things would be easier than I though.

11. Walk on a 4 inch platform heels without falling : Heels do make me feel good, induce self confidence and makes me feel strong from inside, but balancing on a heel is such a pain. Again it's a challenge of sorts to tame the unthinkable and another reason to buy more stilettos.:P

12. Get my EX-MBA and move up to the post of Analyst before point 20 :This WAS my dream and this point made into the list cause I didn't want to let go of my past. This is something that I would want to remind myself everyday. Dreams are important after all.

13. Attend my brother's post graduate ceremony if he intendsto postgraduate:This guy has a special place in my heart. I know he is super talented and I wanna be part of his BIG moments. This is to ensure he doesn't forgo his dreams like I did.

14. Buy myself a diamond stud : I suck at saving cash, month beginning I am on a financial high and spurge, only to look at my statement in month mid and weep. I have to try and change that. Buying a diamond stud is a perfect motivator and diamonds are good investments too.

15. Stay away from technology for 1 month ie, mobiles/ netetc : I am always connected to the virtual world with not even a 6 minutes of separation acceptable. I have to change that, go out and meet REAL people.This point is to build in some self control.

16. Hug a dog :I own a cute adorable dog, who absolutely hates hugging and I have this strange fear for dogs (other than mine) which was rooted into my brain by an old ad which showed a girl bitten by a rabid dog dying a pitiful death. From that day on I am scared by the sight of any dog and the ad went on to hunt my dreams for the longest of time. Now that I do own a dog, playing and cuddling with her is not much of a problem but, hugging sure is. Again, I have to shed lot of fears to do this one.

17. Have authentic Chinese food : By that I mean"AUTHENTIC" not your local Chinese wala food. Chinese would definitely not suit my taste buds as I am a flavor person and according to reliable sources Chinese food is quite bland. Would like to experience the real Chinese food, for that I need to find a place that serves the same:Any suggestions?

18. Pray every day, and make it a habit :If there is one thing I lack, that would be belief in GOD. Both of my parents are extremely religious and even visit temple everyday unlike lazy bum like me who refuse to get out of the bed before 8 on weekends. Daily prayers I hope would bring in more order and calmness in my life.

19. Visit my school with my buddies and spend a whole day in12 A :Best time of my life, just want to relive my past. School has given me lot of fond memories and friends whom I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. Being with em in that classroom would help me to come in terms with the fact that my innocence is not lost, alteast not some of it.

20. Change company :Pay package will speak for itself.

21. Go clubbing :Infatuated by the tabloids, I wish to experience clubbing and really understand what the hullaboo is all about. Being from a conservative background I didn't wanted to stray from my comfort zone though opportunities were many in Bangalore. Kuttan loves clubbing and I plan to visit a club soon after marriage.

22. Buy "our own" house : Financial constrains are many, we both are starting afresh and hopefully by 30 we both are self sufficient to spurge a major chunk of our income into our dream house.

23. Not to fight with anyone for 3 months, not even an angrythought :I am a hyper active person, atleast for people close to me. I will drain your energy and time and in a relationship I can be a big pain. Most of my fights are of the usual"YOU-DON'T-GIVE-ME-ENOUGH-ATTENTION" routine. I would like to act more matured and hence, this point.

24. Walk on a beach @ 12.night, barefooted : May happen after marriage. It's more of a romantic dream, the idea of sun, sand and barefootness that forced me to include the said point into the list.

25. Streak my hair purple : Challenge there again... I am always stuck down by what people think. I was brought up that way, I am conditioned to think in the perspective of a 3rd person. My mom believed this would stop me from making wrong choices. She was right :we tend to keep a lid to our dark side cause we live in a society fed with fear and the baggage that came along was the constant need of reassurance that I don't stand out from the crowd. For me streaking hair in purple is sort of self liberalization move, one that would mark my growth as an individual wary of adult approval. To hell with people... I know I would have to face lots of stares but then I am all set for it.

26. Say sorry to SOMEONE I have hurt: I have a specific SOMEONE in my mind. I can't forgive myself for doing that to HIM. We have really weird conversations but, I have to clear the air and talk about the past and close that chapter for ever. This is one moment in my past that I wish I could go back and rectify.

27. Punch someone/anyone(After my 3 months of being a goodgirl): Just the bully in me speaking for herself. She is such a mean kid and I love her for that.

28. Spend one day, every year in an orphanage : Just like that....I know I will be rewarded in heaven.

29. Write dairy every day : I used to until, I shifted to blogging. Blogging is an open platform and most of the time I have to restrict myself from blurting out the truth. Iv to kick start my old habit to ensure I have sound mind all throughout my life.

30. Say a joke, to which everyone will laugh to :Now that is the toughest of the lot. I am known for my dry sense of humor or no sense at all.There were instances were I would burp out a supposedly joke at the weirdest of time.

See, this 30 things to do before I turn 30 is not easy as you thought it would be atleast for me.

All good things must come to an end:Last post

2012-01-29T13:17:00.000+05:30

NEWS: What started off as a day to day event recollectionslowly paved way to much bigger things. I am no wizard with words yet this blogholds a special place in my heart. Six years that's the time for which I blogged....prettylong no? especially for someone who has short attention span. I managed to holdon to words and phrases and sentences for 6 long years. Today, as I recoil backto my little world, I find one element missing, my IMAGE. Mirror was alwayspart of my life, more like a reflection, more like an alter ego....someone whois just like me, but not ME. Over the years Mirror grew with me....fromwatching over a rebellious teenager, to complicated human being, tolovestruck20 something falling in love, mirror was successful in capturing myemotions and turmoil. Always I have had my guardian angel looking on to meduring my toughest times, things that were unspeakable were spoken off, mypoint was made clear, guilt was erased off and drama was captured. Mirror hasgiven me 6 years of memory to cherish, something I wouldn't want to erase. Iwill keep the blog intact but just that you wouldn't be seeing my reflection inthe mirror. Looking back the blog has given me lot of memories to laugh aboutto cry on and I wouldn't wanna change a single thing.

WHY: Words have abandoned me, and so have the skill sets.They are no longer my companions but we share more of a forced relationship. Inever faced this kind of emotional turmoil in my life, I never had to fight tolet my voice heard I was always guarded by my angel, and words it camenaturally to me. That's it the final straw, one word and that's it.....AND YOUKNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!

FUTURE: It feels like killing my own kid, eating up the darkness,and I am not sure the direction I would wander too without a holding hand. Ineed to write, pour out my angst and keep myself from falling apart and I knowonly words can give me that kind of solace. I will try keeping up with thetechnology, putting up my dairy in e format but for now smell of paper backwould do. Going back to my root where words flow like an untamed river, gushingin all its might, a place where there are no forced love affairs, a place wherepeople would understand why I am in love with free flowing words, a place wheremy feelings would be honored. It would definitely be a long absence. Thank youfor patiently hearing me out, for holding my hand, for reassuring me, forpointing out my mistakes, teaching me a thing or two. Thank you for everything.

24 Random things

2012-01-26T08:42:00.002+05:30

It's a lil late to do this post but, hey atleast I have managed to post this in the month of Jan which by the way is a BIG deal. I recently celebrated my 24th birthday and here are 24 random things you probably wouldn't know about me...

I am a pure blood Aquarian, and that means I think a lil hatke (Different) from others.
My favorite color in the spectrum is YELLOW. I have at least one item in my wardrobe in color yellow: Shoes, earrings, dresses. Even my bedroom wall is painted YELLOW.
Before my present role, I was a web page designer. Yes!!!I am very lazy to do a makeover for my own blog.
I am a M.tech dropout. I just couldn't bear the pressure of technical studies even after being an 8 pointer for the whole of 1 year of the course. I quit after 1st year much to the dismay of my parents.
I have problem estimating distance between two objects. Either I evaluate it as too near or too far and this may be the reason why my dad doesn't trust my words during driving.
I was selected to Indian school of planning and architecture, Delhi in the year of 2005 but, my parents refused to let me pursue architecture cause the school had mixed hostel system during that time.
I love politics and any discussions on the same. I keep myself updated about any latest happenings in world politics.
I was known for my high decibel voice back in school and college. I can grab the attention of a class of 60 with my voice.
I am very organized person. Mind you the term should not be misinterpreted... it is organized. I keep all my things in its designated place.
My favorite ice cream is Baskin Robin strawberry and banana. I can N number of cups.
I am more of my younger brother's lil girl than dad's or mom's.
I used to learn violin back during school days.
I have the same dreams played in a loop every single week. Even the trivial things doesn't change not even the position of those things.
I hate cricket and football. Tennis is more bearable format of sports.
I have only very few friends and there is no permanent list. Changes in every 2-3 years.
I have constant neck problems and cause of that I love sleeping on cold floor :P.
I have an enviable collection of earrings.
I love movies. Any crappy movie will do...
I used to have BIG crush on Mark of Westlife, Anderson of English cricket team and Ayushmaan of MTV.
I have streaked hair which once I had vowed never to color but I did...
I can be in my own world for hours, without any company and my mom calls it creepy.
I love hoarding fashion mags.
I am not scared of insects or lizards or cockroaches or millipede. I find it funny when girls cry like babies and jump on the bed when they see any crawling thingies.
I love my school life more than college life.

The feeling

2012-01-19T14:50:00.001+05:30

Image:Google

Can't even type without sounding ridiculously childish. Reminiscing those Mtech days when Analog and mixed signals paper would give me sleepless nights. The day before when none of the images would make sense all thanks to the unreadable scripts (sleep). Running around the varendhah knocking on every door, begging for the notes for a quick glance which extends to 1-2 hours depending on the angry calls by friends. The feeling, sitting inside the hall, waiting for the que paper wishing for atleast 7 outof syllabus questions and the pain when you see your prayers are not answered. The high stress applied on the brain cells to make them remember at least a bit of what was mugged day before but, to no avail. Filling the sheet with absolutely no sensible images that would put even a 1st year Btech student to shame. The deep thinking mode, and the near to blank answer sheet that I carefully tie, while watching my mates fight for the last supplementary sheet during the last 5 minz. I remember the feeling right after the sub midterms, when I know that none of the questions that I have attempted is no where close to the right answers. The cold stares tintu mon (My prof) used to give me while handing the paper and announcing my single digit marks to the whole class.The impromptu trip to the staff room to explain how and why I fail in the same sub every single time in spite of scoring near to perfect marks in all others. The long distance warm calls, when my parents would assure me that things will go ok the next time around even when I knew next time around was not going to happen. This is the exact same feeling that I am going through....

Facebook Etiquette

2012-01-05T21:55:00.000+05:30

Image:Google

We have all had our lessons on Email etiquette, office etiquette, table etiquette, blogging etiquette, and the multi million etiquette we were taught that we hardly (In my case follow) bother about. Now it's time for Facebook etiquette....before I begin with my lecture series let me remind you all that these are not intended to hurt the feelings of anyone especially not of my 1090 facebook friends.

Friend Requests

Why on earth would I want to add someone who judge me by my profile pic?. I usually filter my friend requests by number of common friends and by dropping by their profile to ensure I am not being friends with a psychopath or a murderer for that matter. This filter has its own flaws as I recently found out cause, I only know half of the people in my friend list personally. Sometimes I am so put off by the profiles of some of my said school juniors that I refuse, or even simply delete them off my list. Then there are guys who don't give up and even resort to threaten mode via messages. So, people please add me only and only if you know me personally.

Group invitation

There is no invitation, you have just random guys in my friend list always adding me to random groups. Cool Guys group???Dude I am neither a Guy nor am I cool so stop bothering me by adding me to random groups just for increasing the head count of members. I always end up receiving texts at wrong time (Read meetings) informing me that so and so has posted some crappy stuff in Generation X group. I have to go all the way to the group site and click leave from group to stop receiving updates. Iv tried every button in the privacy tab so that I can control which group am added to but, nothing seems to work. If anyone of you actually know something regarding this please do let me know. I wouldn't have any problem in case my REAL friend add me into the alumni circle without my approval. Totally understandable.

Tagging

I know you would want to showcase your talent in front of the whole facebook community but tagging all your friend in your friend list is not the right thing to do. Tag only if absolute necessary or if you would want to refresh some old memories(School pics). I would never prefer tagging without prior permission.

Inboxing

I used to frequent some blogshops and after weeks I found my FB inbox bombarded with texts from unknown people asking me to check their blogshops. If I am interested I will for sure purchase from your shop, the reason why I am not placing any orders itself shows my lack of interests or my financial situation or even your own bad repute. So, please stop sending texts or filling my inbox.

Some of my friend would like to add to to the list they say

Promotions

Putting one's blogpost as status is total put off

Lemme clarify: As my own status you, as my friend is given a choice, choice to either click on the status there by getting to know my tastes better or not bothering at all. I am doing no harm to even a single soul. Most bloggers have their own blog pages but being into blogging purely for recording purpose and also due to lack of fan following I don't think I can afford to maintain yet another account with yet another password. So, my friends are always welcome to ignore my statuses and jump into other profiles.

New year, filled with new hopes and for me this is a special year. Will be back with more ramblings.

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-29T18:54:00.000+05:30

2011 is almost over and as I am introspecting over the bygone year I have reached some conclusions. Before I put my another day another reason to ramble theory into action let me highlight the years high's and low's.

HIGH's

Finally decided to rebutt parental pressure and for once decide what I want to do in life.
An awesome birthday and a wedding of a dear friend.
Moving to a different role, and back to my home town after a 1 year stint in Bangalore.
Finally gathered some courage to come out of the shell and be more ME.
Got engaged to this awesome guy, who rock my world.

LOW's

Leaving my independent life back at Bangalore.
Hmmm, can't seem to think of anything right now.

This year turned out to be a hit!!!. Hope 2012 would be as good as 2011.

Totally random: Xmas effect!!!!

2011-12-23T16:36:00.001+05:30

Image:Google

Wishing all my readers (If ANY!!!) a happy Xmas. Remember my wish list from here?Well, it's coming true and now I have to upgrade the list with a version 2. With xmas this month and my bday coming up next month I hope the list will be a pointer of sorts to people who plan to buy me gift*evil grin*. And please don't try to act all goody two shoes and start a speech on how materialistic I am, everyone is and may be the lights, carols, cake and wine is doing the trick. I am still sitting in the office, typing this last post for the weekend while watching my mates leave one by one with envy. I am waiting for my brother to give me a ride back home so that, I don't have to travel for another 1 hour in public transport to reach home.

On a side note, I feel lost for obvious reasons and obnoxious than before. I have to have to find a cure cause this is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. Did I tell you that I am engaged?No? Ok!!!so I got hitched last Sunday with this guy called kuttan who has been my invisible better half for the past 4 years. Things just got little more visible than before and now he is my declared-to-the-world-to-be-husband. Things have not changed, we still quarrel, we still make up at much faster pace, we still pull each others legs, we still have broken conversations.....the only difference is my frequent high decibel "CHETTA"(typical mallu way of addressing one's husband) calls. People around me are surprised and the first few days I couldn't force myself to utter the word. It was so not me!!! but, I love the way Kuttan smiles when he hears me call him Chetta also, it marks a higher respect for him in my heart. I have until now had atleast 5-10 people asking me to repeat the chetta call, I do and with the shy smile of a newly engaged girl. Okay enough for now, so all you people out there have a merry time with your family and friends and keep the spirit of xmas alive.

Confessions of a shopping sidekick

2011-12-15T11:09:00.001+05:30

I am one of the people who loves shopping, I am infact like rest of the people . The only thin line that separates me from you is: I run berserk like a wild elephant when left alone in a shop. I buy anything and everything that I think will look good on me, will look good on me in my head, and will look good on others. I try to sleep and laze around at the end of month weekends and the reason for which is a no-brainer!!!!. I do have my partners in crime and we hit every other little shop in the alleys of Cochin. My partner, who is a wise shopper, has whole lot of self control than Moi. She holds my hand and pulls it back whenever I pounce excitedly on the stuff on the rack. Now this action, purely out of concern for my dwindling bank account is not a moral booster of sorts, makes me depressed. To touch and feel the fabric and not to own em is a pain of its on. While my partner inhales the smell of the fresh stock she is mentally high and satisfied and ready to hit the next store, aaahhh not me!!!. It happened quite a few times and every time we went shopping together for HER, I ended up buying more stuff than her. While she swing her hands in full might I struggle to balance all my shopping bags. Soon enough, I found a cheat code to my problem....days when I go shopping with her I would mark my victims with the precision of a sharp shooter and next week on similar expedition with my mom, I make em mine. No complains, no frustrating talks and it's a win-win situation for me and my buddy.

Back at Bangalore, me and my set of girls would go mall hopping every fortnight. While I broke my transfer news all the while expecting some thanks giving speech, it was met with cheer and loud applause by some of my friends. For them it was a reason to celebrate, starting mark of earning a respectable saving. They were of the opinion that they were never able to resist the temptation of buying things cause I always told them "THE THING" looked good and that nudged them to buy even if they had no intention of a shopping spree during that very trip. And if you think 8 months after, they have successfully managed to have a huge bank balance you are wrong : ONCE A SHOPAHOLIC ALWAYS A SHOPAHOLIC!!!

In Cochin, there is no brand culture and no one keeps a tab on latest in's and out's, but I still make my shopping expeditions. Last day one of my colleague's commented on how I have brought about a change in every one's bank balance. Sharing my knowledge about things I love cannot be branded as a crime. To choose or not is purely personal decision. The story spread and many female colleagues of mine are seen to spend quite considerable amount of their work time staring at their colorful computer screens. I am deeply wounded by frequent comments on how I have turned good girls into materialistic girls. No one was forcefully converted, no one was threatened to make a choice and people fail to understand.

On being asked why the online site's names have been floated around one of my colleagues replied." I hate socio -economic imbalances. One female having a huge bank balance and the other broke. Now that the sites and online payments are being made at a rate which can put even rupee's value depreciation to shame everyone would eventually have same bank balance and the gap will be non -existent." Until next time, its the shopping sidekick bidding adieu.

Of meetings and creating impressions

2011-12-04T15:20:00.001+05:30

Let's get the facts straight, I am not a morning temple person for that mater I am not even an evening temple person. I can't fathom the thought of waking up in wee hours on Saturdays and Sundays ( The weekends). Weekends for me is to wake up when the sun is over my head, laze around in my pyjamas, sipping hot cuppa of tea. For this reason, I usually don't encourage my parent's frequent nagging of visiting temples on Weekends. Yesterday when I was asked to wake up at 4am... I objected, shed my fake tears and threw my lame excuses but, all of it fell into deaf ears as my parents were quite determined to mould me into ideal daughter -in-law. At 4 Dad was heard shouting, and unwilling I dragged myself out of bed, took a shower and got ready. I usually love dressing up, but the morning chill was getting on to my nerves. I tossed my kajal on my bedspread, dressed up in a simple kurta, put on smallest of earrings and a small bindi. Done!!!I took my bike ride to Willingdon Island when I reached the place at 5, the gates to the temple was closed seems the priest overslept!!! see even the priest loves his weekends. Had to wait good 20 minutes before we could enter the temple and complete the rituals. When my dad suggested that we visit Ernakulam Siva temple I was fuming, I mean common I barely had my 4 hours sleep and dad was asking me to extend temple hoping. I reluctantly agreed after all the last thing on my mind is to displease GODS!!. I went to the Siva temple and then to the Hanuman Kovil.... the moment I stepped in I saw a familiar face, and as an automatic reaction smiled showing my pearl like Colgate teeth. The person right before me need an intro in this blog, it was Kuttan's Grandma( Let's call my fiance Kuttan from now on as 'G' seems to be a tad bit boring) this gorgeous 60 something lady is the head of the house and ruled kuttans heart before I made an entry. There is only one word to describe her: GORGEOUS. She is a big believer of everything divine, spends half of her day in and around temples, treats God's as part of her family and believes in divine interventions. She was surprised and shocked as hell (I could read that from her face) so was I. She never expected me to be there at that time. She took my hand and enquired whether I come there everyday. As much as I want to spit out the truth it's essential that I create a homely image in front of her and like a taught parrot I repeated: Frequently. She was smiling happily that her would be granddaughter in law was a religious little girl.... her smile spread like a infectious sunshine and at that very moment I was wondering how shattered she would be when she learns the absolute truth.What happened next was probably the highlight of the day"X, Y,Z,A,B......W , please come here... let me introduce you to my to be-granddaughter-in -law" Kuttan's ammuma spoke to the unknown!!!. WTH !!!okay okay!!!!Now I was panicking. Somewhere deep down, minutes before I was grinning devilishly to have striked gold by creating a good girl image in front of grandma but now here I was at my worst with not even a kajal trying to make an impression in front of a bunch of 60 something grandma's. Grandma visits temple with her usual entourage, gang of 60 something ladies who find happiness in divine salvation. Now I had a name to save ie, MY good repute.... there I was tired, boring , dressed to please no one. I knew that meeting me in my bare self would spark a gossip conversation and I would be the laughing stock at today's gossip session.... there I was in front of Kuttaan's gorgeous grandma and I felt like my whole world was coming apart. Quite obviously they would expect me too match the standards set by Kuttan's gorgeous ammuma and in front of her I looked drab and outshined.

Kuttan's Ammuma

Sob !!!Sob after all the intro me and dad decided to visit yet another temple this time Poornathreyesha temple...nothing out of the world happened and as I was making a quite exist I saw a familiar face, a face which stood out 8 years back but, now the beauty had diminished. She smiled as she recognised me and we chatted about the present. This girl, was an epitome of REAL beauty back at school and subject of secret affection of all my friends. We were good friends and even she shared few of her deepest secrets with me. Haven't had seen her for quite some time now and seeing her brought back some good memories.

On a completely random note: I have successfully manage to ward of evils of consumerism this month. Had promised myself that I wouldn't shop this month and it's being going good not without some fast reining of heart. December, is a month when I can shop without guilt cause it's my engagement month but, am saving all the arms for the month of Jan: my birthday month+ sales month (:P). It's hard to resist the fruits of online shopping when all one does is sit in front of the computer surfing through the net. Well, guys see you around probably with a better post.

Customer Satisfaction

2011-11-21T10:25:00.001+05:30

I just felt like pouring all my angst into this blog. This is my vain attempt to prove myself right, after failing to do so on a wider platform. As a customer, what do you expect from a service, a site, a shop?. You expect them to outperform your expectations, or being a realistic person you are, you would expect them to fulfill the clauses they have promised. Anything below or down par is not acceptable as there are millions of other options waiting for you out there and why should one stick to this brand/site alone?. My gain will in turn effect the brand's/site's loss and in this era of mass communication a little negative publicity can topple even the biggies.

I am no expert in customer relationship, but as an end user it hurts when my expectations are not met with for instance, last day I rang up Airtel customer care on the hope of finding a solution to the ever frequent call drop at specific time of 1:10 and 2:10. Every time I make an international call to my clients, the call gets dropped at specific time. Every time I have to pacify the clients by explaining that there is an issue with the connection. On those sudden calls to my dad where I have to tell him to pick me up from office, the call gets cut midway. I tried calling 121, 123 to speak to their customer care exec but, without any luck. Finally, my brother did manage to find a way to contact the customer care. First you will have to press 2 so that you can get more info about the GPRS offers. Hallo!! a normal customer would expect the customer care key to be present in the main menu. Why would anyone bother to press GPRS and then again 9 to talk to customer care executive?. My connection was getting dropped even before I could press the lucky number 9, after trying for 8 times I gave up. Dad who himself own a post paid connection with Airtel gave me his phone to dial the customer care. By the time the whole incident happened I was on fire, fuming and the moment the customer care rep(A lady) took the phone, I started spitting venom. She got angry at me and told me that as my connection is prepaid she will have to transfer to some other section. The call was transferred, and a guy took up. This time I explained patiently to the guy about the issue and how much problem it's causing me. He told me there is no issue with my sim and told he will transfer me to some other section. The bloody guy put me on hold for 15 minutes and then the call was cut. I mean WTH!!!, I am recharging every week religiously with my hard earned cash and I have every right to know why my calls are getting cut and that too at exact same intervals. Being Airtel or having a great add doesn't mean you are invincible and no one will raise a finger against your service.

Moving on to another site Bestylish.com. Online shopping is slowly catching up in India and being one not to be left out I joined the bandwagon and ordered something from their site on Nov3rd. After my transaction was complete I expected them to send me a confirmation mail regarding receiving payment. Alas No!!I didn't receive any and the next day I send a mail asking them to confirm the same and that's when I received confirmation. Common, if the site doesn't let me know if they have received the cash how will I ever know?. What if they don't and my hard earned cash disappears into thin air with both agents refusing to accept it's their mistake?. Finally A week passed and I expected my courier to arrive any moment. Alas No!! I again had to ring them up and ask em if they had send me the courier... the guy tells me that my order is cancelled as the item didn't pass quality tests. If so, why bother fooling me and other lakhs of customers by putting up the pic of the good which is defective?. In that scenario, ideally I would have expected the company to replace my order( I would have happily obliged) and send me my good in 3 days may be then I would have been impressed or even it would have been okay if their refund process was completed in 2-3 days. Being the site they are and being taken for granted that they are I didn't expect both the ideal scenarios and Oh boy I was right. And what about my refund?. Weeks passed and I am yet to get one!!. I would never ever shop from their site no matter what lucrative offer they put in. I have reported it their agents and also posted a message on their FB wall. No action has been taken yet. Whenever people ask me about the site, I tell em without even blinking an eyelid NOT TO TRUST EM. I know me not trusting em won't do any damage but still, when it comes to mouth to mouth publicising and mass media publicising, I can cause a small damage and their possible buyers from my circle has eroded and none of my friends may never try this site.

I don't know but some of the best bloggers feel that mushrooming online portals may initially give you a good treatment and as they grow they tend to take their consumers for granted. Because they are a brand , they consider themselves to be above the consumers and this would eventually lead to their own downfall.

Am I being unreasonable here?. Spending big bucks, I expect quality, options and time from the brand I am loyal to. After all money doesn't grow on trees.

I vs ME

2011-11-17T09:50:00.001+05:30

I have nothing worthwhile to write about, something that would inspire the person on the other side. Yesterday during one of our regular chatroom dramas, myself and Tbabu were talking about the inevitable :CHANGE. If I stand in front of the mirror and let Opal from the past have a conversation with this image, she would surely drub the ME as over girlish-self obsessed-diplomatic-aimless human being. I wouldn't be able to recognise ME, and I am everything I never wanted to be 4 years back. Time has this strange way of creating havoc in your life, it tosses you around and teaches you the truth the HARD way. I have changed and that's is something I have to own the responsibility for. I could have resisted the tides and stood up against TIME but, I didn't instead I just let it take me into the No entry zone. So, next time I tell myself "I AM NOT GONNA BE LIKE THAT", I will pause and think for a moment. What if few years down the lane, I become exactly that NOT GONNA BE types?. I am open to changes, I am ready to embrace them and make em a part of my life.

A Short Story

2011-11-10T22:52:00.001+05:30

She felt weightless, as her eyes fixated from white dressclad fairies to the blurred images of people she recognized back from hermemory. She was trying to remember her story. Loud weeps by her mother was notat all helping, she found it annoying. She was losing blood and litres of itand soon she would be joining her nagging grandparents in heaven. She wanted tonarrate her story before her name was permanently erased from this planet.

Born as the eldest daughter of an upper middle class family,she had everything that an average girl could wish, a house, doting parents, abrat brother, shelves filled with medals and trophies that her parents proudlytalked about to their colleagues, a handsome boyfriend whom her parents loved (theyeven were making arrangements for their wedding). Then why did she take such anextreme step? Love failure? NO! ghosts from her past? NO then what?. You mayfind it hard to digest but, she was a victim of depression. She always feltunloved, she always felt lonely, she always felt she was not good enough, shenever had REAL friends. She knew something was wrong with her, she tried totalk with her parents and boyfriend but, both of them rubbished it of as herchanging mood due to fluctuating hormone levels. She fought with ‘him’ overtheir dwindling conversations, he counter attacked saying he was too tired tohear her ramblings. On another day, she complained how lonely she felt evenafter being in a relationship and again he counter attacked her by telling thathe was not a mind reader. She closed her doors shut, wept with her head underthe pillow, smudged the kajal all over her face after all the only things shewanted were: to be reminded everyday that she was loved, she wanted to be heldin his arms and be embraced, she wanted to be woken up by his dreams but, allshe had were nightmares. The more she tried to push away, the more steeper shefell into a world she had not fathomed, she was eclipsed by dark clouds suckingaway her joy. All she wanted was someone, anyone to hear her heart breakingtears, her sound echoed through vacuum and her own echo hit her ears hard. Shefelt this heart piercing call, to hurt , to torture her soul, she could derivehappiness from proving her worthlessness. She tried to distract herself fromthe repeated calls by indulging in shopping. She forgot that material thingscould just provide momentary happiness, she would feel tinge of happiness whenshe touched and felt new things but, soon they would pave way to more guilt andturmoil. She filled in his absence with books and blogs, neither could eitherdo any justice in erasing her pain. Finally, it was time to take a decision...thefaces of all those she loved dearly appeared before her, it was as if watchinga movie, a small biopic played before her....her baby steps, her first day in school, collegeeverything was being played out in random order. As she held the blade closerto her wrists she could imagine the pale faces of her parents, the pain itwould cause them but, she had to get away with the pain which was consuming her.....she was left with no choice. She let the sharp edges of the blade kiss herflesh, she gasped for fresh air ....she saw blood all around.... She was losingblood and litres of it and soon she would be joining her nagging grandparentsin heaven. She wanted to narrate her story before her name is permanentlyerased from this planet.

My Hero

2011-11-08T19:23:00.000+05:30

Biting into my veg burger, my thought process was interruptedby my mom. Sitting opposite to me, munching her fries, she started theconversation

"You should write the blooper your dad did today in theblog (More on that later). People who know my dad from here and here needs nointroduction to the GUY no:1 of my life. But, there is more to this man thanwhat meets the eye.

He may give you that rough and tough attitude....even brushyou in the wrong way, but behind all that ruggedness is a man who knows only tolove unconditionally. As a little girl, like all the girls of my age my dad wasthe first super hero I admired and looked upto. No superman or spiderman could matchthe super powers my dad possessed. He had answers to all my silly questions, hehad the magic wand to make all my problems disappear and more importantly hewas one person with whom I could ramble endlessly.

As years passed, during the growing up stages I got quite attachedto my mom. Though we never get along she could read my mind. I had to share allmy secrets, had to have her with me during my bad days and I couldn't sleepwithout fighting with her. Somewhere along the road, dad was sidelined. For mehe was more of a father figure, unapproachable and I was sure: A GUY CAN'TUNDERSTAND ME!!

Sometimes dad did let me know about his feelings and thepain of missing out on my life was evident from his eyes as he watched me andmy mom talking ear to ear.

Dad's road to success was not smooth. As the 3rdchild (eldest son) of a war veteran and housewife he didn't get his way aroundlike we did. Having to travel 10 kms per day to reach the school or not beingable to afford new school uniform each academic year, he had seen the worst .But,what separated him was his tryst to learn, to grow . I have heard his sistersay that he was extremely talented in languages. After his 10th, when hisfather told him to quit school and join him in farming, my dad was aghast. Hewanted to continue his studies but didn’t have the resources to follow hisheart nor did his father’s small income allow him to dream big. That’s where mydad's sister came into picture, married to an army guy she took him under herwings. A change in scenery ensued from lush green Kerala to land of desserts:Rajasthan, it was a drastic change for this young man.

He made it into Narcotics department all the whilecontinuing his education. After 10 years he moved back to Kerala and toCustoms. He married his superior’s daughter (Mom) and happily lived ever after.

I have never seen my dad upset and angry not even insituation where an ordinary person like you or me would think of giving up. Healways maintains his calm at home (Though in office it's complete differentball game). I respect him for his vast knowledge; he is one of the best inCustoms laws. He is never afraid to speak his mind, even to his seniors. He isthe best shopping buddy as he even nudges me to shop. He has never told meNEVER or NO!!!. The biggest shoker was this incident when I truly realized thedepth of my ignorance. One day while on phone with my fiancé, my dad happenedto hear our conversation. All through the conversation I kept calling name,instead of the customary "CHETTA" my dad came upto me and said "Youare so unromantic". Mine!!! Something that I hadn’t expected. Nowadays Ido make sure that I put forward everything in front of dad first because he ismore open to ideas, more onto my side than the other peoples (My mom on theother hand makes up for it with the sentence "what will peoplethink")

Ok!I could go on and on like this about the virtues my dadpossesses. Enough of praising my dad, what comes to mind is this dialogue by Suriyafrom the film Varanam Ayirram" NEE THAAN ENUUDE HERO DADDY" (YOU AREMY HERO DADDY)

30 things to do before I turn 30

2011-11-03T12:13:00.001+05:30

1. Prepare a sumptuous Kerala veg meal inclusive of 2 typesof payasam(Kheer)

2. Get my licence both, 2 and 4 wheeler.

3. Take my parents to an international holiday.

4. Beat a guy in computer games.

5. Travel to 4 corners of India (Goa, Arunachal Pradesh,Kashmir and Andamans)

6. Learn Salsa or any latina dance.

7. Turn vegetarian for a year.

8. Try at least one adventure sport.

9. Go down from size -- to size 26.

10. Buy a branded bag (A ZARA /MANGO/ALDO will do)

11. Walk on a 4 inch platform heels without falling.
12. Get my EX-MBA and move up to the post of Analyst before point 20.

13. Attend my brother's post graduate ceremony if he intendsto postgraduate .

14. Buy myself a diamond stud.

15. Stay away from technology for 1 month ie, mobiles/ netetc.

16. Hug a dog.

17. Have authentic Chinese food.

18. Pray every day, and make it a habit.

19. Visit my school with my buddies and spend a whole day in12 A.

20. Change company.

21. Go clubbing.

22. Buy "our own" house.

23. Not to fight with anyone for 3 months, not even an angrythought.

24. Walk on a beach @ 12.night, barefooted.

25. Streak my hair purple.

26. Say sorry to SOMEONE I have hurt.

27. Punch someone/anyone.(After my 3 months of being a goodgirl)

28. Spend one day, every year in an orphanage.

29. Write dairy every day.

30. Say a joke, to which everyone will laugh to.

Hoping for the best, lets see how it goes.

HAAR EK FRIEND ZAROORI HOTHA HAI

2011-11-01T16:14:00.003+05:30

There is not even a single soul out there who doesn't love AIRTEL's latest ad campaign "HAAR EK FRIEND ZAROORI HOTHA HAI", which translates to each one of the friends are important . Airtel make it a point to call everyone around you "A" friend, how nice it would be to live in an imaginary world where there are no enemies right?.

So, here is my list of Zaroori friends

Hang-around friends : The kind of friend you have fun with, the kind of friend that you mall hop with, the kind of friend who understands your shopping sensibilities, the kind of friend who insists on paying the bill.

Back up Best friend : While in school I had this friend, who was pretty close to me, he knew everything about me INSIDE-OUT still, I wouldn't call him my best friend. Why you may wonder...Cause I already had one. So, this friend was always the back up best friend someone who would console you, stand by you, fight for you, tease you and love you unconditionally even though you are never ready to hand him/her the crown of best friend.

Black Box friend : The thing about black box?. The box takes everything in without letting even a beam of light escape. Black box friends are the best secret keepers, one who safe guards you deepest-darkest-meanest secrets.

Strange friend : One day this person comes and talks to you, the next day as you wave your hands up in the air, smiling wide they walk past you as you don't exist. This is exactly the type of friend you can never understand. The type that confuses you if there exists a friendship if any.

Silly friends : The jokers of the gang. They make you laugh and you are your brightest best around them. They say the silliest of things at the wrongest of times and you are left with no option other than to give a heartiest laugh.

We- don't -get along friends : I have a problem with this category. They are the one who finds fault with everything you do. I don't want to equalise this category with "Not a friend" cause everyone is a friend in this imaginary world so, this category likes nothing about you and the feeling is mutual. I had come across this category quite a few number of time.

Dramabaaz friend : The animated expressions, the extremity of emotions, one laugh and thud a fight and we are back together declaration, nothing can describe this volatile relationship better.

The emotionless friend : Hey that was a joke, pale expression. Hey that's so sad, pale expression. The expression seems straight out from the 70's zombies show. Sun or rain they have their trademark expression pasted over every season of the year. Whatever, the shortcoming he/she still is your friend right? :P

So, which category do you fall into?. Or do you have a definition of your own?

image:google

Teenage Drama!!!

2011-10-24T18:49:00.001+05:30

"Di it is so last season" B had a quick glance at my evening dress, she swiftly turned her focus to her fb page. Last season? I murmured to myself, 2 months before as I walked out of the trial room wearing the same dress, I couldn't help but pat on my back for my fashion sense and today a girl 7 years younger was telling me that I looked like an old women?.

On my recent trip to Delhi, me and my family stayed over at my uncles place. The week long tour was a peek into the life of a 16 year old teenage girl, with whom I shared the room .The week long tour brought back some memories and I couldn't resist the temptation of comparing her present life with my good old days. Every where I turned to, I saw young girls dressed way over their age. Most of them looked like a mirror image of each other, same loud music, dressing sense and even the same hair style. For, someone who had quite an uneventful teenage days I was baffled.During the mall days back at Cochin, me and my brother used to sit in one corner people watching, we would calculate the average age of mall throbbing youngsters and it would be around 16-17 year max. Most of them stylishly dressed, holding arms with a stud/drop dead gorgeous girl by their side and that lets me wonder " How much on an average does these kids spend?". When I was in 11th, I would have to beg a hundred million times in front of my dad so that he would give into my loud soabs and hand an extra 30 rupees as pocket money so that I could have my favorite shake that day. Things were different back then, there were no malls, having boyfriends were still a taboo in our society and most importantly consumerism wasn't a term heard quite much even in a communist state like ours. Things have changed! malls have sprouted up in every nook and corner of the city, kids actually love spending time bowling or playing video games in malls , and people prefer KFC and McD over real food.

And all these happened right in front of my eyes and I never knew!!!. I have a brother, 4 years younger but, he still has to beg like I used to , to get extra 10 bucks as pocket money. Okie, comming back to the point I try to melt in , fake in as the sheep, wear a sheep's coat and look cheap in it. Acting my age comes natural to me but, not faking the part of a 16 year old teenage girl. I have reasons to believe I live in an illusioned world cause at 23, I still can't wear my make up or still can't get the names of any boy bands right. I must have lived in some prehistoric times.

Does that mean I am completely against the teenage fun?NO!!! I mean, I don't have anything to look back to and gush, I don't have trazillion pics to choose from for my FB DP, I don't have heart breaks to boast off, I clearly didn't have fun. Times are chnaging and so should you and me. There are moments when I absolutely wish I were a teengae girl, reliving the teenage drama phase and then there are moments where I am thankful to my parents for keeping me grounded to the reality.

The trip did teach me few essential tips to tackle my own future generations:

listen to a teenager: They may have a valid point, you can have your way around after you are done with the hearing part

Understand: The times that we grew in is entirely different from the present scenarios. Don't judge.

Watch: Always be careful, adrenaline high teenager may not be the right judge of a situation but, as a grown up you can and should.

Look up: Never treat them like kids, they are individuals wanting to be heard so always give and take respect.

Work Wear Issues

2011-10-18T16:24:00.001+05:30

So many unfinished, not worthy to be published post lying in my drafts. And here goes my latest attempt to write. When I joined my company nearly 1 and a half years back, there were no specific policy on work wear. As a matter of fact, we did have a 4 page pdf on what to and what not to wear to work place, HELL!!! no one bothered.On a regular working day, one could see strip/acid washed jeans, funky tees and all those not to be worn attires making rounds through the campus. I do know guys who have survived through meetings and deadlines in just 'A' jeans and their ever trust worthy black Rock-N-Roll tees. After I shifted my base to Cochin, things took an U-turn for good, people here dress to work in simple, understated work wears. I ditched my old ways and settled in for more work friendly attires. After numerous mixing , matching, filtering, deciding what to wear I absorbed in the idea of "wearing" your work.

I would still wear my Jeans and tees on those lazy mornings when wearing a traditional wear was unfathomable. On some week days I stretched my jeans ability to survive any more dust and dirt. Last day we received a company mailer asking all employees to dress professionally to work. Jokes flew, and everyone was analyzing everyone else from head to toe. Some of my colleagues came running to me and pointed the mailer and asked " How will you survive from the week on?. No hanging earring, no crazy color combination, no that in your face shoes" and I had to reason with literally everyone , I mean what does work wear mean? Black and white devoid of any color? devoid of pretty prints?.

On Monday I came to work wearing a brown kurta, white leggings , white golden border shawl and nude heels. The security was staring on my legs, may be they expected me to wear something as I wore the last Friday, my yellow sunny peeptoe. I smiled and went in wearing my confidence on my collar or rather my shawl. Hours later, a girl wearing an above knee length kurtha and black leggings from the same ODC came up to me and asked me if the security had warned me of wearing inappropriate dress. She narrated her conversation with the gaurds and it seems, leggings are inappropriate to be worn to work. HMMM!!!! even one of my team mate was complaining on how the security felt about her tight churi being work inappropriate. I pinged some of my Bangalore friends and asked if the same condition prevailed there and they gave me a super confused expression cause no one bothered to tell them that leggings were banned. That made me super red, I mean how can a tight churi, a below knee kurta, or a bright yellow dress be termed as work inappropriate?. The company policy does not site any of the above mentioned into banned lot. Banning something or asking us not to wear something just cause we are in south is bloody BULLSHIT. A sleeveless or a shorts being inappropriate in general public's eyes is no excuse to behave in a way they did. I was left off cause I had worn a shawl with my dress as my whole ensemble was passed off as a churidhar where as, the girl behind me with her leggings and short kurta caught the gaurd's eye. Asking us not to wear a sleeveless cause this is Kerala is bullshit. This is corporate Mr. security, and even if I turn up at work wearing just knee length pencil skirt and a tucked in shirt u will have to let me in cause that my friend is a WORK WEAR.

When life gives you LEMONS, make LEMONADE

2011-10-15T00:23:00.000+05:30

I have multimillion things to share, startingwith the reason for absence from blogger for over a month. I was bamboozled atwork, working late nights, weekend panic attacks, rushing through deadlines allfor a greater good: A WEEK LONG VACATION!!!!. Iam a planner, I plan everything in life starting from my goals to mundanethings like what to wear to work the NEXT week. On one of those relatively easyon the schedule days when I could stretch and take my eyes off my computer Idrew up a plan on what I would wear for the entire vacation week. The planconsisted of a detailed approach and included lists of items I should carry. ByFriday evening I was pretty much sure I wouldn't be able to reach home earlierthan 11pm... I couldn't care much for, I had a task at hand and responsibilityto finish before I could sip my Marguerite and enjoy the colors of fall. Ireached back home tired and wanting to rest my back on my comfy bed, in midstof extreme tiredness I FORGOT to pack my bags.The next day morning when the cuckoo flew over my next, dad was heard straininghis vocal chords, it was more of a war cry I believe. He threatened to abandonme if I didn't bring my suitcase down in 10 minutes. I opened my wardrobe,pulled out whatever I could lay my hands on and was present downstairs in amatter of 5 minutes. At that point missing my flight was far more importantthan looking chic and stylish during the vacations. The point I want tohighlight is No matter how much we plan and plot, life decides it's own.

Life has given me many U-turns. Many times, Ihave stood at the cross roads and wondered "WHATNEXT". We humans have a special trait : Ability to learn fromour mistakes and bounce back stronger. I did just that, found thatperfect door every time which was kept open for me though what I hopedand wished was completely different. People around me feel that there is nopoint in living a well scripted play. Even OSWALD says so (Octopuses are neverthis cute). I like it this way, the script is definitely Indian with full ofrainbow colors :). It gives me a sense of satisfaction that I have not wastedyet another day on Earth. Planning helps me to utilize my energy in the rightdirection. I do agree that, living life by the rule books can suck out the fun element. How do you like your life? Planned or Random?

P.S: I spent my entire vacation on a singlepair of jeans and borrowed clothes.

NO-N-SENSE

2011-09-07T13:30:00.002+05:30

Blogger, How would I have survived without you?. My heart is for the moment brimming with sadness and it feels good to believe that on opposite side of this screen sits an invisible man, with a warm hand assuring me that everything is going to be just fine. I stand with no regrets what so ever. I live in a world with rules created by me, for my convenience.Today I sit slouching on the chair, unaware of the damage my heated conversation has done . I have no one to speak to, to shout at, to laugh with and the words are trailing off. I don't approve of presenting myself in a vulnerable spot in front of a mass audience still, as I find myself in a difficult spot I can do nothing but turn on my system and type away. May be the words are an added burden, not something you would want to read. Why would anyone waste their time reading something confusing and depressing still if you do, please pray for me, my dreams, my life. Things are rapidly spinning out of control and what I wished is not my present.It's stupid to wish for things far stretched but, what I wished was not rocket science but, a simple life with 0 complications.

I hate you (Like I love you)

2011-09-05T18:27:00.003+05:30

My relationship with rain can be better summed up by the song from Delhi Belli. Just few days before You saw me marveling the beauty of rain from the INDOORS here, but today I am singing all together a different song. Its been raining continuously for 6 months now and I have this AAAW (Term coined by G's mates in B-school) feeling whenever I see sun shining through the clouds.

On a holiday, watching rain through the window with a mug of tea in your hand. Well, that's love.

On a working day, when you find your formal wear damp n wet .Well, that's hate.

On a hot summery day, as you take out the tissue to wipe off excess sweat wishing if it rained.Well, that's love.

On a rainy day, when your brother refuses to leave you to office .Well,that's hate.

On a suppose to be dull day, you get drenched in rain and watch the nature in the after rain glow. Well, that's love.

On a damp day,when your co-passengers scream at you for not properly holding your umbrella .Well, that's hate.

I have million reasons to Love-Hate RAIN.

On a completely random note, I can't see past the word cute. Anything cute steals my heart be it kids, pretty hairbands or cheeky romantic films. I have been constantly telling myself (Or rather societal pressure) to grow up, to accept the fact that I am no more 16-17. I know there is no connection what so ever between my likeness for cute things and my general attitude towards life. But people expect me to act my age, take up things that suits my age, dress up like a 23 year old. I doubt, I mean why do I have to grow up, fill my heart with age serum, let my body think I am old. I am not and I simply refuse to believes so. I am from the temple of belief that once you let you heart grow old, the body will automatically follow and then there is no stopping the grey hairs and growing stress lines. Let me celebrate the child in me, live my life stress free, enjoy every second what GOD has gifted. Random thoughts, random musings, random ideas.

Must be wondering about the source of inspiration right?. Presenting to you one of my latest buys.I am not denying the fact that they are CUTE.

Fighting for Dreams

2011-09-01T18:07:00.005+05:30

I knew my brother was home, he usually drops in when his laundry bags are full and has no more strength to hold his stinky clothes. He stays at a home away from home a.k.a HOSTEL. I rang him up and 'requested' him to pick me up from office. Its easy to manipulate him, especially when bike and long drives are involved. The only downfall to this arrangement is the occasional pitstops he would make at his favorite eateries. He agreed(Good for me) and in 20 minutes we were off on the bike. The guy looked upset and I instantly matched his uneasiness to the robotics competition he participated early morning that day. This time, it was not just his laundry that forced him to come home but, a robo wars competition in a near by college. If there is anything that my lousy brother and his alpha male gang is passionate about that's gotta be ROBOTICS. I know the kind of efforts they had put in, the late night chats is a testimonial to the statement.He rings me up at odd hours cause he had soldering to finish and he wants to distract his mind from the drowziness that was trying to take control of his eyes. We would have long pointless talks and after 1 hours or so, he would warn me that I shouldn't be keeping awake late and off he goes to his own world. Mom and dad never understood his obsession and his frequent dipping attendance.For them anything outside academics had to be dealt with after college hours. I knew what he was upto .During all those missed class hours, he would be out there fighting for his dreams, battling for supremacy with his robos in robowars competitions. The guys would miss their lunch so that they can save their pocket money for the best component available. And being his sister it was quite an obvious question to ask"How was the competition,?"I tried to shout it out loud, the wind wouldn't allow my voice to reach his distracted ears."Well, we reached until semis, couldn't beat the other guys cause they had Bosch motors.Our motors didn't even stand a chance to begin with" he replied. "Why didn't you buy Bosch motor then" I asked."We don't have cash!!!" aah a hard hit on my back."MONEY!!!"it's easier for an employed person like me to think of money as just another element in my life but, for a student like him with limited resources...money was indeed precious, especially when you have to give penny-wise account of parent's money ( pocket money) spent."We are not competing again, we are short of cash"he added with a slight hint of despair in his voice. Sacrificed meals, extra efforts in terms of taking tutions, travelling by local class tickets these guy did whatever they could, for their dream to shape into reality . I could say nothing, just think of my good old times when learning was limited to the exam syllabus, funds were never short of only ideas lacked punch(I studied in a posh self financing college, whereas my brother is a student of a prestigious Govt college). Life was easy for us, teachers always used to spoon feed us, train us to fetch ranks, there was no freedom of speech, there were no free periods. The college boasted of 100 % placements in the paper to attract prospective students. I am not against my alma matter but, the point I want to make is:Things were easy, perfect infact too perfect for us but, for these highly talented engineers of tomorrow everyday is a struggle:strikes,no classes,no teachers, no funds still majority comes back fighting bagging core jobs earning 13-14 lakhs per year in the initial phase of their life. What makes me respect them is their vigor to learn and to apply the same . I promised my brother funds for making their dream come true, some small help that I can extend from within my limits. The money I waste on shopping is more than enough to makes these kids happy.These kids are the future of tomorrow and their dreams should not die a premature death cause of shortage of cash. You and me wouldn't be sitting and blogging if not for the trust Mr. Andy Bechtolsheim, co-founder of Sun Microsystems had on Larry Page and Sergey Brin, developers of GOOGLE .

MIRROR, MIRROR on the wall

2011-08-27T13:34:00.003+05:30

I spend my boring weekends reading and spending a considerable amount of time surfing the net. I am an avid blogger since 2006, the year when I decided to get away with the habit of putting my thoughts on a dairy cause it presented an array of complications from, my brother sneaking into my personal life via my diaries to finding a new diary every year. My transition from paper to e-pages was quite smooth. I never felt the urge to publish my real name cause, I like the aura of mysterious charm and the privacy that blogosphere provides me. The news of my personal blog was shared with a few as it provided me the perfect platform to let know the other person what I am thinking at the moment, it eased out lot of conflicts within and gave me a perspective to start afresh each day. I wrote cause I wanted to, I am no wizard when it comes to words, just that I can manage my words and have my adjustable grip over em. As time passed my style evolved too and slowly but, steadily this blog became a part of my life. Even today, some of the old memories bring out smile on my lips. 5 years have passed and this blog has been always my pillar of support.

Over time my tastes have changed rapidly from teenage blog following-family blog following-fashion blog following, I amuse myself during each milestone periods of my life. My current favourite? Well, fashion blogs and I have quite a few bookmarked. May be age is catching up with me, or is it the desire to look good and the happiness that reflects when you see someone wear something that you don’t have the guts to wear?. What is that I like about fashion blogging ?the colours, stories, trend alerts, mix ‘n’ match and whole lot more to be precise.

I am not much of a dresser myself, I can easily camouflage myself into the regular looking crowd and you will never spot me J. I look like your regular neighborhood not so stylish 23 year old .I am faced by so many constrains that holds me back from experimenting with my looks

Socio-environmental constrains: In my place sleeveless/shorts/peep toes/attention seeking colors are a definite NO-N). You can give the above a miss if you have a chauffeur to drop you from the place you want to go to your home, but if you have parents like mine who insist that you be part of a larger environmental movement by traveling in public transport then the above constrain is definitely applicable to you.
Even the climate (hot/humid/rains) doesn’t allow me to wear my heart out.
Budget constraints are non-existent because I have a job that pays me well.
Absence of any major retail giants in your city can be yet another constrain.

Sandwiched in between all these constrains if I don’t manage to impress you how can you blame me huh?. No one expects me to give em a piece of advice on fashion so, it’s all fair.

After going through the all the blogs I did realise something about myself, that I do have an enviable collection of earrings and after numerous number of thinking-analyzing-rethinking I decided that I would start a new blog showcasing my earring collection and thus, A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING came into existence. This particular blog is not like my personal blog where, nothing what I write doesn’t has to be understood by the reader. They may not make any sense most of the time, not if you don’t know the REAL me. I wish ki the other blog (, A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING) get a small fan/critic base and people read/reject/throw stones/reject my so called obsession with earrings. For that matter of fact MIRROR will always be my first love, the thing I cherish for being PERSONAL. This might clear some airs about posts from A GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING getting published on my facebook wall quite frequently.

I do follow some blogs religiously, some which I can relate to, some which I like from a distance, some which I admire well, most of the places I may/may not leave a comment based on what catches my fancy. Most of the times I just read and make a quite exit as I don’t want the reader to be pressurized into replying to my comment or as a return of favor visit my blog. This blog (MIRROR) has given me so much freedom, so much courage to write on/about things I care and it will continue to remain so.

And it rains

2011-08-21T20:36:00.003+05:30

Moments that takes my breath away

Moments where I feel blessed to be alive

Moments that inspires me

Moments that takes me to the wonderland with em

Moments ....

Before the rains

The municipality appointed grass cutters were irking not just my dog's sensitive ears but, mine too.

The sun was hiding behind the clouds.

My neighbor has set afire all the left over coconut branches; with the smoke slowly drifting towards my window the sight was not pretty.

I ran to close the window shut, and it rains....

After the rains

Can't seem to complain about smell of fresh cut grass

The gorgeous golden sun beams peaking through the silver clouds...magical

Smoke overpowered by the small drops of rain, the view priceless

I keep my window open taking in a large puff of air before the smell of grass subdues, I catch a ray of golden gleam before the sun says GOODBYE...

Mesmerized I stand near my window grill, savoring the beauty of nature at its best. Definitely, one of the best days of my life.

PS- Not the best of the writing but, just wanted to capture a frame of the visual I saw today, the overwhelmed feeling that I sensed.

Shopping for life

2011-08-15T20:24:00.003+05:30

This story happened few months before and there is a reason why I am bringing it up today. On one of my visits home, as I was unpacking, I saw my brand new Levis curve id sitting untouched underneath all that piles of clothes. I took it up, wore them and went straight to my mom .As usual she was busy with her paper works and it took me more than 10 minutes to get her attention. After walking up and down the stairs for quite some time she gave that weird look from behind her glasses and asked me” I see, you have been walking up and down for quite some time. Shoot it!!”. With my enthusiasm running high I settle in a chair next to her “Amma you didn’t notice I bought a new Jeans”. She sheepily gazed at my jeans and nodded.”Well, I bought it from Levis” I continued with my conversation. And for people who know my mom the next question is quite obvious “How much ?”. I knew this awkward moment would come, but I seriously don’t like hiding anything from mom so, I tried to keep down my voice as much as I can and muttered ”3K +”. She nearly dropped her pen and looked at me with her brow crouched at a weird angle. She picked up the conversation minutes later and stared tapping her fingers in a rhythmic fashion on the table “don’t you think it’s little costly for a pair of saggy jeans”. There is no point arguing with her so, I nodded my head and sat through the whole lecture of how money is precious. Whole of the incident happened AFTER I was placed and earning. One week after, we went to a Saree boutique while I slouched on the chair waiting for my mom to finish her shopping. She picked up a saree and trusted the bill on to my hands. As I had a look at the bills my heart skipped a beat, 6K? And that too for a silly Saree one would wear to maximum 3-4 occasions per year? What happened to the whole cash is precious thing?. My jeans would definitely have a better lifespan that the saree. On our way back I bought up the conversation and this was my mom’s answer” Well Levis is costly but for a saree the money that I spent is clearly visible, anyone having a first glance at this would know it’s worth 5k but, your baggy jeans does it look like it cost you a bomb?. I was so angry that I kept my mouth shut and in yet another week’s time forgot all about it until last day when I went in to buy a shawl. I love my FabIndia shawls and after spending 1.9 k over a purple one I found that the shawl doesn’t exactly match with the shade of my top L. I was vaining and complaining the same to my fiancé and in between all the drama he put up the formidable question “Anyways how much did it cost you?. Max 300-400!! forget it”. I had this lump down my throat when I corrected his amount as 300*6. I could hear nothing but, silence from the other end and then a sudden explosion ”WHAT THE HELL!!!You spending so much over a silly shawl”. I couldn’t hold back my tears and burst off ”I am earning, and it I can’t enjoy a part of it then why should I even bother to work?”. Well, that gave Mr. MBA some management gyaan in HR.

I seriously don’t know why my parents hate branded stuff and still don’t mind spending double or triple for a local boutique stuff. Do we wear clothes to impress others or to feel good about ourselves?

Image courtesy:ZARA

2011-08-10T11:15:00.000+05:30

I was always made to believe that love was blind. For me the theorem had a loophole somewhere and never had my money vouched for, I still had a doubt about my apprehensions ”What if it’s not true for the majority?”. There existed people around me who still believed in the age old wise talk. Some engagement pictures of a friend of mine proved that my doubting genes were all in place and working fine .Love isn’t blind, it has all the senses intact well, as a matter of fact it can see things most of us can’t, feel, hear and even smell better than a person who is not in love. Love as an entity is like a human, with presumably better senses .If not how can you explain the phenomenon of Love-Breakup-Just Friends? . After college the surprises kept on pouring, Facebook showed me changing facets of relationship as “status”. XXX engaged to ZZZ and I hold back my bewildered face for a moment and think then what about YYY? .The same YYY who refused to be away from XXX whole through the college life?. Everyone talked about how a perfect couple they were, even professors would agree on the same. They used to be inseparable with XXX keeping aside all her works so that YYY could submit his lab records, XXX constant visit to the classrooms to make sure YYY was properly eating!!!!. After college you see XXX’es status as engaged to ZZZ (Obviously a millionaire NRI hunk). Now I start wondering “what about good old love stories with happy endings?” .Few love stories have stood test of time and luckily mine falls in that rare category. 3 years and counting until WEDLOCK-DEADLOCK J. I couldn’t imagine myself loving someone and spending my whole life with someone else, for me my love was more about dreams that I weaved and for me to break a nest to build a castle was not acceptable. I wanted to share my aspirations, dreams and life with a single person so, I settled in for a guy whom my family would approve of. The guy turns out to be everything my family wants, everything I want and how lucky can I get?. My LOVE is going strong and the reason for it is “MY LOVE WAS WEARING A LONG SIGHTEDNESS SPECTACLES “.See, LOVE isn’t blind it’s just an opportunist.

2011-08-01T17:59:00.001+05:30

1. THE SPIRIT OF AIRBUS

A fine morning to end a series. Today I will be penning down the last of the series, snapping all the clogged emotions , all the while cherishing the little moments of togetherness
Okay!!!what do I miss the most in airbus...no prize for guessing its

PEOPLE and MOMENTS

I really can't figure out the order of prominence with which I miss them .Both of the above seems to haunt me down in ma loneliness, poking and pricking my consciousness.

PEOPLE

People, coming from a close nit environment I was not sure whether I would fit into the corporate culture. Initially it was self compelled exile refusing to mix, I was curling up in ma shell. Malvika would nudge me to come along for lunch and slowly I was walking out of my comfort zone. Soon enough, myself and Mallu became 12 O clock lunch partners.
The bond between the 5 of us was strong, beyond the workspace or the corporate race, 5 of us were turning out to be a surprise package...pulling each other's leg, irritating, WE bought the much needed freshness of youth into the ODC. No one was spared, not even the guys from TESTING!!
For us each day was a fresh beginning and start of a new struggle. Somewhere down the lane, even when pressure was looming over heads or when each of us were singing a completely different tune, we just had enough time for that 10 am chai or simple silly jokes.
Innumerable jokes cracked, some worth 100 million bucks, some poor duds .I still remember majority of them, most of them aimed at top guns we merried away extending 10 minutes break to 45 or even an hour. The 7th floor A wing balcony hold lots of memories, the lookout for good looking miniature creatures(that’s how you get the view from 7th floor), the strong wind blowing against a day’s frustration or even the Malayalam sentences that fills up our conversation much to the annoyance of Rahul n Laxmin. What stays with me is not just the aroma of morning coffee but, the smell of memories some sweet, some bitter.
The series is not long enough to highlight the human and inhuman sides of inmates of AIRBUS but, a short peek into the lives of colorful people wouldn’t hurt right?. So, here goes

1. Malvika Manoj

My work buddy cum lunch buddy. A prism, which takes in the dull white light and refracts into a colorful rainbow . A shopping junkie like me, our talks range from one extreme to other. An absolute delight.

2. Tinu Babu

Cubicle mate and weekend mate. It’s the long serious chats with her that I have enjoyed the most. Pocket full of mysteries as she likes to keep her life to herself. But, even with a bad start I found someone to whom I can confide my secrets.

3. Manish Mohan Unnithan

Versatile guy-early morning bird who listens to all my ramblings. Focused!! he knows his aims and desires. Clean slate, and it’s always nice to have someone who can go on listening to you for hours without even battling an eyelid.

4. Laxmindhar Mahapatra

One moment I think I got this guy all figured out and the next moment I have to convince myself I know nothing. Confused and never resisting the flow of life. I have wished if he could just pour out. He doesn’t and the more turmoiled he becomes deep inside.

5. Rahul Sharma

Encyclopedia-Fun loving and BRRRRRR...........He has this don’t care attitude stuck on his face for most of the time. Any issue with the system you know whom to go and seek help.

6. Pchow

My team -lead. Acts her age but sometimes in her company acts very much under aged. Likes to watch all the drama and keeps her opinions to herself.

7. Jaya

Respect. It takes lot of patience to guide a bunch of unruly kids like US. I go sit on her desk and go on talking .Even during the Tsunami of work load over her she has never asked me to keep my mouth shut. I do respect her attitude towards work and respect her as an individual.

8. Ragul

No comments there. Sweet guy

9. Raj

Respect. No fuzz guy he is one person who used to support me and Mallu all the way. Realistic in his approach. Have seen him slouching in his chair when the work used to be at its peak .You can see him cracking occasional but, impactful jokes on Malvika and that’s when you know C++ work modules are closed.

Then there are lots of people…Srini, Manas, Viji, Anshu, Sujay,Logesh, testing team and lots more…..people who made my stay in AIRBUS worthwhile, people who made my day bearable, people who walked past and smiled, people who made me realize what work culture is all about.

Now for the moments….

MOMENTS

Tea times, Lunch times, small small arguments, teasings, tears, chocolate moments, meetings, Junkyard grooves, DJ nights ,Xmas celebrations, lies, delivery , late night work,ccd,EC1,the final farewell....I have pictures of millions of moments captured in ma memory and I don't have a guarantee of what time may do to these memories but, they will be always preserved in a corner of ma heart.

Adieus AIRBUS, thanks for making me what I am today, thanks for testing my patience, thanks for giving lots of amazing people as friends, thanks for teaching me about life beyond textbooks, thanks for everything!!!

No 2.

2011-07-29T14:19:00.000+05:30

No.2 THE DEADLY MEETING

Events of yesterday spurred up my writing genes and I am back with the second last entry to the series 10 things I miss about AIRBUS ODC. When the series was in its nascent state I had noted down all the things I missed in a notepad but, the spot 1 and 2 was left blank as it was my instinct that I wanted to project not the prepared speech delivery.

Before even beginning to sound like a developer let me give a brief description on how the spot 2 was found from a trivial affair.

Status meetings: I received a mail from Gurgaon yesterday regarding the weekly status meeting which goes something like this "1 week since we have chatted and shared our ideas .Let's meet @ 11:30 today”. Such an informal invitation to a status meeting. What happens in the meeting is even more fun cross talks, mute talks, play talks, official talks I mean we cover every aspect of the word "TALK". This set me thinking……..

If there is anything I miss about AIRBUS it gotta be the 10:00 am Status meeting. A time when random rumblings became words of wisdom, ideas meant more headache to developers, bowed brows of manager meant trouble.

The time was odd, with most of the late birdies nearly missing the status meeting or early birdies missing out on the long tea breaks. The venue was the usual Airbus meeting room, sparsely decorated with a white board a conference desk for managers and few chairs.

I have some very good dreams associated with the white board, dreams specifically cause I would be half asleep most of the time Raj(Archi) had tried to induce some System wisdom into our heads. I would just dream away.....screeching halt to diverting subject. Lets just concentrate on topic at hand...see this is exactly what happens back behind the closed doors....the manager starts with one topic and after 15 minutes of never ending negotiation all of us would be arguing on a very different topic , deviating from the agenda.

OVER INFLATED OPTIMISM

Every manager would like to hear the golden word "DONE" from his subordinates so, he/she can mark the excel sheet row as done , shining in the colour RED .What happens is…. a task 50%-60%-80% completed is DONE for the manager .No one ever thinks of the left 50%-40%-20%, net effect under estimation of efforts.

ANGRY BIRDS

The meeting is not short of drama, the above mentioned over inflated optimism triggers angry bird symptom in many, refusing to accept the short deadlines, questioning the way things are done, giving others a reality check. But, their whole sincere effort is utter waste , this can be clearly seen in the next meeting .

NOD-O-NOD

Some of the mates are NOD-O-NODS....

MANAGER: can you do this within a day

PERSON: NOD

MANAGER: can you give your 20% effort to x, 40% effort to Y ...we still got your some part left

PERSON: NOD

MANAGER:????

PERSON: NOD

See these are super humans one who can multitask and they are the most dangerous one's ….they gives the manager an impression all of us are there for partying while, they are working hard.

DEAD-DYING-DIED

Some like me don't even bother to react to all the chaos in the room. Conveniently seated in an elevated altitude, we are keepers of all the happenings, never to get involved in any of the above said activities. We call ourselves DEAD community. The ones who do all the drone work, ones who don't have any right to speak up, ones who cannot say NO.YES , that's people like US.

SARCASTIC SMILIE

Of many smiles that fill the glass doors, SARCASTIC SMILIE is the best to watch. The over inflated optimism when triggered gives an allergic reaction to some WISE people or realists who are yet another branched out species sharing the same branch as ANGRY BIRDS but, unlike them never picks up a fight. They keep their roots grounded and they speak through brain waves

MANAGER: can you get this work done by today?

SMILIE(through brain waves) :KEEP ON WISHING!!!IN YOUR DREAMS :)

After all the drama when all of us come out of the room, nothing would have been achieved not the target, not the tasks just plain waste of an hour when one could have gone out and had some hot piping tea. I so miss the daily status meeting filled with all the drama unlike the fun filled ones in NSN.

2011-07-22T13:18:00.002+05:30

Today at EOD I am not exactly in the mood in which I started my day off. This post is going to explore two stark contrasting sides of mine.

On a pleasant note, I confess that I am a limited budget monthly shopper. SALE is one 4 letter word that brings out lot of happy emotions in me, times when one can afford high end brands without burning a hole in the pocket. The SALE season doesn't influence my shopping pattern though. SALE has not swept a sleepy city like mine in a big way and most of the regular retailers don’t even know what exactly SALES mean.

Most of the months I exceed my shopping limit and during the last few days of the month I struggle to balance my balance sheet. Now, most of you guys must have branded me a shopaholic or spendthrift. Well, NO!!!I am not a spendthrift as I save 3/4^th of my income. With Dad as treasurer nothing can break my confidence not even the swipe Gods!!!

I have come up with a proper shopping plan that would help me in bringing out little more order in my life and shopping endeavors.

Step 1. Budget

Always define a limit to your shopping buys. Based on income and spending capacity one can tailor make this plan .Always be careful of the limit. If you are defining the limit as 4000 then, separate it out as 3000+1000 .1000 extra for those last minute impulsive buys. If you are strong enough to restrict yourself in that 3000 range then, at the end of the month you are free to spend 1000 as you like.

Step 2. Prepare a list

Most of us end up spending more than what we ought to because we don't have a clue on what we actually need. Making plans is not enough, sticking to it also counts. So beginning of the month list out the items you want to buy.

Step 3. Frequency of shopping

Be aware of the frequency in which you shop. For a 9-6:30 working women like me, Saturdays and Sundays are my only outing options. Those days I end up spending. Buying all the things in your list in a day is not a good idea if you have a tendency to go out in all the four weeks. The problem with the above mentioned is that the next week when you go out and when you see something that you like, you tend to go over the budget.

If you are a 4*1 shopping person and if your budget is 3000, make sure you plan such that you spend only a part of your budget each week. It can be 500+500+1500+500 or 2000+250+500+250.Tailor make it based on your list.

Step 4. Prioritize

Even after step 3 most of us would find our self staring at a list impossible to obtain in the given budget. If that’s the case then make sure you prioritize. Something you have been eyeing for quite a long time can be placed 1st in the list. If something you want will be available in half the price on SALE which will be coming up shortly or if you can get away without having that 5th bag in your wardrobe then shift it to the next months list. Make sure your needs are relevant ones. Why bother buying a new bag of the color that you have presently? .Why bother repeating the pattern in your wardrobe?

Make sure you buy only those items that you want badly. Please understand that something for the future is for the future and if it’s not for the present, we can worry about it later.

Step 5. Find the right shop

This step is the most important one. One may buy stuff on first week only to end up seeing the same stuff at half the price somewhere less. Make sure you weigh your options before checking out things in your list. Surf through multiple stores before making a final decision.

Armed with all these Steps you are good to go. Have a happy shopping experience

Now let's see the primary goal with which I had written up these rules. For the post to serve its intended purpose I have to go through entire steps. So, presenting to you my shopping plan for the month of August.

My shopping plan

Step 1:

Budget for month of August: Rs .3000

Step 2:

List: Accessories

Bag

1 Kurtha+ 1 salwar

1 silk shawl

Step 3:

Frequency 3 weeks* 1day each

1500+500++1000-1500

Step 4:

Prioritize

I can give the bag a miss

Priority List

1. Silk shawl 1000-1500

2.Kurtha+salwar

3. Accessories. May be I can bring accessories allowance to 600-700.

Step 5:

1.Fabindia/Parthas

2.Rangoli

3.Small shop in convent Junction.

Let's see if all ma shopping gyaan works :P

We

2011-07-18T18:14:00.002+05:30

Today's post is short and full of heavy burden thoughts.....

I don't know what to make of people, for a moment I think I have got it all figured out and I just expect that person to behave in the way he/she is supposed to ,at least to where the calculation leads.NO!!!! they behave completely random leaving no traces or patterns.I stand on the analysis baffled, scratching out whatever little hair I have" How the hell can ma analysis go wrong?" .

That may be the reason why humans are the most advanced species, we never commit the same mistake twice, we keep tab of all the good things and bad things, we are compassionate, we reason , we come into terms with our own bad side. Also we have the ability to take a U-turn whenever it like.

2011-07-12T09:30:00.002+05:30

Its getting more and more difficult to complete the series, the ambiance, work and people are not helping me either. As it gets painful with each day, I better get done with this series and fast.

Simulator Wars

"Who is using 215?"Junkindhar's loud pitched voice is an alarm of sorts, one that resonates the feeling that something bad has happened and by default the feeling is true.

It becomes difficult to develop a page without using simulator.As much as I hate using it I had no other option to get the required dynamic data from back end. My initial tryst with the simulators didn't go well as I found them painfully slow. For me, the large time taken for making a small change was the luxury I couldn't afford. Slowly as the pages moved from static to dynamic I shifted my whole focus to simulators. As much as its painful to see your changes reflected its much more painful to convince Laxmindhar to part with his precious simulators.I have always had this devilish thought of messing up with his code to avenge all his serious no-sense talk like" WHAT YOU DOING?JUNK WORK!!!". Every time when an important change was to be made I found the simulator locked by an alpine or some other junk random word. Laxmindhar in later months had literally turned into a simulator protecting monster.

The one person who had to face the monster's wrath was Tinu.I still remember the vigor with which Tinu was left with playing with the simulator or rather you can call it as an curiosity gone wrong.She replaced the entire folder and Junkies changes were gone ,literally vaporised.....I still have Junkies face expression etched into ma memory and let me tell you it was hilarious :P...Well, I miss working on simulators and more importantly I miss the guy called "LAXMINDHAR" who had the weirdest theorems when it came to girls.The guy was one with the same wavelength as mine, one whose desk I managed to cause damage to thanks to ma frequent visits to his place, occasional irritating talks.Dude where ever you are after 10 years please please do give me 14% hike for ma appraisal(Managerial material).

Miss ya!!

2011-06-21T10:02:00.000+05:30

Had this material ready last Friday but, had to put the status to pending owing to piled up last moment work.

4. Funday Friday
Playing music @ ma desk with all those memories rushing by. Today's post is not just about things I miss about AIRBUS, it’s also about things I miss about WALMART.WALMART ODC, behind the sealed glass doors was always the Hip ODC for us...the ideologies of WALMART founder,...reflected their fun @ work attitude. Some gorgeous looking Green tags (managers with 10+ exp) was also the source of this interest. The one thing that tops the list of envious memories is : MUSIC....Friday's are such a source of inspiration to complete all those pending work so that one can beat the Bangalore traffic and reach home early to savor the two week offs. We get so engraved in our works that someone has to remind us of the weekdate and WALMART does that sane perfection. Each one of us waits eagerly for the clock to strike 4 so as MUSIC from the neighboring ODC can soothe our senses and provide us with much needed relief. Placed comfortably near the cabin that separates AIRBUS ODC from WALMART ODC I was the first one to alert the rest of the gang of the 2 hour music EXTRAVAGANZA.MUSIC transits across all boundaries and languages. No matter from where you are they, have the playlist ready with at least a few of your favorite songs .They are also the source of constant update for us about the latest tracks in town .Fridays each one of us would be just wishing that they play our favorite tracks.
Have heard some managers from Our ODC complaining about the intensity of loudness with which they play the tracks but, have I have never felt the melody as hindrance....there was a change in attitude over the months with Rahul n Sujay playing music when managers were not around :P....Well, I still listen to music every Friday’s but, it’s nothing compared to the feeling of stealing the vibrations from across the ODC....

5. Chaired matters...

2011-06-14T10:54:00.001+05:30

10 things that I missed about airbus ODC, series was something that I had to force down the throats of ma colleagues and died premature death before its completion. An out of moment ping that forced me to think back and make ma self believe that I am not short of audiences .The series is back in track-alive and kicking.

5. Chaired matters...

Of many life saving skills that I attained from AIRBUS, finding the right chair and whisking it away would have to be tagged the most innovative one. Stealing is not a virtue you would wanna flaunt but, AIRBUS did teach me that no virtue is not worth mentioning in your appraisal form.

Chair is an important part of a software engineer’s life considering the fact that we do spend more than 7hours (Not in ma case :P) on them. Lazy posture, concentration posture, frustrated posture, dedicated posture, Friday joyous posture...one look at the posture of the person and you can get to know the situation of the code.

Being an early bird has its own advantage, I take a stroll through all the cabin searching for that right chair the one with proper backrest, right angle slouch ,proper height and so on...I whisk away the nearly perfect one rolling it down to ma cabin .The rolling is certainly not a happy affair...hitting and completely wayward chair manages to make enough screeching/hitting on cabin sounds alerting few other early birds. As I manage to keep my chair ,slowly the ODC fills up by around 11.The few unlucky ones (afternoon birds) have tough time finding a chair let alone the right one. It’s always EMPLOYEES vs CHAIRS and the later always manages to win. Unscathed by the supply shortage the afternoon birds waits until some poor tea deprived soul to step out and with their eagle like precision manages to get a hold on to the chair the former have been sitting declaring the chairs as their own .As the cup yielding soul returns back only to find his chair missing .The person who did whisk the chair sits there with utter concentration ,his eyes fixed on to the screen acting unaware of what’s happened minutes ago.

Obviously You will never be able to apply your monopoly to any of the chairs (thanks to night owls) as one is forced to repeat the same routine over and out the next day.

In Cochin every time I walk towards the cabin after my short break I have this delusion up in ma head that ma chair would be missing and the inert virtue of stealing awaitens its renewal .No, I find ma chair there safe and here EMPLOYEES always win considering the number of empty cubicles. How I so miss the screeching sound the chair makes while being rolled down from one destination to other and I so miss ma hunt for MR.RIGHT CHAIR....

2011-06-10T15:42:00.004+05:30

How much do we get influenced by people and places ?a lot? or is it rarely or even a not at all? Well, in ma case the phrase " most of the times" would be apt. One has to just audit through ma bookmarks to get state of ma mind at that instant. Yesterday was one of those jobless days. Usually I have ma set of friends to ping and disturb on such days but, not yesterday .All communicators bulbs were gleaming RED and a "DO NOT DISTURB" warning that kept me off from ma usual dose of Hais and hellos. I have some interesting blogs bookmarked to keep maself occupied on such days. Ma neighbors would have had a panic attack seeing ma screen full of fab decors. I can get pretty annoyed if am working like a donkey trying to work through the 5 doc at a time where as ma neighbor is sitting there sipping his/her coffee slightly hunched on the chair listening to ma favorite song on his/her Ipod instead of taking a good look at the docs .So, I do know how much pair of eaglish eyes I had to evade yesterday. Home/Decor/design is ma area of interest along with just to see fashion/gossip/masala domain .Its remarkable how people can come up with such creative ideas ,turn junk into a masterpiece in short turn walls to homes. It amazes me cause no matter what I do, ma brother ,mom or dad end up messing up and I end up thinking that "THE IDEA" is not worth implementing in a home like mine where movement happen in every second. No matter how many ever times I warn ma brother not to have his junk food dosage on sofa he still does, no matter how many times I warn ma mom not to remove the candles from its designated place she still does it, no matter how many ever times I ask ma dad not to crumble the carpet he still does. In midst of all these chaos I end up losing the war against the unwanted forces .For them it’s just a home, not something to be feel good about...its just a place where you spent some hours of a day. The visual aspect of interior design is neglected an even ma mom discourages me on ma endeavors due to the large amount of effort she has to put in to keep things in place when am not around .Of 20 months that I stayed away from ma home and ma room, the worst neglected part of the house was ma room. For someone who keeps her room picture perfect it was heartbreaking to see things strewn around or the being misplaced. The long separation spelled doom for ma room, and it slowly turned to a cowed den ,somewhere you just don't wANNa spent more than the regular 7 hours of sleeping time .Another problem that I faced was dust, it had engulfed my pet soft toys all browned beyond recognition .The window grills covered in piles of dust or the curtains singing a sad tale....so much for the sad state... The whole day I ended up reading interior design blogs ,DIY ideas and by 6:45 when I left ma PC I was inspired to do something, to change the perspective of how things are done at ma home. By 8 I reached my humble adobe and first things I did was to throw out ma brothers computer and after 3 hours of hard toiling ma room was ready though not remotely close to what I had seen in blogs but at par with ma expectations. People say that your home is where the heart is but, I beg to differ In ma case, its “heart is where ma home is” .Each one of us would like to stay in a picture perfect home, one that invites you in, one that makes you wanna extend your stay a little longer ,one that makes you smile at its sight ,one that calms your senses .Even , I dream of "MY PERFECT HOME" and someday ma dreams will take its shape .Every home oozes its residents sensibilities ,tastes and you can judge a person with the way in which he keeps his/her home. I have always turned to good books when I am short of literary inspiration, style blogs when my wardrobe looks "MEH" now its interior solutions...Im never short of inspiration thanks to the world wide web that keeps my dull life going.
Image courtesy:of peacocks and paisleys

2011-06-06T14:58:00.000+05:30

Im not an AND person when it comes to tackling problems ,that means I cannot handle more than one problem at a time .I am not a saint either, like any other I do cry and crib over the problems....

I cannot tackle problem A,B,C and D at the same time cause all the problems added would give me a splitting headache, and when I find the problems out of my normal solving capacity I get panicky.

I take time, shed some tears , blame all the people around me and then start putting some good thought into solving the problem at hand and surprisingly I do well in finding out solutions.

It irritates me when people tell me "I am angry due to so and so....AND problem B is also creating such an issue along with problem C". How the hell am I supposed to infer, what is hurting you more…. problem A,B or C. Which one should be solved at this instant? which one can ease your pain?.Take your time, decide and let me know.

I am a person who can deal with just one thing at a time and the process of coming out of multiple problems is quite time consuming process for me .I expect people not to load me with their issues just cut into smaller portions that I can deal with the blow one at a time.

2011-05-26T09:25:00.000+05:30

6.LUNCH BREAKS!!!

My stomach would vouch for the 6th spot given to Lunch breaks in AIRBUS. It all starts with a single chat
Window "LUNCH"?.I would instantly lock ma computer and run to MALLU's cabin before even she can respond.
The usual 1 hour break stretches to 1:30-2 hours increasing based on work pending. The conversation on our way to the center court stretches from work to tredz .Lunch queue is always short and to our relief moves really fast unlike that in Cochin. On this occasion I would like to say a silent prayer for all those chicken that we consumed in these 8 month R.I.P guys!!!Every other day we would end up taking biriyani or kabab no matter how determined we are about starting dieting that very day. All up in air!!!
The next task is obviously to find a place to sit. Moments when u think you have made it to the chair, someone else would place his/her plate and give a "I WON, YOU LOOSE" smile. Else,the chairs would be blocked for their friends of friends of friends. Finally after much scanning, body movement analyzing we would successfully manage to find two seats and after 1 hour of conversation we would call it an afternoon. The funny part is that though we are never short of conversations, each day we start a new one as if we some long lost buddies.
After the sumptuous meal ,its another round of meal for us especially If any one of us are in a mood to have Ice-cream from AMUL. I never thought Gulab jamun with ice-cream can taste so good until I had them from AMUL. Licking our melting AMUL ice-cream we head back to our ADDA(Not the one that you are thinking, we still got another 30 minutes you see). What happens to the rest of the break you must be wondering right? Coming soon in a new post.

2011-05-25T16:57:00.000+05:30

I'm staring out into the night, Trying to hide the pain.

I'm going to the place where love And feeling good don't ever cost a thing. And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems, The closer I get to you. I've not always been the best man or friend for you. But your love remains true.

And I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try. So I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old, Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, And then some you don't want. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old. I said these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. I'm going home.

2011-05-19T13:40:00.001+05:30

7.. Junk Guys

If there is one word that has crawled into ma vocabulary ,then it definitely has to be the word “JUNK”. Spread from an unknown source(most probably Pchow), the whole team was heard embracing the word in a short span .The master of this word title has to go to Laxmindhar a.k.a JUNKINDHAR. He got so much addicted to the word that he couldn’t pass even a single day without uttering the word minimum 50 times. No one was in a mood to check if the junk word is a noun or a verb, but was abundantly used in day to day conversation. At some point of time people, place, work…. everything was addressed as JUNKS!!!.I miss using this word in ma random conversations…….

2011-05-18T17:20:00.001+05:30

8.It’s a candy land.

The moment you hear someone saying that Mr.X is returning from onsite ,a definite question lingers in air:”which chocolate is he going to bring?”.On the D-Day everyone awaits the familiar mail “SWEETS @ MY DESK”. It’s a mad rush to get one's hands on the chocolates. Managing to sneak in at least your fingers through the already settled crowd is a task by itself. May be the face that stands in one corner watching all the fuss is a forgotten one or may be he/she doesn’t even know who you are but, that in never gonna stop you from whisking away as many chocolates your hands and pockets can hold. Mars ,the famous rum chocolates, milk chocolates….I have lost count of the number of chocolates I have had in the last 8 months. I am certainly gonna miss the sweet savor of FREE ONSITE chocolates.

Lifting spirits UP

2011-05-17T15:49:00.003+05:30

Lifting spirits UP !!!

Not exactly a moment that would lift one's spirits up.S1 tower officially has nearly 8 lifts and the logic on which they operate is still a mystery coded for US.You press the down button to wait for nearly 15 minutes .After 15 minutes of foot tapping eternal wait you realize that the lift has bypassed your floor.It may stop at 8th or 6th floor but, definitely not yours.
Consider it as your lucky day if you manage to find a lift stopped at your floor,one peek inside and you will realize that its not exactly your lucky day as the lift would be jammed pack with people ,with not even an inch space for a needle let alone a 50 kg body mass.
Have had some fantastic moments in Bangalore lifts....Sign languages,familiar languages,photo takes and retakes,pressing every key possible,some weird looks .......
Cochin lifts are relatively free,non-crowded and you can always find at least one on each floor,so much for the lifting spirits.

10 random things I miss about my AIRBUS ODC

2011-05-12T13:23:00.000+05:30

10 random things I miss

about my AIRBUS ODC.......

The last post showcased my journey over the past 8 months and the emotions that caused a furor in the bus stand.This post is a salute to the places and people and it will take you through a tour of small significant-insignificant things that made up my life.

The number 10 spot goes to.......
10.RED BUS/IRCTC/KSRTC site surfing
Everyone loves to go home and the love accelerates based on the distance you are away from your den.There is one thing that I used to do the moment I switched on ma system without fail for the past 8 months:To check all those travel sites for a ticket to Cochin that very weekend, even if I had just come back from a week's holidaying.Slowly, it turned into my routine habit.Sight of a vacant nominally rated seat brought bundle full of joy into ma life.Now that I am back home and daily travel isn't much of an organised and exciting affair as long distance I would certainly miss the familiar sight of redbus and irctc.